My Rom Com Love Life (Bridesmaid Edition)

Hey guys! Yes, I'm home from Wedding World.

The wedding was great. Intellectual Diva made a beautiful bride. She married a dapper dude that we've officially welcomed into the UTA clique. Oh, and I made a Beautiful bridesmaid. And as good as I looked I still had to get a lesson I must add to my Rom Com Love Life files. If you didn't know about my Rom Com Love life, go read THIS and come back.

I learned the jerks in movies that looked to hook up during a wedding do exist. I mean like the guys in the movie Wedding Crashers.

Yep, I seemed to be the prey. But did I fall for the trap?

This is not my first time being a bridesmaid. I was at the weddings of  Bestie Boo & Pink Red.

I had a crush on Bestie Boo's brother and he is now married to the woman he brought as a date.

I was attracted to the groomsmen that I walked in with at a Pink Red wedding. He was attracted to me. We talked on the phone for a while but we were not compatible and that was that.

But the guy at this recent wedding was different. I have to say had I never decided to be nice and make small talk I probably would not have been the prey.

Ok met Ridge* on the shuttle to the venue. He was loud & cranky. Plus his partying rep preceded him. Ok at the venue, his name along with mine & most of the groomsmen was a part of some "Name Shade" from the Wedding Planner. I think my attitude was written on my face. Well, when we were paired up with the groomsmen, the groomsmen gave me a nickname to diffuse the situation.

On the ride back to the hotel, he was still talking too much. Well, he pointed out WhatABurger and was raving about how good it was. And I opened my mouth & said: "Oh, I forget you guys aren't from here". And it was a flirty ride after that. SMH

Ok after the shuttle back, Bestie Boo & I did the errands the mother of the bride asked us to run before the BBQ. Got back and I was going to the elevator and here comes Ridge from the pool.

     He asked, "Are you going to help dry me off"?

     I replied "No, nature is doing a great job"
 
     "Oh, that was cold". Where did you guys go?"

     "Ran some errands for the bride's mom"
 
      "Oh cool. Duty Calls"

      The elevator gets to his floor & he says, "532"*

      I said, "Ok" But thought "No, it's just after 3." Then it hit me before I got to my floor, he was calling out his room number. SMH

After that, I didn't come in contact with Ridge until after the ceremony. I walked in with another groomsman. Well, after the grandparent’s candles were lit they moved them behind him & me. So, he & I joked about not getting burned. Then once in the foyer, we high-fived each other for not getting burned. LoL On the way to the bridal dressing suite, I felt hands on my neck & back.

I heard "Alright for not getting burned". It was Ridge.

I removed his hands and said "Stop, Drop & Roll" and went on.

Alright, reception time, since I was 1st in line, I had time to get some Advil for another groomsman, & me and my "dancing shoes".

So, I was taking my foot pic and here he comes with a flirty foot comment. So, after we ate we were grouping up discussing & taking "Met Them" pics and he gets close and said, "We can do more than that tonight if you want". The cameras are then flashing. Smile & Pose for the frame. I didn't get to take pics with the others because we hit the dance floor.

So, Bestie Boo & I were leaving the hotel. Most of our guests & the bride's aunts were still there having breakfast. So, we are waving bye, Everybody stops and he is still waving and pouting.

      I said "Bye Ridge"

Now if he was for real, he would've seen that I was waiting for Bestie Boo to bring the car around so I was in the foyer for a moment. He would've come talk to me & seen me off.

And if I thought I was through with Ridge... My fellow bridesmaid & college friend, Macy* texts me saying "Your boy was looking for you. He said nobody ever came to 532". I texted back what happened when we left.

     She said, "I thought a**holes like that only existed in the movies".

     I said "Me too. But lessons learned. Jerks are real."

Oh well, lesson learned. And as you see I didn't fall into his "easy to see" snare. You don't get this old and not know a thing or two. Maybe he thought I was dumb & country. Maybe he thought I was some desperate chunky bridesmaid. Who knows? Who Cares? Oh well, his bad!!!

Makes me wonder if this entertainment phenomenon is real, will my future husband have a Hangover plot on his way down the aisle??? Lord, let that not be in your will. LoL

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

*Names & Room Numbers have been changed*

Update (10/8/2015):
Oh, we are FBF, now. But that was just in case the headquarters pictures I am in. You will be surprised the pictures & videos still popping up. Just got a video via email from the groom that he had just received.

Oh, this is for you who didn't read between the lines. #GetOutMyInbox No, I never went to Ridge's room. We were tired!!! It was after 2:30 am before I even took a shower. Plus, let's tell the truth. I was nothing but Wedding A-word to him. Oh and the obvious, that weekend was about my friend marrying her love. 

Ghetto Wedding!!! (Y'all are Mean. :-D)

I am a former wedding crasher. Yes, I have crashed some weddings to be nosy & messy. *sigh* You've never been to wedding until you hear the gospel version All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo or see a wedding singer go rogue and makeup a song on the spot. And none of them started on time. I have a lifetime of laughs & memories. Until I can crash the weddings of celebrities, dignitaries or members of royalty, I will not be returning to the game. Time to crash up!!!  During that time, I became a staunch believer that people are going to have their weddings their way and that is okay. Once I saw this video circulate the interwebs (yes, bad slang) this week, my belief was tested and tried. Yet I still believe that  people are going to have their weddings their way and that is okay. Why? Because they still got married.

• The bride looks like a throwback to Thelma Fry in the series, Amen
  
• The groom has on a polo shirt and jeans
• The wedding venue is the courtyard of what looks to be public housing
• The minister is rather hilarious in his recitation of the 23 Psalms and during the vows & ring exchange
• The minister is also the wedding singer

It doesn't matter. This couple got married. Let's look at what didn't happen that is common at "better" weddings.

• No crying children walking down the aisle
• No inappropriate music being played
• The nuptial started on time (How do I know? Nobody is complaining about it)
• No fear that ex-lovers will interrupt the ceremony
• The temperature must be pleasant (No one is complaining about it)
• No guests arrived late (No grumblings from the audience)

Hey, I might have enjoyed this wedding. It had none of my top complaints about weddings, so I could have crashed this one. Oh I still would have had a few giggles at the minister like I have while watching this video. I hope a notary public is in the courtyard, just in case. But my lawn chair & I could have attended.

Not all weddings are everyone's style. People look at me funny at my " Alcohol-Free Happy Hour Style" reception idea. It will have a mashed potato martini bar,

 fruit kabobs,

mock-tails,

 line dancing,
and of course cake.

All the components at a happy hour event, I like without the liquor. Wedding will start at 4pm by 5pm the reception can start, by 8:30, 9pm everyone would have had a good time and went home and my husband and I can go and be married. That's what I want. My style is not for someone else. I am not a fan of drunk activities (fighting, vomiting, etc.). Can't party without booze, this will not be the event for you.  The wedding above is what that couple wanted. Thelma Fry reboot is married and I am not so, maybe she is onto something.

And that is the thing. They are married, point blank. They will always have their memories. Years later they might be sitting in their home maybe a mansion they can actually say to the children & grandchildren "We started from the courtyard but now we are here. Thanks to this viral video, they have proof. 

Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Rom Com Love Life

The best way to describe my dating life is a Long Running Rom Com Series. I came that conclusion after being in a club convinced by a close male friend that a guy’s eyes were glistening for me. I get on the dance floor with said friend and put my Best Moves down. Sat down, dude approached me and said “Why isn't you friend looking back at me”. And this “Will & Grace” moment was when I started to notice my dating life for what it was. I can’t stand Daft Punk’s “One More Time” after that event. My Best moves! My best Moves! My Best Moves! Wasted!

Added to the plot line, I am actually friends with some (not all. That’s not normal) of my ex’s. One ex is considered one of my best friends now. If we break up and I (and only I) say we can be friends, I mean it.

I got the wedding invitation of an ex (we grew up in the same church that’s how met. Dated well over a decade ago) turned friend the day before we rushed Momma to ER. Mentally, I picked out my outfit and was going to call Pal (Yeah he’s finer than the friend. Can’t drag BFF’s or my sister to all the weddings. Now that I think about it this particular ex escorted me to another ex’s wedding over a decade ago too. Wow, Patterns) to go, That Day. Then Life happened and I forgot. Heck, I forgot to gossip to my friends that he was getting married until after the fact.

I knew he was in a serious relationship. My sister first  saw her at a funeral. This time last year he ask for my opinion about some earrings for her. I finally saw her at his Dad's funeral this summer. I hated, I miss the nuptials.  I'll save the outfit for the next wedding or funeral I must attend at Foundation church.

I was telling my friend, Pink Red about it. (The conversation was the inspiration of this Blog) She was shocked (overstatement) I was invited. I was not. My love life gets invited to uncomfortable situations all the time. I usually pass with A’s or High B’s. Voluntarily bringing others along for the ride is what gets me B’s. Being single for so long, I think it has given me time to think. If we are friends now, then We. Are. Friends. Now. No need to not be in their corner for whoever they date or decide to marry, because I’m not dating them. And they better be in my corner when I get married. I’ll need them as ushers and somebody will have to walk my down the aisle. I’m fatherless (Yes, I am laughing through those last statements).

So here is are some questions. Are you real friends with any ex’s? Would they invite you to their wedding? Would you invite them to your wedding? Leave a comment below.

 

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms.

To Drink or Not to Drink, Why is this even a question?

There are many things that are socially acceptable that I don't understand. I've tried to wrap my mind around them but yeah that is a fail. There is one I feel needs to be addressed.

I Do Not understand people who have to alcohol at all social events. They can not have a good time unless they can a beverage containing liquor. All of these people I will not call Alcoholics. Some I think do have drinking problems. Some don't drink unless it is at a social event.

I didn't recognize the issue until I started watching a show called Four Weddings (4 brides judge each other's weddings for a grand prize honeymoon) on the TLC network. I love the show. There were two episodes that stood out. One were the reception was a breakfast and one of the other brides was upset that mimosas were not served and she deducted points. Another episode all three of brides at a competitor's wedding complained about the temperance event. Luckily for them there was a family member of the bride who had a little something; something in a flask that she shared with the table she called it "Hunch Punch". A couple of the brides also deducted points because they didn't have alcohol. I was appalled.

Then my mother told me about a cousin's wedding she attended and his in-laws cousins took the food to go and left once they found out there wasn't any liquor. Oh and they bad mouthed the family for that. I had never heard of people who get upset because a wedding is temperance event. I've been to more non-alcoholic weddings than alcoholic weddings. That is unreal to me.

So that caused me to think about other social events that didn't have alcohol at them. Most college parties I attended on campus were non-alcoholic events.

Then I thought about a former friend that would be bored at the parties if he didn't drink before we got there. Then that brought me to now, I have a bestie who has friends that don't seem to ever party sober. They don't understand a two drink limit. The friend set that kind of limit for them self and the friends were upset because they drinking way more. They even said, "We don't like you sober". My bestie stuck to the set limit. I see there are few people I know & know of like this. Is the Type of Partying they want to do something they can't truly enjoy without a drink? Are their lives that tightly wound that they can't relax without Brother Booze?

I guess my true problem is the irate complaints by those that want/need booze about the lack of booze. Yes, I socially drink. I don't have to drink at every social event. I can dance hard, laugh hard, and celebrate love hard with and without Brother Booze. Many people do it. Unless they are Alcoholics, which is a major problem, they should learn to have fun sober. All events will not have alcohol. Rude to expect that. Even ruder to complain about it. If NOT, leave those who are alone. Sit your "want to be" drunk self in a corner and be quiet. We'll have fun our way.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms