My Rom Com Love Life

The best way to describe my dating life is a Long Running Rom Com Series. I came that conclusion after being in a club convinced by a close male friend that a guy’s eyes were glistening for me. I get on the dance floor with said friend and put my Best Moves down. Sat down, dude approached me and said “Why isn't you friend looking back at me”. And this “Will & Grace” moment was when I started to notice my dating life for what it was. I can’t stand Daft Punk’s “One More Time” after that event. My Best moves! My best Moves! My Best Moves! Wasted!

Added to the plot line, I am actually friends with some (not all. That’s not normal) of my ex’s. One ex is considered one of my best friends now. If we break up and I (and only I) say we can be friends, I mean it.

I got the wedding invitation of an ex (we grew up in the same church that’s how met. Dated well over a decade ago) turned friend the day before we rushed Momma to ER. Mentally, I picked out my outfit and was going to call Pal (Yeah he’s finer than the friend. Can’t drag BFF’s or my sister to all the weddings. Now that I think about it this particular ex escorted me to another ex’s wedding over a decade ago too. Wow, Patterns) to go, That Day. Then Life happened and I forgot. Heck, I forgot to gossip to my friends that he was getting married until after the fact.

I knew he was in a serious relationship. My sister first  saw her at a funeral. This time last year he ask for my opinion about some earrings for her. I finally saw her at his Dad's funeral this summer. I hated, I miss the nuptials.  I'll save the outfit for the next wedding or funeral I must attend at Foundation church.

I was telling my friend, Pink Red about it. (The conversation was the inspiration of this Blog) She was shocked (overstatement) I was invited. I was not. My love life gets invited to uncomfortable situations all the time. I usually pass with A’s or High B’s. Voluntarily bringing others along for the ride is what gets me B’s. Being single for so long, I think it has given me time to think. If we are friends now, then We. Are. Friends. Now. No need to not be in their corner for whoever they date or decide to marry, because I’m not dating them. And they better be in my corner when I get married. I’ll need them as ushers and somebody will have to walk my down the aisle. I’m fatherless (Yes, I am laughing through those last statements).

So here is are some questions. Are you real friends with any ex’s? Would they invite you to their wedding? Would you invite them to your wedding? Leave a comment below.

 

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms.

What is in a Blog Name? (If You Write It…They Will Want to Gossip)

WoW, my most read blog posts are the ones I gave controversial titles and scold people for coming to it to gain gossip from it just because of its title.  I didn’t realize it until I got an email (not a comment a cowardly email) from a reader (I actually know this person offline) who told me 
“If you don’t people to be nosey don’t give your blogs the names you give them. You can’t be mad just because of people just trying to get the tea. That’s mean!” 
That reader can do me a favor and stop reading my blog forever.

I’m used to attitudes like this. I grew up in a place where my family is known. (Not the whole city but our little community, jobs, schools, & churches) Not powerful but known. The picture non-family members and non-friends paint of us is a conservative, goodie-goodie, law-abiding, bougie, well-to-do, nice people with a few loud rabble-rousers we keep in line sometime. Of course, that is not the total picture of us. Some of that is not even in our real picture.  And of course, I’m not thought to be one of the rabble-rousers. I grew up with people who had expectations for me made based on who they thought I was all my life. I love breaking those expectations based on thoughts and opinions and not facts about me. Since I was not thought to be one of those family rabble-rousers I lived my life in the open but since they were looking at the rabble-rousers, I could go unnoticed. Then when they would actually look over and see me doing what the rabble-rousers were doing, the fingers and tongues go to wagging. 

Then they would have to deal with another part of me. The “Tell You Off” part of me. Back when I was a teenager that might have included insults and profane language. Now I handle it with a little bit more finesse. Either way, I don’t mind telling people to stop boxing me in based on their self-made expectations, opinions, or experiences of or with me. Then don’t think that they can find anything that disqualifies me from the box they put me in. I don’t mind at all.

I title my blogs my way and my way only. I’m just trying to be creative. And yes, Creativity has its critics. I just know that my blog will be read by many of those folks that box me in and then try to boot me out of that box. It's also read by my people who love me. It is also read by people who truly want to get to know me and know how I think. I shared this blog on my emails & Facebook page that is Not under the name of OUTSPOKEN_DIVA but my real name.

So, I am aware that somebody with a gossipy spirit will think they got the Tea, Cocoa, and Coffee on me. There are just some people that just won’t accept what you see is what you get. See me for Facts that I Am and not your Opinion I am more than likely Not!

Sexuality Questions is the highest read. Folks want to see if I'm coming out of a closet I've never been in. LMBO But  My Favorite Holiday get no love. I guess it's not Interesting enough!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It’s Halloween and I Don’t Like Horror Films (Confession Time)

 

It’s the time of the year where I cling to my personal DVD collection. I watch them because any movie on TV or shown at a party is usually a Horror film. I’ve never like Horror films & shows. They freak me out. Not while watching them most times, it the hour(s) after the movie that make scared. The last Horror movie I saw was “Skeleton Key” in 2006. I thought if I watched it at 9:30 am, maybe this would make me handle the movie better. NOPE!!! Doorbell rung, I jumped. Then I passed by a mirror and had to go back by because I swore I didn’t see my reflection. I decided that day not only put a parental lock on that movie title on my TV but never watch anything in the Horror Genre again. My emotions cannot handle it.

I know I will not get any sympathy. My friends are always saying I need to see the movie or show of the Horror Genre. Just this Monday night my friend BJ ask me was I watch American Horror Story: Coven.  I immediately said NO. Then he went into the usual “It not even scary. It’s funny this season”. Funny my butt. Voodoo is not funny. The bumps in the night is not funny. Things jump out and make me jump, scream, and having to calm my heart down is not funny.

So that me OUTSPOKEN_DIVA an adult scare of the Horror genre. Oh I’m not going to Haunted Houses either. I’m going to look at what scares me in the face. You’re are out of your mind. Praise God it is TV Thursday this Halloween. Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy (I know it will Halloween themed) and Scandal will give me entertainment this year.

OH! Happy Halloween!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

October Awareness Lip Ombre'

Yeah I got Very Cute for a Cause. October is Domestic Violence and Breast Cancer Awareness Month (A Blog I did in 2011). So I decided to paint my lips in honor of the month.

The Purple lip liner is for Domestic Violence Awareness

 & the Pink lipstick and gloss is for Breast Cancer Awareness.

I wear the ribbons and the colors all the time. This time I just decided to let my mouth show my message. Got some compliments so I got to tell the message behind my look. I even met a Ten-Year Breast Cancer Survivor that day in the grocery store also. We were slapping high-fives all around.
Maybe next year I'll have a matching eye makeup look also. Keyword is Maybe. *smiles* But before then let's be aware of these two issues not just in October but all year long.!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

A New Kind of Experience with My Mom

Past few weeks I have been singing, humming, and praying this song. My mother was sick. So sick that my sister & I have to take her to the hospital. So sick she was admitted to the hospital. That was this past Saturday. Two weeks ago, we thought she had a stomach virus. Boy, were we wrong. But she on the path of healing her stomach thank to the care of the kind staff, starting from ER to ICU to her short stint Med-Surg. Today, we brought her home. She happy to be in her bed. Heck, she was happy to walk to her bed.

Saturday was the scariest day for me. When it was my grandparents, I was usually the one to stay at the house to man the phones & take care of my brother (He has cerebral palsy and it severely mentally challenged). So actually being at the hospital to sign papers and having to be the one to tell everyone what the DR’s said that 1^st day was unreal. Yeah I took a tear moment after taking to my family & friends (heck they’re family too). Just saying what was wrong did me in. It was like at that moment, it all became real. Kevin Hart has a line in one of comedy DVD’s “Nooo, I’m not ready”. I was not!!! I knew this would happen maybe 10, 15 years in the future. But me at this age, signing papers But me at this age, discussing with my sister on what the Doctors are saying.  But me at this age, dispatching family member to do certain tasks. No, No, No not at this age. Yes, at this age. I finally stop feeling like it was just me doing this for my mom and remember it someone who has did and is doing these same tasks. I was not the first and won’t me the last. Grow Up!!! It is not about me.

One of my best friends, T.T. said it best, God is THE healer!!! Such a True sentence. I know he is going to continue to heal her and let his will be done. And I am not going to get in his way. It wouldn’t matter, it’s not lie he needs my permission. Alright my family is getting some rest and I am part of the family. *sleepy smile*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Bridezillas Gone Bye Bye

The Reality Show that started My Guilty Pleasure Show list has ended. Bridezillas showed their final episode. For ten years I have learn how to & how not to act as a bride. Trust me all of the brides showed were off the chain at some point.

Some were just acting crazy to be acting crazy. Some, In My Opinion, had a great reasons to act up. Like this bride, Haley.

 

 Bless her heart her In-Laws were crazy. They were a handful. They told her she was frumpy. They wanted her makeup on Her big day to be some over the top Stereotypical Italian New Jersey make over. Praise God, she had a makeup artist that listen to her and her only.  Some were total Bridezillas but maybe one time I could see how their behavior was justified for that moment. Like Porsha. 

The mother of her fiancé’s child had been heard saying she was coming to the wedding when we clearly was not invited. I understood Porsha calling her and telling what was what and just drop the kid off at grandmother’s house.  Hey I understand. No Unwanted Guests at the Wedding!!!

Bridezillas covered all kinds of brides. From the Trailer Fabulous (that is this lady here)

 

 the Pitiful  I felt so sorry for his coordinator. Only one bride decided to sue. Now it her defense

(Oh picking up trash at your wedding but your brother just came to get his party on), excessive criers, and even a Gayzillas. Oh he was over the top. I felt so sorry for his coordinator. I hope she took a Mental Vacation after that wedding.  Only one bride has reportley sued.

Julia Swinton-Williamson, was on the first season so she didn’t know she was going to be shown as a neurotic bride. Now anyone else on any season after the 1^st one should not sue. There was one couple that got tired of the cameras and put the Bridezillas crew out of their limo on the way to the wedding. 

So we never saw their wedding. I actually understood them also. You think you can perform for this circus and it became too much in the end.

The clip above is my favorite. Marsha & Archie ended up on Dr. Phil because of her Bridezillas antics. Marsha was just tired. She drove from Dallas to Little Rock every weekend. Her cell rang all the time with people asking questions. Now here it was Archie & she were on their way to the wedding rehearsal and someone called and ask where they were. Archie was her closest victim to get screamed at. He got screamed at and she left him in the car to calm down. His sister comes out and he was still crying. Sister put Marsha back in the car so they can drive and talk things out. Are they still together? Probably.  I just know it gave me the best line ever, “She Left Me! She left Me!”

Those are not the nastiest bridezillas, in my opinion. That honor goes to two women who still make me cringe just looking up their pictures. 

Mia Lee told the groom to find more money to spend & broke & smashed up decorations her mother worked on. She was so nasty, her sister in-law actually said “I Object” at the wedding.

 She was horrible. Then there was Frankie a*k*a Rae Rae. She bought a dress at the last minute online and got mad because her Paris made dress had not got there in time for the wedding. Her sister and she fought like they were not related. 

But the kicker was when she threatened to leave her reception before it began because her aunt told her not to play vulgar music in front children in the limo. Rae Rae was crazy! Both ladies I was convinced acted like this all the time. It was not the stress of the wedding. That was normal behavior.

I’m going to miss Bridezillas. I’ve been with it ten years. Just when you think they can’t find anyone to top the season before, Viola, a different kind of crazy shows up. I hope I don’t flip out like even a ¼ of that when I get married. No one should act a B-word  just to act a B-word just because they are getting married. That includes me, too. But I understand, when you need things done your way, maybe a little crazy is in need. Hey Just Do It My Way. That’s All!!!

Bye Bridezillas Bye!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Sexual Abuse Not A Male Rite of Passage

Just when I thought it was safe to watch enetertainment news, some foolishnees come across the screen. According to an interview he did in Germany, Chris Brown said he First had sex at the age of 8 years old with a 14 year old girl. I am not shocked at his admission. It could be a lie in an attempt to look cool. It could be the truth in an attempt to look cool. But it is not cool. An 8 year old having sex is not anything to be proud of. That is sexual abuse.

Eight year olds should be watching Disney & Nickelodeon not having sex. The fourteen year old should have been doing homework and preparing herself for her future not diddling with younger children. I saw a gossip blog post their opinion on Facebook and many people men and women felt that what Brown did was consensual. How does an eight year old consent to sex? Only in the minds of people who think it is ok for boys to be little boys would think that was consensual. Having sex does not make any male a man. If this was a Christina Brown saying the same thing, society would be up in arms about the situation. If Chris Brown said he first had sex with a 14 year old boy at 8 years old, the word sexual abuse would roll off everyone's mouths. But sexist, macho attitudes makes it hard to accept that even though it was a young girl older than Brown, he was still sexually abused.

I can't be shocked this is the same society that says "R' Kelly had sex with a young girl on a video tape" but still bounce their butts to his music before he was acquitted of the charges. This is the same society that takes decades to convict priest and ministers of molesting children. This is the same society that brag about knowing fathers that took there teen sons to prostitutes to experience their first times and yet they don't have a CPS case. Until society changes their attitudes, this will still not be seen as sexual abuse. It will continue to be thought of a Male Rite of Passage. And there will still be a bunch of sexed up children walking around confused about what is going on with their bodies and their emotions.

Poor Chris Brown. He's victim of sexual abuse. But thanks to society he's too ignorant to even know it.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms