Oh SNAP!!! (Food Know-It-All)

Everyone's attitude about the food stamp program, SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) can stink. It offers nutrition assistance to millions of eligible, low-income individuals and families and provides economic benefits to communities.

No matter whether a person is on them or not the shameful stigma looms. Even though it helps feed 1:8 adults & 1:4 children, too many of them think the use of SNAP is a confession of failure. In my opinion, it is because of how we are all educated about the program.  Those that are on it are not properly educated on how to use their stamps. Those that are not on them are educated with biased information based on stereotypes.

Lawmakers love to argue to abolish the SNAP program. They use cases like these articles Tax dollars withdrawn at liquor stores, strip clubs, or Steak and lobster? Not with food stamps, says lawmaker. The media put out mug shots of the various people who misuse the system. Oh and let us not forget the documentaries of food deserts that are within impoverished areas.

Have you ever seen a sign like this? It is probably because you were shopping at or passing by one. Can you tell me if you know anyone who is on SNAP who shops at a farmer's market? Have you ever asked somebody on SNAP if they knew they could shop at fresh produce markets? I have. The answer I got was nobody says it but the addresses are in the info pack they received when they get on the program. It's like there is money in basic informing, misinformation, & fear but none in the education of the program. But how did it happen?

Let me introduce you to the "Welfare Queen" story. The term "welfare queen" became a catchphrase during the political dialogue of the 1980s and 1990s. The most well-known person to use this moniker was Ronald Reagan.

Starting with his 1976 presidential campaign, Reagan gave America a sunny "Morning in America" optimism, but the "Welfare Queen," an infamous character description "There's a woman in Chicago," Reagan said, according to an article in the now-defunct Washington Star. "She has 80 names, 30 addresses, 12 Social Security cards. ... She's got Medicaid, getting food stamps and she is collecting welfare under each of her names. Her tax-free cash income alone is over $150,000."

Now Reagan never gave the Welfare Queen a face, but he didn't need to. From the 1970s onwards, women became the leading face of poverty. The media's image of poverty also shifted from focusing on the difficulty of Appalachian farmers and the factory closings in the 1960s to images of poor residents in urban areas. By 1973, in magazine pictures depicting welfare recipients, 75% featured African Americans even though African Americans made up only 35% of welfare recipients and only 12.8% of the US population.

Then on August 8, 1974, Linda Taylor filed a police report claiming that she had been robbed of $14,000 in "cash, jewelry, and furs". Chicago Detective Jack Sherwin, who took the report, recognized her from a similar, previous report and suspected her of insurance fraud. Upon investigating her, Sherwin discovered Taylor was wanted on welfare fraud charges in Michigan  Reporting on welfare fraud began during the early 1960s, appearing in general-interest magazines such as Readers Digest but this "interest" now had a real face.

Linda Taylor was born around 1926 in Summit, Alabama, under the name Martha Louise White. She denied being her. According to United States Census records she also could've been Martha Miller, born in Tennessee sometime between 1925 and 1927 to Joe and Lidy Miller. In either case, she was identified as being White, with a possible percentage of Native American ancestry. Throughout her life, she presented herself as being of various racial and ethnic identities, including Black, Asian, Hispanic, and Jewish. She represented herself as being of many different ages, too. 

One government official stated in 1974 that "it appears she can be any age she wishes, from the early 20s to the early 50s". She was arrested at the end of August 1974 for possible extradition to Michigan. Released on bond, she fled the state and was a fugitive until October 9, 1974, when she was caught in Tucson, Arizona. She was ultimately charged with committing $8,000 in fraud and having four aliases. She was convicted of illegally having 23 welfare checks using two identities She was sentenced to two to six years in prison. During the same decade, Taylor was additionally investigated for murder, kidnapping, and baby trafficking. Taylor died of a heart attack on April 18, 2002, at Ingalls Memorial Hospital outside Chicago Her remains were cremated.

Thank to Linda Taylor's fraudulent dealings & "unknown" racial makeup and the media coverage of poverty, our narrated lessons on welfare & food stamps have been passed down for at least 40+ years. But it is not the only story that has to be told. I have covered a few politicians, chefs, and actors doing the Food Stamp Challenge, HERE & HERE. And though it's easy for me to be judgmentally weirded out by someone using their benefits on an $80 cake & disturbingly laugh at somebody being able to use their SNAP card to get a lap dance, I would rather hear about the affluent try to understand by taking the Food Stamp Challenge. I would rather go to a farmer's market and see a family trying to feed their kids fresher foods than hear the "trendy" compare apples to oranges. I rather see the addresses & schedules of those markets and places providing fresh food education to the impoverished on my social media timelines instead of the faces of welfare fraud. Eating healthy is not a rich person's privilege. No one can teach me that and I refuse to pass on that lesson. I want to pass on awareness.

Ok, I heard the concerns & requests. You guys like a food recipe when you learn. Request Granted!!! Since I mentioned farmer's & fresh produce markets a lot in this post, I will share with you something I tell All my clients. "When in doubt, make a Salad". There is a salad for every occasion. A Garden Salad is gluten-free, salt-free, fat-free, dairy free & best of all inexpensive (LoL Thought I was going to say, Free.). So, here is a recipe for the basic garden salad.

Basic Garden Salad
Ingredients
• 2 tomatoes (diced)
• 1 onion (diced)
• 1 cucumber (sliced)
• 1⁄2 head lettuce (such as iceberg, romaine) (cut up)
Directions
1. Combine all ingredients and serve.

I promise to have recipes in all Food-It-All posts from this one forward.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Man Please, I'm Tired

This is probably should be called How Outspoken_Diva Will Never Get a Date Again or Why ALL the Men Boycott Outspoken_Diva. LoL But I am tired of every crappy male opinion about women. We need one another to survive but you trample us every chance you get. So, let me air out some grievances,  

I'm Tired of 77=100 Because it doesn't. No matter what stats you put on our plate on why, I'm not ingesting that crap. Equal Pay for Equal work. And I won't be fooled by "Period Leave". That's another way to hide behind not paying women what they are worth.

I get tired of the complaints & insults just because a woman bring up the topic of equality

Is Chivalry is dead is the question, but somehow the answer leads the problem of independent women. I'm tired of guys passing the blame and not owning up to their part. Open the door for a lady. Offer a standing lady a seat. Walk on the open side. Ring or Knock the door for a date. And stop worrying about if she will be upset if you "patronized" her.

I'm tired of No not meaning No. I was never taught another meaning for that word. I read an interesting article about Consent on The Root. If THIS doesn't help you...

I'm tired of Overly Conscious N-word yelling Bed Wench for every black woman's decision that doesn't line up to their views. Like the Queen never thinks without the King. Like a Queen can't still be a Queen without a King.

And where were they when Charles McKinney shot a lady because she rejected him. I tired of you guys preaching about all the injustices done to you but not teaching your brothers how not do wrong to others

Street Harassment & Cat Calling, You know I am passed tired. It's more than a hello. Say Baby & Psst is not a greeting. Down grab my arm to get my attention. Don't follow me to wear me down into speaking to you. Let me be just be rude when you speak.

I'm tired of being told the "Dress How You Want to be Addressed" but my male counterpart is rarely told to "Keep His Hands & Eyes to Himself at All Times".

My body is not a Feeling & Touching toy no matter how I'm dressed. Because a woman can be covered up and still have a stray hand touch bottom. No cleavage can be showing and breast are still being ogled at. 

How Tired I am, I needed Kelly Price for the soundtrack

Another celebrity who fell for the "Reality" trope at one time

I'm tired of some of these male self-help authors writing books for ladies but have yet to write a book for men. I can "Act Like Lady & Think Like a Man" but what is the dude I dating suppose to do. I get it the numbers say women read more than men. The stats didn't say Men don't read at all. Oh you can have a show called "It's Not You, It's Men", but when will you have a show for men to learn, It's Them? Wait that means you must admit, It's you, too. And he Just Not be Into Me but let him know I just may not be into him also. The dating reaction coin works the same for both genders.

Oh and "Good Guys", I'm tired of you too. A Good guy doesn't have to tell me he is one and then get upset that I am not interested in him. You getting upset actually flaws your good status. It is not always about a woman wanting a "Bad" boy. Ever had the thought that you are just not the "Good" guy for me.  All levels of attraction must be mutual.

Oh and Church men, I'm tired that I can be your bible study, Sunday school, children's church, ect., teacher when you were a little "boy". (Look around and find how few males are teaching children in church) Oh, but you have a problem with me teaching you as a man. Some of your pulpits won't allow a woman to be a minister, pastor or bishop. Women are are only allowed to speak to some of the main bodies on 5th Sunday for Mission or Women's Sunday.

I'm also tired that it is taught that ladies can't sit on the front row because it will distract the preacher. But the preacher is not taught not to sit in the "Baby, Come & Get It" stance in the pulpit. If he was hid behind the cross like he was supposed to be, he wouldn't be distracted.

Oh and most of the women in the church are not after the preacher or the new single man at church. I tired of that stereotype. I got a feeling a fed-up lonely, dateless usher started that. He told the stereotypical gay dude before the start of Men's bible class and it spread like wildfire. Now, that usher is long dead leaving a late in life wife, some foster kids, and that rumor here on this Earth.

And since I mentioned a gay man. Gay men, time to sip a cup a tea, because I'm tired of you guys, too. You are not the end all to be all when it comes to fashion. I don't need you to tell me how to dress to catch a heterosexual man. You guys don't feel the urgent need to help straight brethren to catch my straight butt. Clearly not because, who pairs polka dots and stripes and calls it edgy. I dress for me and if a man likes that, Great. Either give me a compliment or don't. Because truth be told your very fashion uncomfortable tips, didn't land me a man either.

And this love for the Sassy Female trope is Very tired. She is a negative caricature. I don't care if Mr "Reality TV", Andy Cohen promotes on his "reality" full of overbold women telling it like it is and keepin' it real all the time. Women's lives are never 100% domineering moments that demand us to shoot from the hip.

And and this tired euphemism of things feminine you guys use, Fish. It is past time for you to stop the using fish in that manner. You have been told repeatedly how offensive. We are not synonyms for what men like yourself imagine as our “dirty smelly” reproductive systems. We are every bit as fully human as you.

Oh and heterosexual men donning on wigs doing skits let's address you. Some folks (male & female, hetero & homo sexual) think you need to just come out the closet. I'm not going to touch that opinion. That's not my opinion. But I see some of your passive aggressive way to express your complaints the stereotypical behavior of baby mama's, trailer trash, ratchet, & chola chicks, & church girls through the vehicle of comedy. Comedy is subjective but you guys need some new material. A few are cute but many are overkill. Stop hiding behind a wig to make your points. And get a lady to do the role.

Nerds, you are not exempt. I get pop culture's normalization nerdom is now tainting the waters. But to tell ladies to prove they are nerdy is sexist.

And I'm tired of you fanboys dictating to me what is acceptable nerd culture & who can celebrate. As a marginalized group, it behooves me that you would tell a lady who has the same interests as you, that she is a fake.

Well now, I am exhausted. I probably have barely scratched this topic. But I had to LOVE you guys enough to tell you that you are hurting me. And yes, I know "Not All Men". Well, not All Women are not the stuff you a tired of us doing. Comments are open, of course. No Mansplaining, though. No one is slow. And only the guilty and hard of understanding would do that tired mess anyway. Alright, I love you, guys!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Child, the Sassy Black Woman (I Blame Pop Culture)

Disclaimer: No particle of air was grabbed or neck muscle worked in the writing of this blog.

Now, I told the Sassy Black Woman I was coming for her neck. I think this myth, the Fat Motherly/Jolly Black Woman and the All Fashion/Beauty Knowing Gay Man actually make me an Angry Black Woman. I should LoL at that but yeah, I won't. I hate those myths!!! Fat Motherly/Jolly Black Woman myth might as well get ready for me to pop their balloon one day.

I am an educated black woman. I read a news magazines & professional journals monthly. I engage myself in the news daily. On paper I look like this.

Thanks to pop culture though even with all that I do, in the eyes of mainstream America I still look like this.
That is one of the images put in front of everyone, Ms. Sassy & Strong. Somebody may have read my description of myself and envisioned me with pursed lips, moving my neck around in a circle and waving my finger or hand grabbing air.

Though I have can, and do act like that at times that is not how I talk all the time. Very few black women do. I was buddies with a few black women that I never saw work their neck at anytime I was in college.

Don't let reality show conversation and black pop icons like Sandra Clark fool you into think there are no such people like nerdy black women, awkward black girls like Issa Rae,

or happy & demure black women, (which amazing enough I Googled that and got shoe pictures. See what I am saying.) And don't let shows like this "Girlfriends Intervention" (didn't get Not one Nielsen rating point out of me) make you think this is the way one acts so she can be a strong, confident, & Alpha-like woman no matter what race she is.

The Sassy Black woman is a caricature like the Angry & Strong Black women.

Caricature means a picture, description, or imitation of a person or thing in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect. The synonyms are cartoon, parody, satire, lampoon, a mimic. I don't like people thinking that all I am is a satire to be made fun of. Thinking that I act like the lyrics of a Jay-Z song

I got this black chick that don't know how to act 

She's always talking out her neck, making her fingers snap 

She says, "Listen, Jiggaman, I don't care if you rap 

You better R-E-S-P-E-C-T me"

— Jay-Z, "Girls, Girls, Girls"

all the time is Not cool. We all should to wave their finger in the face of Pop Culture and it's definition of the Sassy Black woman. That can be done by showing more images of black women acting as non-caricatures but as human as everyone else.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Compliments that are Not Compliments

Have you ever heard and/or said any of these statements?

·         Your looks are so Exotic.

·         You don’t act like Regular black people.

·         That dark skin girl is so Pretty.

·         Oh you are so Cool, for a white guy.

·         Many ugly people are the sweetest people on earth

I know you meant well but those and many others are Not Compliments. Just like good intentions pave the road to hell, they hurt people’s feelings too. Some are them are backhanded. Most are based on stereotypes.

I got to college and was never told “I was very articulate” until then. As a lifelong code switcher, I've known how to rotate speaking slang & grammatical English depending on my audience. This particular day, I was in College Speech 1301 and I gave my first assigned speech that made the teacher “clutch her pearls” in delight. I thought in my mind, “Well I made an A on that one”. Then the professor said, “You are so well-spoken. Good Job!” My face fell from proud to confused. The three other black students looked at me with an “I understand” look as I went to my seat. After class one of the guys we called Rev. Eric (he was a minister) asked me, “You never had anyone say that to you”. I told him “No”. He said, “Welcome to a New Day”. We laughed. I knew what he was talking about. The statement wasn’t shocked that she said it. It shocked me that she said it to me.  It reminded me of the book “Vernon Can Read” by Vernon Jordan. I love how people believe a stereotype so strongly that they never see that they limit their mental & social understanding gravely.

I didn't meet my mother’s work bestie in person until she retired a few years ago. I was so used to being told by so many strangers that I was “So pretty to be so heavy”, I didn’t know how to receive a real compliment when I heard one. My mother came in and said, “Janie said you are so pretty”. Now, I was expecting her to finish and say “To be so heavy” and how my mother went smack off on her. Sad, society and its insincere compliments had me on the defense. That’s why I really want this crop top. That is such a powerful message. Not pretty or handsome for a “whatever” person. Either one you think a person is Pretty or Handsome or you don’t.

So if the compliment you give has a two-faced handle included with it or is based on a clichéd belief, don’t say it. We all have said them. I know I had it bad to say “Oh, he smells nice for a guy from the Middle East” in college. That was very rude of me and I am very mindful of what I say for compliments. I should have said, “That guy smells nice”. Nothing more and nothing less.

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

"I Blame Pop Culture" (New Blog Series Announcement)

If you follow me on Twitter, Here, you already know how hard I am on Pop Culture. Pop Culture has defined everything in our lives and all of its definitions are not positive. I am sick of it and this blog series is me taking a stand.

When I say Pop Culture, I'm not talking just what is "Trending". Thanks to Wikipedia, Popular Culture is the entirety of ideas, perspectives, attitudes, memes, images, and other phenomena that are within the mainstream of a given culture, especially Western culture of the early to mid 20th century and the emerging global mainstream of the late 20th and early 21st century. Heavily influenced by mass media, this collection of ideas permeates the everyday lives of the society.  So basically, Pop Culture consists of the attitudes, customs, and beliefs that distinguishes one group of people from another that is appealing to the general public.

This will be an ongoing series. I'll spread my discussions out and not put them all out all at once. Topics will include:
American Dieting
Being Christian
College
Masculine/Feminine
Not Really a Nerd
Not Black Enough
Sex Tape to Relevancy
Rape Culture
Reality Shows
Romance/Dating
and many more. Also I will prepare you for me stating "I'm no hypocrite because I am Hypocrite". Pop Culture has made a one out of all of us. So while I'm discussing my issues with Pop Culture, I'll have to reveal how I was caught up in the hype of some of it also. Hey, I'm no hypocrite because I am Hypocrite. LoL

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Problem with the Queens' Slanguage

There is no secret I hang out with a few gay people. I hang out with anyone who seems fun to hang out with and I can learn from. Okay I'm beating around a bush. The best way to say this is to use the show “Will and Grace.” There are two gay men on the show, Will and Jack. I don't prefer not hang out with the "Jacks" in life. They say things and have actions that bother me. Not the stereotypical flitting around, snapping fingers, and switching that is seems to be a synonymous. I mean taking offensive language and acting as though it is okay. I mean the "they are the end all to be all" attitude. It bothers me. I don't hang out with heterosexuals that behave this way and I will not hang out with homosexuals that do it as well. What you think you are celebrating is Very Insulting. Your celebration is based on stereotypes.

I would love to blame Perez Hilton for this blog. “Inside every gay man is a fierce Black woman!” Then after getting school about offensive language by Black Twitter, he in turn said got upset and compared Black women to Hitler. Yeah, he didn't get it but do we expect a person whose claim to fame is to gossip and out people to get it.  I would love to blame Woman who like Men who like Men for this blog. They should tell them “Umm not Cool” at some point. I can't blame RuPaul’s Drag Race for this blog. I love the show but this past episode, Season 6 premiere, made me want to throw a shoe towards a few contestants. Let’s another one say “Fish” or any of its types or “Okaaay”, one more time. The blame lies with me and anyone else who feels this way, for not saying something long time ago. We knew it bothered us and instead of avoiding the problem, it is the inferno that it is. Let me start with my Top 5 issues.

5.    All dowdy dressing Women, no let me say people, do not need a Fairy Gay-Mother to teach them to dress. They need someone to who has fashion understanding to help them. Your sexuality does not qualify to tell someone how to dress.

4.    All Plus Size women are not to be compared to other Plus Size Divas, especially the ones that can Saaang. (This goes for Churchy and wanna be Churchy people also (Tamela Mann, who seems like she is a nice lady, is not my cousin. )). I just stop giving Martha Wash side eye because in high school, there was a man I did my dietary intern with that said I reminded him of the “Classic Disco Diva” every day. All I did was make food trays and wash dishes. I wore scrubs like them and if I got a break, I was doing my homework. I can't even sing. It is not the compliment you think it is.

3.    All Plus Size and Dowdy women, heck women period, don’t make “Good Hags”.

We all are not “Sisters in the Discrimination Struggle”. That woman you have stereotyped maybe a homophobe. Meet her first before making her your next BFF based on a look and an action.

2.    “Fierce Black Woman” is not a compliment. It is a mythical stereotype that was produced by pop culture by its overuse in television (reality & scripted) and movies. She does not exist. She is a caricature. Perez Hilton, I’m sorry but a stereotype lives in you. All Black Women do not act like that all the time. Please don't let pop culture fool you.

1.     Using fish and all its variation to mean Feminine infuriates me. Referring to things that are feminine as fishy is gross. One does not need to be a rocket science to know where that comes from. That is nasty. Are you saying being feminine is revolting? Please stop that. Also Okaay or Umkaaay belong in the 90’s, leave it there.

This blog is No Tea, No Shade but something I hope people can learn from. People like to say words may or may not hurt but they can get you or your feelings hurt. It’s just like the F-word that cause all kinds of controversy surrounding Isaiah Washington & T.R. Knight of Grey’s Anatomy fame. I didn't know that word was offensive until then. I grew up thinking it was cuss word but not thinking it was as unpleasant as the n-word for Black people. This blog is to get those who have these attitudes, thoughts and use these words and phrases to know it is not okay. A homosexual man reading the beginning probably didn’t like me calling folks “Jacks”. If that offends anyone, I do apologize. The gay men I know will tell you they have to fill in the blanks or give me definitions when I express my frustration with this topic. God is working on me and I hope he is working on you too.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms