To Drink or Not to Drink, Why is this even a question?

There are many things that are socially acceptable that I don't understand. I've tried to wrap my mind around them but yeah that is a fail. There is one I feel needs to be addressed.

I Do Not understand people who have to alcohol at all social events. They can not have a good time unless they can a beverage containing liquor. All of these people I will not call Alcoholics. Some I think do have drinking problems. Some don't drink unless it is at a social event.

I didn't recognize the issue until I started watching a show called Four Weddings (4 brides judge each other's weddings for a grand prize honeymoon) on the TLC network. I love the show. There were two episodes that stood out. One were the reception was a breakfast and one of the other brides was upset that mimosas were not served and she deducted points. Another episode all three of brides at a competitor's wedding complained about the temperance event. Luckily for them there was a family member of the bride who had a little something; something in a flask that she shared with the table she called it "Hunch Punch". A couple of the brides also deducted points because they didn't have alcohol. I was appalled.

Then my mother told me about a cousin's wedding she attended and his in-laws cousins took the food to go and left once they found out there wasn't any liquor. Oh and they bad mouthed the family for that. I had never heard of people who get upset because a wedding is temperance event. I've been to more non-alcoholic weddings than alcoholic weddings. That is unreal to me.

So that caused me to think about other social events that didn't have alcohol at them. Most college parties I attended on campus were non-alcoholic events.

Then I thought about a former friend that would be bored at the parties if he didn't drink before we got there. Then that brought me to now, I have a bestie who has friends that don't seem to ever party sober. They don't understand a two drink limit. The friend set that kind of limit for them self and the friends were upset because they drinking way more. They even said, "We don't like you sober". My bestie stuck to the set limit. I see there are few people I know & know of like this. Is the Type of Partying they want to do something they can't truly enjoy without a drink? Are their lives that tightly wound that they can't relax without Brother Booze?

I guess my true problem is the irate complaints by those that want/need booze about the lack of booze. Yes, I socially drink. I don't have to drink at every social event. I can dance hard, laugh hard, and celebrate love hard with and without Brother Booze. Many people do it. Unless they are Alcoholics, which is a major problem, they should learn to have fun sober. All events will not have alcohol. Rude to expect that. Even ruder to complain about it. If NOT, leave those who are alone. Sit your "want to be" drunk self in a corner and be quiet. We'll have fun our way.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Black, Female with a Degree that will still Date Black Males without Degrees

I know that title for this blog sounds like a dating site profile description but after reading a Blog on Black Girl Nerds and watching a  Vlog by Tijuana Jackson (Please read and watch them Very good pieces) I think direct was the best approach.  Dang, that is like the longest sentence I have written. I am going to have to work on that. Well my mind is buzzing with my thoughts. So I had to get this out.

I think I am one of the few Black College Educated women that has never dated outside her race. (Here the  Blog to explain that) and not looking for my version of Jay-Z (Self Educated, Former Hustler, Business man in the day Street Cred Homie in the night).  And Yes, I date Black men who do not have a college degree. It is preferred but not a required. Everybody can't go to college. Everyone is not college material. There is nothing wrong for me to date a UPS man, a janitor, a bank teller, a butcher, a plumber, etc. Those are very legal, morally acceptable (that is required) and needed professions that don't required degrees. There are some nice men that work in those professions. Just like there are some jerks that have college degrees that I won't date. So to dismiss a man because of a professional status is not something I do.

With that said I will Not date ANY Man that thinks being STUPID, UNEDUCATED & DUMB is cool or acceptable.  I do NOT date AIMLESS men. The ones that think reading material is the back of the cereal box. The guys who like to "Convasate" and not "Converse". I don't care what your profession is one should want to strive higher in that field. If you are a low pay diner Cook, I hope you're striving to be a Sous Chef, then Chef, and then maybe write a cookbook or two or whatever. No one should want to stay low on the totem pole forever. I want a man with not just dreams but a man that is striving as hard as he can to achieve them. One maybe a truck driver and one day one may want to own a trucking business. What is one doing to bring that forth?

But the reality is many men who are Aimless, Stupid, Uneducated, Dumb and PROUD of IT are in the professions that do not required anything passed a diploma or GED. A sadder reality is that many are Black. They are other races also but I 'm talking about the Black guys. Even though it is a sad partial truth it is not whole truth. There are Black men in those fields who read books, go to workshops, and who are well versed & eclectic to converse with. Black women who want to date these kind of men have knock out the undesirable and see that these men because they are there. I've dated a few of them. So, I know they are out there.

As Always Talking to you in Adult Terms

What's on my Mouth? (Lip Product Blog)

Okay the answer to the "Answering Eye Shadow Allergy Questions" blog question is B. All were at home but A was right before bed, B was fresh from the Salon, and C was fresh from the salon but I was so sleepy that morning I did good to make it to the salon let alone put my "dry face" look on. *smile*

I didn't wear eye shadow until Senior Prom. Lipstick got an early appearance in 7th grade. I was sneaking it on at school. Two days after my uncle died I was caught. I forgot to scrub it off last period and tried to get it off on the 15 minute bus ride home. Well his widow saw my lips and loudly announce it. My mother said "Oh, you want to wear lipstick? Okay!" (Trust me had my family and I not been grieving I don't think it would have gone over that well). She only let me wear Riiid (bright red) & Paink (bright pink) until 10th grade. I have the school pictures to prove it. Then I added brown and gold. Finally one day in college I look and had every color but black, yellow, & green (I don't like those lip colors). My lips have been white, blue, color blocked, silver just like they have been gold, red, brown, & pink. If my lips were like hair, they would have broke off from color damage.

Before you ask my basic look for my lips includes a vitamin E stick or a medicated lip balm, a clear lip liner (I like Mary Kay & Cover Girl) and a clear or sparkle lip gloss.

Makeup Confession: I am ADDICTED to glitter & sparkling lip gloss.

I blame the Makeup companies. If they only put it in little girls lip gloss then... The older I get, I try to cut back on the sparkle gloss purchases. I won't be a senior citizen still looking like I still shop in the Lip Smackers section in the store.

My little arsenal of lipstick, lipglosses & lip balms
(well what's not in my purse)

The bag all my lip products are stored by color in zipper bags

Let me see some advice on Lips

1. Find your perfect shade of every Lip color out there. I think everyone can where all the colors, we just choose not to. Sometime because we don't know & are scared to find out what looks good on us.

2. Lip Balms & Vitamin E sticks are inexpensive moisturizers. Use them.  It makes no sense to have chap lips with all kinds of free with purchase or $.99 lip protection are out there.

3. Learn the difference between Eyeliner & Lip liner. I am sick of women putting black & brown Eyeliners around their lips. Eyeliners dry out your lips. Lip liners moisturize them. Find darker colors of lip liners to use. They are out. Many times near the eyeliner.

4. Bold lip Lighter eyes and Bold eyes Lighter lip Not Bold eyes & lips. Your face will be overpowered with too much color. I'll say it that way instead of saying "You will look like a Clown"

Okay that's all I will say about color on my lips & eyes. Hopefully what I do help someone out there.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

When The Screen Door Shatters

Ok, it can't be a secret that Outspoken_Diva is a Christian.  It shouldn’t be. If you know me (birth name) on Facebook you know I end most times I speak on there with a “nice” quote. It’s my way of saying goodbye for the time being.  And sometimes events in my life give a message to tell. Well, Monday gave me a nice one to share.

After dinner we locked up the house for the evening and some how a small rock hit our screen door. This has been our screen door almost 45 years. All my life I heard "Don't slam that door, the glass will break" or "Watch how you handle that door".  Then someone would check the door for warps or a slight crack in the or around the glass. On Easter I even told my cousin's friend the latter statement.  All these years of slams and a rock shatters the top glass. Crazy part is the glass didn't fall out until we went to tap the opening latch before we took our brooms to push the glass out onto the porch.

Ironic that is how we live life. We are slammed by life tribulations day by day. Then something that seems so minute finally hurt our hearts, feeling, and souls. And finally someone slightly touches us trying to help, we just fall apart. Like we sometime didn't listen to the warning about bang our screen door, the miseries of life can hit us with some heavy blows. We have to sometime get some maintenance on our emotions to make sure we are not too warped not to be able to withstand small pebbles throw at us also.

Who would have thought screen doors could help us out with life? Well, we're getting a new door by the week's end. And we will be careful with that one also. Another door to usher in new messages into our lives. Can't wait to see what it teaches us.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Answering Eye Shadow Allergy Questions

Okay I am "face naked" most days. I only wear makeup for church and social occasions.  l got a few questions after my Eye shadow Allergy blog. So I'm answering them here.

Is that clear mascara?

Yes, that is Clear Mascara. The brand is Maybelline. Clear mascara is designed to tame, shape and gives a slightly darker (wet) look to your natural lashes.  It's also good for shaping your eyebrows. I like clear because it matches all looks and it is easier to clean off my lashes.

What do you suggest as a basic look for the eyes?

My basic look is eyeliner (black or brown), clear mascara, and eye shadow primer (it helps your eye shadow last longer but can give your lids a hint of color). It goes from day to night. A Simple look  that can't go wrong.

Make up confession: I'm never totally face naked unless I'm at home. I never leave my house without Brown Eyeliner (unless the look requires Black or Blue). I've worn it since senior year in high school. It defines my eyes without being noticed with my peanut butter skin color.

A

B

C

Can you tell which picture I have brown eye liner on? A B or C The Answer will be in the next blog. Good Luck!

 Where do you find eye shadow advice? Are there any how-to websites out there?

Makeup looks are everywhere. I first used to follow the Mary Kay sample  that they have at Mary Kay parties in college. Then I found a brand is called Urban Decay and they have a great Steal Our Look section on their website. Now thanks to YouTube makeup advice is everywhere. From makeup brand to vloggers, YouTube is full of makeup tips; all you have to do is a search. I personally like Beat Face Honey (She's a makeup artist. She does Brandy's Makeup) and iCRAiZ (She's a fashion & beauty vlogger. I liked the way she did her nude lips with drugstore products). Hover over their names to get to their pages. And good ol' see someone's look and ask. Sounds goofy but it works. People will share tips with you after a nice compliment.

Okay, Hope I answered your questions. Now I'm inspired to do a lip color blog. Stay tuned!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

It's Just a No

You are out and about and someone approaches because they are physically attractive to you. They ask you out and for your contact information. You decline. Then this person, who just expressed flattery for you, is now spewing insults because you reject them.

I'll never understand man-kind's reaction to someone's rejection. I've seen it happen among every country, culture, race, the poor, rich and socioeconomics in between. I think insults are bad but there many times a rejecter’s actions can be hurtful and even worse with violence like rape or murder.

Dang it's just a No. What is wrong with a No? Everyone is not supposed to like you. That should have been taught in elementary school. No one’s ego should be so fragile. Accept that No and go on with life. Life is full of No's why act like a vile brat because someone does not want to be "booed" up with you. *sigh* I should even have to complain about this but...

You can't get what you want. Learn that. Live it.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Eye Shadow Allergy

Running late, I had to put on my makeup in a car. The person I'm riding with was amazed on how I did my eye makeup. She had never seen Eye Shadow Pencils. So this blog is for her and anyone interested in traditional eye shadow alternates.

Traditional eye shadow actually gives me a headache that equal sinus or migraine. My eyes and talc have issues together. I don't know why. It took me few years and to many headaches to actually notice the link. Well when the silver line on the eye lids was very popular, I bought a Jumbo NYX pencil (yeah that it's replacement) at a local beauty supply store. Going out one night I did that look and noticed I didn't have a headache. Light bulb went off and I started buying pencils in the shades I wear the most.

Then I heard about eye shadow cheat sheets from Avon. The eye shadow came on tissue sheets already in the pattern you want. You pressed the sheet on your eye lid for a minute. Viola! Eye shadow done. I Loved those. But the story of my life "The stuff I really like or love, gets cancelled". But while they were in clearance section I stocked up. If you like animal prints Hard Candy has Eye Tattoos. Never tried them myself but if you do let me know. I know Avon SHOULD bring back In a Wink Eye Shadow Sheets. I liked them.



My eyes with In a Wink Sheets (I miss that hairstyle)



My eyes with Jumbo Pencils (what happen when I wait)





All of my Jumbo Pencils are inexpensive. I think Sephora is the most expensive. I'm graduating to gels & higher price pencils like Urban Decay, one day. I have some $$ in lip & face products but not eye. Hmm, Interesting. Some people use the pencils like an eye primer.  But since I was tired of taking pain relief just to wear eye makeup I'll wear it as a shadow.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms