When the Things You Do Speak For You (October Awareness)

Death came by the Pink & Purple Love sides of my world. It took me a most of this month to type this post. One reason is because these deaths were actually personal & close to my loved ones & me.

The other is because both deaths made me react on both ends of the grief spectrum. It something I had to process. It was wild, I couldn't think of one bad thing for one and one good thing for another. I've never felt that way about people I know when they die.

Yeah, the purple side was the person I couldn't find anything good about this person. This person was an abusive perpetrator but I didn't know that for a long time. I didn't know that when the victim left the relationship, years later.

So when this person died, I felt a tinge of guilt for ragging on them when I got the news (pray for me). So, I decided to think on the good things about them. I know other people who were/are abusive and I seen them do some good. The only thing I could think of was this person's laugh. They laughed like the cartoon dog, Muttley and my cousin, DD & I (ages 6 & 8) determine that was weird & crazy, a long time ago. So, I waited until after the person's services & learned it was a quiet & short affair of mostly family. I did learn that person taught someone I know how to fish. Fishing is Very relaxing to the person I know. I decided to take that point and let that be that person's good. In the end, it between their God and them anyway.

The person on the pink side didn't passed away from breast cancer. This person is the one who first to introduce part of my world to Breast Cancer Awareness.

This person brought info, drives, seminars and screenings (other diseases also) to my world. Breast Cancer Awareness was just something others did until this person presented to us. This month, a few programs have been dedicated to the memory of this person. I saw photos of the event. People were styled & smiled in their pink. The fight may have lost a solider but their work still lives on.

The song featured was play at the funeral of the person on the pink side. I was thinking about the lyrics and we all should incoporate them to our lives. If we took the time to think about what the things we do actually spoke for us, we wouldn't do most of the stuff we do. When we are resting in our graves, would you want people to think long about your goodness or your goodness outshine everything that could be said?

Well, it's time for me do something that will speak for me. I have on purple & pink and hopefully that speaks volumes.

As Always Talking To You In Adult Terms

All I Can Tell You Guys Is...

Don't Boo, Vote!!!

Have a vision? Make the right decision! Vote!

You can’t complain if you don’t VOTE!

Vote: It’s your right

Go Vote! Go Vote!! Got Vote!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Hgh School Crushes, Would You Date Them As Adults?

I swear I watch a lot of shows that make me happy I am older. Black & Sexy TV has a show, Hello Cupid Reboot that does this very thing. The premise of the show includes two best friends (Baron & Derick) from high school, an unrequited high school crush (Mo), a dating app (Hello Cupid) & a bet.

Oh & the backdrop is a few days, maybe weeks before a 10 year high school reunion. Yep, the shenanigans are hilarious.

But the part that best friends don't know that we, the Black & Sexy TV fans know is their high school crush as an adult has a high strung attitude when she gets mad. We've seen her go off on her last boyfriend on a previous show called Chef Julian Since midway episode one, I've been waiting on her to go off. Heck, I would and I think I am much more level headed than Mo.

But the show got me to thinking, would anyone really want to date their high school crushes as adults.

Look at those roller prints

Changing Faces Inspired

Most people change at least a little bit as they get older. One of the very reasons why, I probably wouldn't date anyone I had a crush on in high school, they aren't the same. They changed. We all did, I hope. I did. I don't wear foam rollers to bed every night. I did in high school. Thanks to Facebook telling me I might know people, I think most of my crushes are married. Only 2, that I know of are single.

I didn't know those people

And they aren't "my type", now. One is now Muslim. Yeah, that an easy no. I'm a Christian. And the other guy, I've seen at an event in the recent past. He was very unnecessarily dismissive. He wedged himself in a conversation and the only thing he said to me was to smugly justify his intrusion. He wasn't rude high school. Well, I didn't think he was.

That is another thing to realize about crushes, the perceived fantasy. How many of our high school crushes were based off of known non-physical personality facts? My guess is very little.

Yep, I believed the movies
LoL

The guy who is Muslim now, was so cute to me. A classmate of mine told him I liked him and he came and introduced himself to me during lunch. He so was nice & courteous to me when in each other's presence. But one day I sat and thought over an incident where his buds jokingly told him I was a few table near at lunch, he didn't stop them.

Actually, he kind of snickered at some of the jeers. Then later on he saw me and pleasantly spoke. I, like a dumb butt in lust greeted him back. He was just being cordial but for some naïve reason I heard a R&B love ballad. His reaction with buds became a lesson later in life. And trust me, unrequited crushes teach you lessons for a lifetime.

Matter of fact, finding out a few of my crushes thought I was "too much of a good girl", "ugh" or "my buddy, here" was a lifesaver. Back then phrases like those stung my feelings or confused me.

My Favorite School Picture

Now, I feel like a guy saying I'm "too much of a good girl" means he didn't want to do a lot of work to get in between my legs. And that's alright. That "diss" was protection from heartbreak, teen pregnancy, STDs, & a reputation I didn't need & want. And I thank God for giving me the mind not to show that guy how "wrong" he was, but one to move forward & later learn from those moments. Moments that help me handle life as an adult now. *sigh* Isn't it good wisdom is not wasted on the young.

Maybe two of the characters are still stuck in the fantasy of their high school crush. Oh but I will have my popcorn ready for when the adult truth hits. Oh high school crushes, may they forever stay the pure imagine of love & light, we thought we wanted.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Probably The Most Expensive French Fries Ever

This food news is not a my business but I am talking about it any way. I was listening to The Black Geeks podcast and this story came up. I had to find some articles(Here & Here) because what I heard was so unbelievable. 

Most Expensive French Fries' On Sale For $12.99

On the night of Sept. 7, an allegedly drunk woman in the Washington D.C restaurant, Italian Kitchen on U Street took three French fries from a plate that weren't hers. The person she stole from was a uniformed police officer. She took 2 fries and the officer didn't like that. He told her not to do that again. She was stealing from his plate. She then took another French fry and the officer arrested her. She has been charged with 2nd degree theft. Theft of property in the 2nd degree in some places is a Class C felony. In DC, when property stolen used or obtained has some measurable value, punishable by fines not more $1,000 or imprisoned for not exceeding 180 days, or both.

$3.49 could possibly turn into all of that. I hope not. Actually I doubt it will. But it could.

But the this story also bring out an occurrence that is common but we rarely talking about it until it is happening to us. "Keep your hands in your plate". "Get off of my plate".  People who help themselves to the food your plates are weird. It's bad manners to say the least. It's also a problem with being over familiar or comfortable with others. I know a few of people who complain that their spouses do that. I was watching, maybe a web show where a girlfriend purposely order something different so her boyfriend & she could "share" but the guy didn't see it that way. She waited for him to leave the table for a moment and took a bite too many. And yes, he noticed. I can't even imagine a stranger eating off my plate. I understand the police officer's frustration. If the laws fully gave the residents to do seize offenders, Citizen's Arrests would increase with a comical percentage of people apprehending those stealing off of other's food plates.

So, let's just make a great habit Not to Eat Off of Other's Plates. Whether you are sober or inebriated, leave other's food alone. It could cost you. And trust me that small bite is not worth the trouble. Just Ask!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Southern USA 1 - Disney & Cooking Panda 0

It is a part of my profession to keep up with food news & trends. I have never heard a Frank Ocean tune but I know about a whopperito. I'll listen to Frank Ocean before I ever eat a whopperito but I know what it is. It's my job & this week my job made my Southern mind itch. Disney & Cooking Panda's take on Southern classics were the comical irritants. It is okay for them to be inspired by the classics but Never call a thing a thing if it's not that thing.

When you wish upon the Southern star, make sure you never mess up the gumbo. Poor Disney! They tried to debut a healthy "gumbo" to the masses and failed big time.

Tiana maybe a one of their princesses now but nobody is going to let Disney disrespect gumbo. Clearly they didn't consult Leah Chase on this recipe like they did for the movie, The Princess & the Frog. It didn't have a roux. Adding flour & oil in the middle of the recipe is not a roux. That's just thickens the dish. It had quinoa it. My grandfather, who didn't like rice ate gumbo over mashed potatoes.

Quinoa is still a grain & looks better than mashed potatoes. I could deal with that. But the adding of the kale was the true slap in the face. Disney erased the recipe before it gave a reason for adding kale. My guesses are 1) Another vegetable benefit, 2) To make it thicker without the roux calories 3) Just wanting to be different.

Gumbo is already full of amazing vegetables & fruits like okra, tomatoes, & peppers that kale was not needed. Also, there are ways to make a roux that is less in calories than the traditional recipe. I hope Disney is going back to the drawing board on making a healthy gumbo. I don't understand how they fail at modifying it, hey have a gumbo on their menu at one their restaurants in Disneyland. I do have a few suggestions.

• Use canola oil instead of butter with the flour to make a roux
• Instead of andouille sausage use smoked turkey or chicken or smoked paprika for that "rich smoky" taste. Also that lowers the sodium in the recipe
• Use shrimp stock, vegetable stock, or water instead of chicken stock. Sometimes meat stocks still contain small amounts of fat that weren't fully removed

Disney didn't have to erase their recipe. I know gumbo is derived from the West African word kingombo meaning okra. I know of an old Southern Lima Bean & Okra soup recipe that has survived with slapping a gumbo name on it. I feel calling it a gumbo inspired stew or soup may have been more appropriate. Disney, keep the recipe but ditch the name.

I've seen & eaten a few variations of sweet potato pie in my life. I've seen the potatoes sliced like apples instead of mashing them. Sarah Lee & Pappadeux have products & dishes that combine it with pecan pie that people like.

Then there is  the recipe that Cooking Panda has on their Facebook page. At the end of it the video, the recipe is called "Stuffed Sweet Potato Pie". Maybe if they had lead with the name, I might have not been so freaked out about the recipe.

Though my mind would've thought a "Stuffed Sweet Potato Pie would've looked like a "Sweet Potato Pocket", the blow might have been lessened. The first thing noticeable about this pie recipe was the missing of seasonings. September 1st, everybody but me celebrated the beginning of  Pumpkin Pie Spice time.

The only thing I put pumpkin pie spice in is sweet potato pie. It's a money saver. But you at least put cinnamon & nutmeg in sweet potato pie along with the sugar, milk, & butter (that are in the recipe). But that was not the weird thing about the recipe. They put half the filling in the crust then put parmesan cheese on top of that layer before topping it off with the other half of the potato filling.

Yes, I said parmesan cheese. I am still confused. Maybe Cooking Panda should change the name & idea of this being a pie to a quiche. It's cooked in a spring form pan (makes cheesecakes, flourless cakes & quiches) so, it could be could a quiche. That's what Cooking Panda made a Sweet Potato Quiche!

America is a melting pot. Yes, I know. But it is important that we know the proper names of it's ingredients. Non-Southerners, its like calling every apple organic, even though many of them have be treated with chemicals. I guess recipes like these should be expected. This is the land where Basic Cornbread Dressing is still thought to be Innovative version of Thanksgiving stuffing in magazines & websites. The South may never "Rise Again" but All Southerners will Rise to protect the integrity of it's recipes.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Weaknesses (But I LOVE Them)

We all like a few things excessively. And those likes get us in trouble sometimes. They can hit our pockets, space, time, & heart hard.

Bookshelf Goals

Books So, in December be prepared to find out how I saved money on books this year. LoL If you ever come inside my bedroom you will see my book weakness. My book shelf is filled so, my dresser contains four neat stacks of books that I like. There are also two boxes set aside for books that I dislike and I can reach in and give away for book drives. My new Kindle, I got for Christmas is already at 85% capacity. I do plan to erase all the free cookbooks that I never use. I always say people will pay for what they want. Apparently, I want books.

Black men that speak grammatical English As I type this section I am actually listening to my YouTube crush(Not Telling), who is one of these guys. I date a lot of code switchers. I'm one and I like dating myself. Some women love a slang talking thugs. In my offline world, guys of all races who speak 75% slang come a dime a dozen. But I have a thing for guys who "speak proper" or "are so articulate". The best examples of these kind of men are black news anchors & Wayne Brady(And you know how I feel about Wayne Brady #bestillmyheart). It's not that I diss guys that speak slang all the time. It just that listening to guys who talk like they paid attention to 80% of Language Arts or English class in school is sexy. A guy who mumbles can still be a good guy. I just wish he enunciated, that's all. And the guy who speaks the King's English can still be a jerk. And that's the downfall. I clearly understand if he is saying crap. Then I feel like I wasted my time lusting after him speaking to me. Grammar doesn't indicate personality. Personality does count higher than speech. But yeah, it's safe to say my dream guy is probably a code switcher

Dress Clothes (Especially Dress Suits) In a world where casual wear is becoming the norm, I actually love dressing up. I have since I was a child. I own two pairs of jeans but I have no clue how many dressy items I own. The ratio to dressy skirts to casual skirts in my wardrobe is 5:2. Nothing screams being "dressed up" like dress suits. I wore a lot of them in high school. Yes, I went to school some days in suits. "Oh it's Tuesday, let me wear my blue & white peplum suit. I remember searching for prom dresses and I saw a formal suit in the JC Penny bridal catalog (telling my age) and I wore it to prom.

My life long suit goal is a cape suit. That goes back to childhood also. Remember the cape outfit Phillis Nefler wore during the cookie fashion show in Troop Beverly Hills, I do. I got close to owning one. I was in college, shopping at a discount boutique. It was pink & brown and it was calling my name. It was an $800 suit marked down to $230. I was working as bookshelver in the school's library making minimum wage. So, I saved to get that suit. It was gone by that time. I just bought another suit. Now, capes are making a resurgence in the fashion world. Yes, all the styles I want are in the higher price ranges but I see some cute ones in my price range too. I Shall Own a Cape Suit!!!

Clutch Purses Yes this summer, I was walking into the rooms, Purse First. In D.C., one lady gave me an approving head nod when I entered a party. It's like Bob, the Drag gave me my own "walking with my clutch" anthem. I just make sure I keep up with mine. Clutch purses are another weakness that stems from childhood. My mother had an everyday purse (a black leather for the cooler seasons & and straw bag for the warmer seasons) and several clutch purses in black, blue, & taupe for Sundays. I knew when I got older I was going to carry those.

My bestie, TT got me that one

Forgot to take
the removable straps off

That day came when I finally felt I was too old to put my money in one side of my bra and my keys safety pinned to the other side when going out on the town. I cut the straps off a free with purchase purse and had a clutch purse. My collection of clutch purse is nice. Some people have even called me to borrow purse because they know I might have the right one. My friends know if they need a gift idea for me, always go with a clutch(or a book gift card). I've even given them as gifts. Why walk around at an event with your bulky everyday purse getting in the way. Just carry the basics in your clutch and enjoy yourself.

Pink Lip Color It shocks me when that I even still wear pink lip color. My mother only bought me pink & red lipstick until I was a senior in high school.

I started wearing lip stick at 12. I didn't wipe it off well on the bus ride home. My uncle's widow called me out as I entered the house. My mother looked at me and asked "Do you want to wear lipstick". I said "Yes" and I got to wear it. I remember it well because my uncle (mother's brother) died the evening before. I knew my mother's grief allowed me to wear lipstick. Grief's spell could only hold so long so, I played by her unspoken "rules" of color purchase. She laughs when I tell her my preteen fear, now. It does sound rather comical. I own a lot of pink lip colors. I looked at the other colors in my Caboodle and it out ranks them all. Purples were what made my pink weakness really stand out. I own one purple lipstick, one purple lip liner, & one purple gloss.

I own pink, fuchsia, mauve, rose, pale pink in lipstick, gloss, & liner forms. One of the liners broke while I was preparing for this post. And that picture is just what's in my Caboodle. There's probably some pink emergency colors in my everyday bag. I guess my lips Think Pink.

So, those are my top 5 weaknesses. Do I want you guys to leave yours in the comments? I sure do! What are they? I wanna know.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Oh SNAP!!! (Food Know-It-All)

Everyone's attitude about the food stamp program, SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) can stink. It offers nutrition assistance to millions of eligible, low-income individuals and families and provides economic benefits to communities.

No matter whether a person is on them or not the shameful stigma looms. Even though it helps feed 1:8 adults & 1:4 children, too many of them think the use of SNAP is a confession of failure. In my opinion, it is because of how we are all educated about the program.  Those that are on it are not properly educated on how to use their stamps. Those that are not on them are educated with biased information based on stereotypes.

Lawmakers love to argue to abolish the SNAP program. They use cases like these articles Tax dollars withdrawn at liquor stores, strip clubs, or Steak and lobster? Not with food stamps, says lawmaker. The media put out mug shots of the various people who misuse the system. Oh and let us not forget the documentaries of food deserts that are within impoverished areas.

Have you ever seen a sign like this? It is probably because you were shopping at or passing by one. Can you tell me if you know anyone who is on SNAP who shops at a farmer's market? Have you ever asked somebody on SNAP if they knew they could shop at fresh produce markets? I have. The answer I got was nobody says it but the addresses are in the info pack they received when they get on the program. It's like there is money in basic informing, misinformation, & fear but none in the education of the program. But how did it happen?

Let me introduce you to the "Welfare Queen" story. The term "welfare queen" became a catchphrase during the political dialogue of the 1980s and 1990s. The most well-known person to use this moniker was Ronald Reagan.

Starting with his 1976 presidential campaign, Reagan gave America a sunny "Morning in America" optimism, but the "Welfare Queen," an infamous character description "There's a woman in Chicago," Reagan said, according to an article in the now-defunct Washington Star. "She has 80 names, 30 addresses, 12 Social Security cards. ... She's got Medicaid, getting food stamps and she is collecting welfare under each of her names. Her tax-free cash income alone is over $150,000."

Now Reagan never gave the Welfare Queen a face, but he didn't need to. From the 1970s onwards, women became the leading face of poverty. The media's image of poverty also shifted from focusing on the difficulty of Appalachian farmers and the factory closings in the 1960s to images of poor residents in urban areas. By 1973, in magazine pictures depicting welfare recipients, 75% featured African Americans even though African Americans made up only 35% of welfare recipients and only 12.8% of the US population.

Then on August 8, 1974, Linda Taylor filed a police report claiming that she had been robbed of $14,000 in "cash, jewelry, and furs". Chicago Detective Jack Sherwin, who took the report, recognized her from a similar, previous report and suspected her of insurance fraud. Upon investigating her, Sherwin discovered Taylor was wanted on welfare fraud charges in Michigan  Reporting on welfare fraud began during the early 1960s, appearing in general-interest magazines such as Readers Digest but this "interest" now had a real face.

Linda Taylor was born around 1926 in Summit, Alabama, under the name Martha Louise White. She denied being her. According to United States Census records she also could've been Martha Miller, born in Tennessee sometime between 1925 and 1927 to Joe and Lidy Miller. In either case, she was identified as being White, with a possible percentage of Native American ancestry. Throughout her life, she presented herself as being of various racial and ethnic identities, including Black, Asian, Hispanic, and Jewish. She represented herself as being of many different ages, too. 

One government official stated in 1974 that "it appears she can be any age she wishes, from the early 20s to the early 50s". She was arrested at the end of August 1974 for possible extradition to Michigan. Released on bond, she fled the state and was a fugitive until October 9, 1974, when she was caught in Tucson, Arizona. She was ultimately charged with committing $8,000 in fraud and having four aliases. She was convicted of illegally having 23 welfare checks using two identities She was sentenced to two to six years in prison. During the same decade, Taylor was additionally investigated for murder, kidnapping, and baby trafficking. Taylor died of a heart attack on April 18, 2002, at Ingalls Memorial Hospital outside Chicago Her remains were cremated.

Thank to Linda Taylor's fraudulent dealings & "unknown" racial makeup and the media coverage of poverty, our narrated lessons on welfare & food stamps have been passed down for at least 40+ years. But it is not the only story that has to be told. I have covered a few politicians, chefs, and actors doing the Food Stamp Challenge, HERE & HERE. And though it's easy for me to be judgmentally weirded out by someone using their benefits on an $80 cake & disturbingly laugh at somebody being able to use their SNAP card to get a lap dance, I would rather hear about the affluent try to understand by taking the Food Stamp Challenge. I would rather go to a farmer's market and see a family trying to feed their kids fresher foods than hear the "trendy" compare apples to oranges. I rather see the addresses & schedules of those markets and places providing fresh food education to the impoverished on my social media timelines instead of the faces of welfare fraud. Eating healthy is not a rich person's privilege. No one can teach me that and I refuse to pass on that lesson. I want to pass on awareness.

Ok, I heard the concerns & requests. You guys like a food recipe when you learn. Request Granted!!! Since I mentioned farmer's & fresh produce markets a lot in this post, I will share with you something I tell All my clients. "When in doubt, make a Salad". There is a salad for every occasion. A Garden Salad is gluten-free, salt-free, fat-free, dairy free & best of all inexpensive (LoL Thought I was going to say, Free.). So, here is a recipe for the basic garden salad.

Basic Garden Salad
Ingredients
• 2 tomatoes (diced)
• 1 onion (diced)
• 1 cucumber (sliced)
• 1⁄2 head lettuce (such as iceberg, romaine) (cut up)
Directions
1. Combine all ingredients and serve.

I promise to have recipes in all Food-It-All posts from this one forward.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms