Saturday, March 1, 2014

Time for March


March is Women's History Month so get ready for a few blogs featuring Woman Champions and also a “Help Me Understand”. Let’s just say this “Help Me Understand” has a love/hate relationship that I don’t get.

March is also National Nutrition Month.  We including me need to eat better. I’ve been using a Pinterest for my food diary. OMG it is so effective because I actually see that I eat crappy and I’m a Nutritional Consultant. We have to do better. 

National Reading Day is March 2. As an Avid reader I urge you to READ. Reading is so important. Too many people don't read. I believe Don't Read and Can't Read are the same thing. Either way you are Not reading!

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is March 10. Again it’s sad to me that there has to be any Awareness days ever but this one saddens me the most. Why? The stats that says women account for about 1 in 4 new HIV/AIDS cases in the United States. And of these newly infected women, about 2 in 3 are African-American. Everyone should frown. The fact that HIV/AIDS exist should make us frown.

March 10th is also my anniversary of me being “Radical”. If by now you don’t know what “Radical” for me is, shame on you. Go Read what it is Here. Not telling you the number, this the internet. March 10th is not the day I decided to go Radical. I have no clue what day that was. I was going through then so all the days ran together then. March 10th was the last day I was Not Radical. Why do I called it “Being Radical?”

1.  The method. There wasn’t one. I just did it.

2.   For some odd reason not doing it is strange, uncommon, weird, crazy, drastic, dramatic… Radical

Was I planning to make it to make it this long? NO!!! But some time in, I realized I could not just give it up all willy nilly. This was really part of my life.  Do I regret it? NO!!! I have gotten so much sleep since going Radical. Yes, I am laughing, too. Seriously, I have my days, weeks, and months that I think I went crazy. Then I think “No, Crazy was those years ago when you didn’t see the "Real" you when you looked in the mirror. Crazy was when I was crying all the time because I was connected to those that had unplugged from me and was too dumb not realize it. I think I'm a better person for it. So will "Radical" make it to next year? I don't know. I am human. God willing, YES!!!

So, that is the month of March. Go celebrate the ladies. Eat Better. Read, it Fundamental. Don’t have sex or at least Protect yourself having it. Those last statements seem so cliché. Oh well it gets my point across.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Thursday, February 27, 2014

My Problem with the Queens' Slanguage


There is no secret I hang out with a few gay people. I hang out with anyone who seems fun to hang out with and I can learn from. Okay I'm beating around a bush. The best way to say this is to use the show “Will and Grace.” There are two gay men on the show, Will and Jack. I don't prefer not hang out with the "Jacks" in life. They say things and have actions that bother me. Not the stereotypical flitting around, snapping fingers, and switching that is seems to be a synonymous. I mean taking offensive language and acting as though it is okay. I mean the "they are the end all to be all" attitude. It bothers me. I don't hang out with heterosexuals that behave this way and I will not hang out with homosexuals that do it as well. What you think you are celebrating is Very Insulting. Your celebration is based on stereotypes.


I would love to blame Perez Hilton for this blog. “Inside every gay man is a fierce Black woman!” Then after getting school about offensive language by Black Twitter, he in turn said got upset and compared Black women to Hitler. Yeah, he didn't get it but do we expect a person whose claim to fame is to gossip and out people to get it.  I would love to blame Woman who like Men who like Men for this blog. They should tell them “Umm not Cool” at some point. I can't blame RuPaul’s Drag Race for this blog. I love the show but this past episode, Season 6 premiere, made me want to throw a shoe towards a few contestants. Let’s another one say “Fish” or any of its types or “Okaaay”, one more time. The blame lies with me and anyone else who feels this way, for not saying something long time ago. We knew it bothered us and instead of avoiding the problem, it is the inferno that it is. Let me start with my Top 5 issues.


5.    All dowdy dressing Women, no let me say people, do not need a Fairy Gay-Mother to teach them to dress. They need someone to who has fashion understanding to help them. Your sexuality does not qualify to tell someone how to dress.


4.    All Plus Size women are not to be compared to other Plus Size Divas, especially the ones that can Saaang. (This goes for Churchy and wanna be Churchy people also (Tamela Mann, who seems like she is a nice lady, is not my cousin. )). I just stop giving Martha Wash side eye because in high school, there was a man I did my dietary intern with that said I reminded him of the “Classic Disco Diva” every day. All I did was make food trays and wash dishes. I wore scrubs like them and if I got a break, I was doing my homework. I can't even sing. It is not the compliment you think it is.


3.    All Plus Size and Dowdy women, heck women period, don’t make “Good Hags”.
We all are not “Sisters in the Discrimination Struggle”. That woman you have stereotyped maybe a homophobe. Meet her first before making her your next BFF based on a look and an action.


2.    “Fierce Black Woman” is not a compliment. It is a mythical stereotype that was produced by pop culture by its overuse in television (reality & scripted) and movies. She does not exist. She is a caricature. Perez Hilton, I’m sorry but a stereotype lives in you. All Black Women do not act like that all the time. Please don't let pop culture fool you.


1.     Using fish and all its variation to mean Feminine infuriates me. Referring to things that are feminine as fishy is gross. One does not need to be a rocket science to know where that comes from. That is nasty. Are you saying being feminine is revolting? Please stop that. Also Okaay or Umkaaay belong in the 90’s, leave it there.


This blog is No Tea, No Shade but something I hope people can learn from. People like to say words may or may not hurt but they can get you or your feelings hurt. It’s just like the F-word that cause all kinds of controversy surrounding Isaiah Washington & T.R. Knight of Grey’s Anatomy fame. I didn't know that word was offensive until then. I grew up thinking it was cuss word but not thinking it was as unpleasant as the n-word for Black people. This blog is to get those who have these attitudes, thoughts and use these words and phrases to know it is not okay. A homosexual man reading the beginning probably didn’t like me calling folks “Jacks”. If that offends anyone, I do apologize. The gay men I know will tell you they have to fill in the blanks or give me definitions when I express my frustration with this topic. God is working on me and I hope he is working on you too.


As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Black Cowboys Salute

Other than the fact that I am a Texan, I did learn a little bit about Black Cowboys growing. My cousin DD and I were in my late Great Uncle’s (grandfather’s brother-in-law) car after school discussing & laughing about the movie, Blazing Saddles. We learned quickly Cleavon Little’s portrayal of the sheriff made him upset. It was a “disgrace to the boots”. My great uncle grew in West Texas where he knew quite a few cowboys. His uncle was a Black Cowboy. So that began our occasional education about Black Cowboys. As I got older, away from my car education, I read some books about them and I’ve gone to a few Black rodeos.

The Buffalo Soldiers originally were members of the U.S. 10th Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army, formed on September 21, 1866, at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. This nickname was given to the "Negro Cavalry" by the Native American tribes they fought; the term eventually became synonymous with all of the African-American regiments formed in 1866. All of them didn’t stay in the service after the Civil War. Some did come West and served in the Army. Many of them settle West and became Cowboys.

The most famous of the Black Cowboys and Rodeo performers is Willie M. "Bill" Pickett also known as, Wild Bill Pickett. He left school in 5th grade to work as a ranch hand. He learned to ride horses and steer longhorns. He invented the technique of bulldogging, the skill of grabbing cattle by the horns and wrestling them to the ground. It was known among cattlemen that, with the help of a trained bulldog, a stray steer could be caught. Pickett figured if a Dog could do it, well he could too. Pickett's method for bulldogging was biting a cow on the lip and then falling backward. Soon he became known for his tricks and stunts at local fairs. The name of Bill Pickett soon became synonymous with successful Rodeos. He did his bull-dogging act, traveling about in Texas, Arizona, Wyoming, and Oklahoma. He then became a popular performer who toured around the world and appeared in early motion pictures. Pickett was shown in a movie created by Richard E. Norman. Pickett's ethnicity resulted in him not being able to appear at many rodeos. He often was forced to claim that he was of Comanche Indian heritage to perform. In 1921, he appeared in the films The Bull-Dogger and The Crimson Skull. In 1932, after he retired from the Wild West Shows, Bill Pickett was killed when he was kicked in the head by a wild bronco. In 1971, he was inducted into the National Rodeo Cowboy Hall of Fame. In 1989, years after being honored by the National Rodeo Hall of Fame, Pickett was inducted into the Pro-Rodeo Hall of Fame and Museum of the American Cowboy at Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Gang of Roses is not as fictional as it seems. There were Black women in the “Wild, Wild” West. Most known is Stage Coach Mary. Mary Fields was a slave in Tennessee. After the Civil War, she made her way out West. She was the first African-American woman employed as a mail carrier in the United States, and just the second American woman to work for the United States Postal Service. Before her job with the Post Office, she was freed before slavery was outlawed in 1865. First working in the home of a Florida judge then after the judge’s wife she took the children to their aunt, Mother Mary Amadeus, the mother superior of an Ursuline convent in Toledo, Ohio. In 1884, Mother Amadeus was sent to Montana Territory to establish a school for Native American girls at St. Peter's Mission. Fields stood 6 ft. tall and weighed about 200 lbs. liked to smoke cigars, and was once said to be as "black as a burnt-over prairie black." She usually had a pistol strapped under her apron and a jug of whiskey by her side The Native Americans called Fields "White Crow" because "she acts like a white woman but has black skin." Local whites did not know what to make of her. In 1894, after several complaints and an incident with a disgruntled male subordinate that involved gunplay, the bishop ordered her to leave the convent. With help of Mother Amadeus, she opened a restaurant. Fields would serve food to anyone, whether they could pay or not, and the restaurant went broke in about ten months. In 1895, she was hired as a mail carrier because she was the fastest applicant to hitch a team of six horses. She never missed a day, and her reliability earned her the nickname "Stagecoach." Mary Fields died of liver failure in 1914. In the 1976 TV documentary South by Northwest, "Homesteaders", Fields was played by Esther Rolle, in the 1996 TV movie The Cherokee Kid, Fields was played by Dawnn Lewis, and in the 2012 TV movie Hannah's Law she was played by Kimberly Elise.

Cowboys including Black Cowboys are not a thing of the past. They are featured in many rodeos across the country. A hot name to know is Jason Griffin. I learned about him during a #BlerdChat on Twitter a few weeks ago. You can read about him Here. You’ll also learn about an Augusta State University history professor named Michael Searles, who preserves Black Cowboy with a lecture that brings black cowboys to life. Even wears clothing of the cowboy.
So I salute the Black Cowboys. Modern cowboys and movies like Posse, Buck, and Preacher and I will keep would you and your way of life alive.  All your names may not be known but we know you lived.
As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

 

Monday, February 17, 2014

Black History Month Salute



Why am I saluting Black Month? Every year I see or hear a Black person in a complaining tone ask, “Why is Black History in the shortest month of the year?”. I annoyingly sigh and explain. The “man” is not the cause of all the decision of black folks. I decided to explain Black History Month in a blog post. I know there is someone reading this shocked that someone Black does not know why February is Black History Month. Good for being shocked but just like the other heroes and sheroes in Black History that are not taught and/or learned about. The History of the month celebrating it is not taught or learned also.

Carter G. Woodson is known as the Father of Black History Month. He with the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History announced the second week of February to be "Negro History Week.", in 1926. That week in February was chosen because it marked the birthday of both Abraham Lincoln (the President that sign the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves) and Frederick Douglass (a Great Black American social reformer, orator, writer and statesman). The purpose of the event was to place emphasis on the teachings of the history American Black in the public school system. The first year was lukewarm. Only the school systems to cooperate were the states North Carolina, Delaware, West Virginia and the cities of Baltimore & Washington DC.  At the time of Negro History Week's launch Woodson contended that the teaching of black history was essential to ensure the physical and intellectual survival of the race within broader society:

"If a race has no history, it has no worthwhile tradition, it becomes a negligible factor in the thought of the world, and it stands in danger of being exterminated. The American Indian left no continuous record. He did not appreciate the value of tradition; and where is he today? The Hebrew keenly appreciated the value of tradition, as is attested by the Bible itself. In spite of worldwide persecution, therefore, he is a great factor in our civilization.”

Three years after Negro History Week was started, The Journal of Negro History commented on two officials with the State Departments of Educations of "every state with considerable Negro population" had made the event known to that state's teachers and distributed official literature associated with the event.". Churches were also (still are) instrumental in the awareness of Negro History Week. Soon enthusiastic response grew because of the efforts of the afore mentioned, other black organizations and progressive White interests and support. Negro History Week grew in popularity throughout the following decades, with mayors across the United States endorsing it as a holiday.

Black History Month was first proposed by The Black United Students at Kent State University in February of the year 1969. In the following year, the first celebration of Black History Month began. Six years later, as part of the United States Bicentennial, the informal expansion of Negro History Week to Black History Month was officially recognized by the U.S. government. President Gerald Ford spoke in regards to this, urging Americans to "seize the opportunity to honor the too-often neglected accomplishments of black Americans in every area of endeavor throughout our history."

Now that is the history of Black History Month. In researching my facts, I found out the USA is not the only country that celebrates it. Canada celebrates it in February, starting in 1995 and being unanimously officially approved by its Senate in 2008. The UK started celebrating 1987, in the month of October.

The video above is my nephew at his church miming this past Sunday. They were civil rights protestors. He is the third solo part with the faux hawk hair. Yes, I’m a proud aunt. Not only did he do a good job, All of the children were great. I also know that he is learning a little about his cultural history in church like his mom and I did as children.

One more Black History Salute to end the month. Figured out what happened to the Buffalo Soldiers yet.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms


Friday, February 14, 2014

I Like..Black Romance (Movies)

(It’s some movie spoilers in here. Proceed with caution)


Happy Valentine's Day!!!

It’s Valentine’s Day, you cannot be shocked that I did a Black Romance blog post. At first, I started to do a Black Love Songs post but that started to become too long. I like too many love songs. Many of them are by black musical artists. As long as it doesn’t praise adultery (Saving All My Love by Whitney Houston, Piece of My Love by Guy) (Hmm, Blog Idea?) I more than likely like it.


I am a sucker for a love story, especially that shows Black people being loving. Here is a list of some of my favorite more recent movies that are love stories or contain a love story that features black people.

Trust me "Claudine" by far is the best classic black romance movie there is. Pure story, good acting, Gladys Knight & the Pips on the soundtrack and James Earl Jones' voice (don't act like you don't know) makes me love it forever.




First up is My Favorite Movie of All Time “Amour Infinity” Yes I introduced it in a previous Blog (link) about my like of Indie Films. I more than like this movie I am in Love with this Movie. So many lessons can be learned from this movie. Man can touch stuff and ruin it every time. Who wins in the contest of Love vs. Fate? Also, the lesson of Prince has dated some of the best looking women in pop culture. You laugh but it comes up. When you watch this movie, Let Me Know. If you liked this movie you Must Let Me Know.



Also from the, I Like Independent Films Blog is “I’m Through with White Girls”.
Yes, my initial reason for watching this movie is because Lamman Rucker is in it.  It’s not a secret that he and another person this will be talked about later run neck and neck on topic spot my Eye Candy List. So, Rucker got me to watch but his role didn’t make me like it as I do. When you say It’s Me, not You when you break up with someone, guess what it could really be you. You may not see it when you breaking up with someone but along comes “the One”. You will see it then. That is an essential theme of this movie. There is also a wedding reception that is a must-see. Spoiler Alert to Line in the movie, “Your Girl is Ghetto, Dawg. Like Tootsie Pops and Pickles”. That line cracks me up.


Okay, I have a thing for weddings. If you follow me on Twitter you might see me live tweet with some wedding shows on Fridays. In “Madea’s Family Reunion”, Frankie says that best wedding vows I have ever heard.


You are my light.
And it doesn’t matter what happens in this life, as long as you're with me.
When I look at you, I know that there's a God
and that he loved me so much
that he took the time to create you...just for me.
I love you....past my mind....beyond my heart....
I love you for my soul.
And that's the space where only you and God dwell
(heart swelling up typing that)


I am not of fan of “Doing Your Own Vows” but Tyler Perry almost (keyword almost) made me change my mind.  I love the Frankie and Vanessa love story in one of my favorite Tyler Perry movies. Here you are dragging you broken heart life along your day to day motions, in steps God to send you someone to show you, life with a broken heart is not a life at all. That is so refreshing.


Since we are talking about Tyler Perry (Yes, I am a Fan. The only thing I don’t watch is “The Have and Have Not”. Too daytime soap-opera-like for me.) I will be remised if I didn’t put “Why Did I Get Married” on the list.
This movie has college-educated professionals married and trying to make it work. Even if it didn’t, somebody in the relationship was trying to make it work. As the saying goes, I can forgive Failure but Not Trying is unacceptable.  It also helps that Perry made Jill Scott (one of my Favorite singers & Plus Size Style Icons) and Lamman Rucker (been a fan since Half & Half) a couple, Yep another Eye Candy movie.

Okay, the other man that battles Lamman Rucker for the top spot of my Eye Candy list is Wayne Brady. He got divorced so I could openly like him. (my Eye Candy list is as Unique as I am and it has No married men on it) He has a movie called “The List”
 Mild manner guy gets jilted after proposing in public. He decides to make a list of his qualities in a woman. He meets her. Y’all know this movie is not that cut a dry like that. You have to watch it. Yeah, Brady got me to watch it. The pure storyline made me like it. One will believe somebody could go through this. Also, it introduced me to Ecco Domani wine. It’s not bad for inexpensive wine.


I know you expected to see pop culture favorites, “The Best Man” & “Love Jones” on the list. I’m not a big fan of these nice little movies like most people. I always want to shake Harper of “Best Man” and say “You didn’t think if you wrote a book Nothing Bad would happen”. I know it is said in the movie but that really bothers me. I just want to see the “Murch” chant, the fight & the Electric Slide dance in “The Best Man”. Then Love Jones breaks my heart when Nina started seeing Hollywood. I follow the “Friendship Code” That is never acceptable to me. Yes, we all wrestle with admitting having feelings for somebody. I get the movie’s theme. But once Nina & Hollywood had a romantic rapport, I only want to watch it for the poems & the soundtrack at this point.


I do like “The Wood”.
The storyline of remembering a lost love is so sweet and enduring. He fell in Love with Inglewood and the girl too. Plus there is a wedding and the processional song is “Latest, Greatest Inspiration’ by Teddy Pendergrass. That song is on my “Wedding Possibilities” song list. I love that song.

Oh, and there is "Think Like a Man". I read the book. I learned some things (5 important questions). Some things I could not believe someone had to tell ladies about (chirp chirp girl, I wish I would). Once, my friends who saw the movie opening weekend that called and said that there was a character that reminded them of me, I knew I would probably like it.
Before you ask, I remind people of the 90-day Lady but we all know 90 days ain’t crap compared to me. I am upfront about my decision. Also, Romany Malco is the Player, 90-day lady's love interest He is on the Eye Candy list (been a fan since Weeds), also. This is a solid story. I also like that it's not just the men that were romantically mess up. The Alpha-Woman was a piece of work. I also like this movie showed and talked about Heterosexual Men Reading. I love a reading man. I hope in the sequel, that I wished would be called "Act Like A Lady", show more men reading.
I know its set in Vegas but, they can read on the plane.
Finally the movie “Love & Basketball” rounds off the list. It reminds me of older people who met their spouses as children. It’s something many of us wanted but it didn't happen. I liked how both went on with life and careers in Basketball and nobody was hooked on drugs, alcohol, desperately depressed or suicidal because the other person wasn't in their life.
The best line is "Are they cussing their mamas in Spain, now” in that movie. The romantic showdown is to die for. She played him for his heart” *swoon*

So that’s my list. What’s on your list? Let me know. Don’t let my criticism of “Love Jones” & “The Best Man” deter you, either. Comment Below. *wink*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

FYI: Never Text a Confession (or Any Major Life Changing Info) to Me

Okay anyone I have an offline relationship with know I am not a Major fan of text messaging. I do it because everyone else does it. I’m more of a pick up the phone and talk person. I believe I am a dying breed. *smile* Today I read an article about Michael Sam and his father says he was told by his son “I’m Gay” via text message. The article is Here . I was appalled. Why was a “dead beat” father drug up to be interviewed? That was messy. But more in importantly, why did the son Text his father? If he going to Tell his father His Truth, why didn’t he call his father and open his mouth and tell his father. He opened his mouth to tell the world, he could open his mouth and tell his father. (Now I say this presuming that this text is the truth. The article was one sided. If the father is lying, I’ll recant my rant about Michael Sam texting something important).

Yes, I have had my share of people text me “Life Changing” events. I had an ex officially stop dating me via text. Oh he introduced the idea to me with his mouth but the actually “I just want to be Friends” came in a text. Friend we are and he Knows not to tell me anything like that via text (I used to give him hell. Thank God for true forgiveness).

I also had a former best friend tell me she was gay via text. That text message is a why she and I have not talked since. Not the content of the text message but the fact that she texted me. She could have told me. She ended a conversation with me just to text me she was gay. That was low to me. She was one of the people I cried to when the afore mentioned ex broke up with me via text. So she knew how I felt about that. I guess my feelings didn’t matter in the end. My heart ached for a while because of that. It probably still has a tender point in it because of it. She will have to speak first (But because of other things she has done/not done since then, its best I don’t speak. What I will choose to say will make the devil tell me I’m wrong (Still working forgiveness there)). No, I will not text her response. That would be something wouldn’t it.

Texting important stuff is cowardice to me. In my opinion, when one text confessions, admission, & breakups, they are to chicken to tell the information. This is not a casual “Hey, It’s Hump Day” moment. This is “Life Changing” material. And if one thinks “Life Changing” stuff should be told in an “Oh Yeah” manner, then apparently one feels the text recipient’s feelings should be in a casual manner. That is how it was sent. Text messages show no feeling, emotion or mood. LoL’s & Emoji’s mean nothing. I have sent some mean spirited text and to soften the blow sent a smiley face. But was I really trying to soften it??? You know the answer. I can “dry text” with the best of them Oh emails and social media is not a way to tell me anything either. So don’t get cute. Open your mouth and tell me if it is important for me to know about. I want feeling behind the statement. Let me hear your emotions because trust me you will hear mine.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Monday, February 10, 2014

Ronald McNair, Ph.D Salute


On day in 1986, I was in lower elementary school but I was sick that day (it may have been what as now called a "Mental Health" day (my mother allowed some of those)). I was sitting there watching TV and the news was all a buzz because a Space Shuttle, The Challenger, was going up. That was exciting to me because a black man was on that shuttle. I went to an all-black elementary school & all-black church in a predominantly black area so that was a big deal. Also he was going to play music up there. They did the count down and it went up but it was an explosion. My grandmother explained to me that the shuttle blew up and the astronauts died. Even as a child that hurt my little heart. I still get sad thinking about that day. Also, to top it all off in an isolated event 30 minutes our neighbors’ house caught on fire and burned. That sad day will always stay with me.

The black astronaut was named Ronald McNair. He was not the 1st black astronaut (actually the 2nd to fly in space). The 1st was a man named Guion Bluford. McNair was the first black astronaut to die on a mission. Many schools, scholarships (local, state & federal), buildings are named after Ronald McNair but very few know who he was.

Born in 195 in South Carolina, Ronald McNair was the valedictorian of his high school class and was magna cum lade with a bachelors in engineering physics. He had a Ph. D. from MIT in physics. He was also a member of the historical Greek fraternity Omega Psi Phi. In 1978, Dr. McNair was carefully chosen as one of thirty-five applicants from a pool of 10,000 for the NASA astronaut program. McNair was an accomplished saxophone player. Actually before the fateful shuttle blast, he worked with composer Jean Michel Jarre on a piece of music for his upcoming album named Rendez-Vous. McNair playing his saxophone was anticipated to be recorded on the Challenger. It would have made McNair's solo the first original piece of music to have been recorded in space. The last of the Rendez-Vous, Last Rendez-Vous was re titled Ron's Piece in his honor.

Yes, a harmonica was played on the Gemini earlier but a saxophone played in space would have been so cool. So, I salute Dr. Ronald McNair on today. Maybe there is a future Ronald McNair that will get to play their saxophone in space, one day. I think he would be proud.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms