Sorry SNL, I'm Not That Useful

So if you have not heard about the SNL Slavery Joke controversy, go Here and Here. I know popular reality was on and you were more interested in that than SNL. (No snark intended) I get it. So go read it and come back.

Okay you're back. So yeah, folks are not happy with Ms. Leslie Jones and SNL. Yeah,  I'm not pleased with the joke, either. I get the joke. I also get how the joke is offensive to Black people. In my opinion, attacking it racially is too easy. The “Oh Lawd, I’ Lonely” tone the joke had was what broke my heart.

Are folks that desperate to be “Booed” up or want a date that Forced Slave Breeding would seem better? Did I miss the "Low Self-Esteem & Frantic for a Date" memo that went out to the single people? I tend to do that sometimes. Somedays, all the single people on my Facebook timeline all complain at once about being lonely, While I’m happy I got a good nights sleep on my side of the bed without fighting for the top sheet all night long, every night.

I know we all want to be wanted and asked out. That’s feels good. Being pushed with someone just to make more people does not feel good. Ms. Jones was so sure she would be able produce what Massa wanted. What if the big black buck & she could not produce Shaq, Kobe, or Sinbad even? Big Black Buck and she would have been beaten or sold. Oh wait she said Drafted. Umm drafting has choices in it's involvement. No slave had options to my knowledge when being sold. So, give me the loneliness any day. Slavery does not sound sexy or romantic at all.

I’m a fan of Leslie Jones’s standup. I know her work and I was very happy when she became a writer on SNL. I just don't like this joke, though. I'm so lonely that I could be content with Massa being my matchmaker. Yeah, I don't agree. I'll wait until somebody sees me as pretty as Lupita and not useful as Leslie

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Harrison Wright Replacements???

Okay before I start this post, let me address a troll whose comment I delete on the blog about the Scandal Season 3 Finale . Troll called me a racist because I said Columbus Short was "the only OUTSPOKEN_DIVA approved hunk on the show". Since I deleted the comment, troll has sent a email every day since trying to debate me. Here is my official statement:
      Pop Culture tells you I have to say that Fitz & Jake are attractive. The Key Phrase is "tells you". Pop Culture does not tell me who I think is attractive. I do not think the actors who play Fitz or Jake are handsome. I also don't think the actor who played Olivia Pope's former love interest, Edison was either. So that's the hammer I will use to smash your racist accusations. Boom!!! This is my blog and also my choice of "hunkiness". Stop trying to goad me in to a argument about it.

Well, Columbus Short will not be returning back to Scandal after the summer break.

 I told you Shonda Rhimes does not play with Scandal (pun not intended). I've seen many talk about who could replace Columbus short as Harrison Wright. I only have one choice, Brian Wright.

But actually I don't want any actor replacing Harrison Wright. Replacing Columbus Short with anyone as Harrison Wright is like replacing Aunt Vivian on Fresh Prince or Harriet on Family Matters. This is not the 1990's. Writers Know 1) We all don't look a like. 2) Casting is not fooling anyone.

I expect Shonda Rhimes to Introduce another Gladiator at some point in the storyline (Yeah I have some ideas. Follow me on Twitter to find out). We will have to see what she does. If you watch Grey's Anatomy, the "Cardio God" after Isaiah Washington's departure was not a Black Man. It was a White Lesbian. So the newest Gladiator may not be a Black Man. But if he is here a my Top 3 choices.

Larenz Tate I know he's been bumped up from Recurring to Regular on Fx's show Rescue Me. But in my opinion, he can do both. I've never watched Rescue Me. I saw him as guest star on The Mindy Project, recently. He was smooth talking political candidate named Tracy Whitfield. We also know from the role O-Dog in Menace to Society when he was younger. He can handle a gun. And yes, if he can't do both, the political candidate player can be a guest star needing Olivia's fixing (It's NO secret, I want Olivia Pope to get back to TRUE Fixer work).

Las Alonzo He played an FBI agent in the one season show, Deception. Which means he has experience being crime wielding and fact finding. Plus, I think Alonzo has the personality to corral the Gladiator spirits into positivity like Harrison Wright. Now, can keep Alonzo's Tweets out his mouth and not cause any more minor controversies?

Aldis Hodge He not just an OUTSPOKEN_DIVA approved hunk. He's currently on the eye candy list. All because of a little show called Leverage. Hodge played a criminal hacker turned good guy. Often he had to play crazy characters to get good results. Because Huck may need some help because he'll be going through with the fallout of the family issue and/or his antic with the quinnteresting, Quinn. Now I know Hodge looks a little young to be a Gladiator but so does Quinn.

Yes, these picture posted were divisive. Other than Huck, all the Gladiators dress nice. I showed these actors dressing nice on purpose. They are all OUTSPOKEN_DIVA hunk approved. But most importantly IMO they would be great as Gladiators if Shonda Rhimes is going to stick with Black Male. I'll have to put more thought into "Other That Can Be Gladiators". Just dealing with the surface level interest. So stay tune for another blog dealing with that topic. Okay so, who would you like to see as a Gladiator? Let me know in the comments below.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Love is in the Air YET I Get Questioned...

OMG, I had the most Loving weekend. I watched my little cousin, my cousin's daughter, get married. It was short and sweet. Hung out with the young couple the next day, The new husband totally fits in with our family. And finally one of my "Chosen Family" members announced she Engaged on Sunday. Her fiancé has been welcomed since day 1 of meeting him. So, I totally approve of this engagement. All this excitement for other people and folks want to ask me when will get married. First at my Foundation church by this old deacon and then on Facebook (just this morning). I actually deleted the comment before someone else saw it and an argument exploded. I have some argumentative FBF.

This is one of the annoyances of weddings for me. "When are you getting married"? "Oh, honey you're next". "You're not getting any younger". I didn't grow up with a "must be marriage", "must-have grandkids" type of mother. Actually, until I graduated from college, I thought that attitude was something that was made for TV. Then one of my late neighbors asked it and my grandmother told him off before I could say anything. I think that popped the corked "You need to be married" bottle in my life. Why is there a need for me to be married? Why are people that are not me desperate for me to be married? Oh all the things I am not, why is not being married the concerned?

My mother taught us to "Let God Order You Into Marriage". I am not against being married. I want to spend forever with someone who truly loves God and me. Yes, in that order.  If he loves God and is praying to find me, his bride, I know God is leading him to me And it also means he's preparing me to be found. I feel like it is God's will when or if I get married. I just really want him to Clamp man's mouth shut with the questions about when he wants me to do it.

I refuse to be foolhardy & hasty in attitude to be married. I see so many who are and it pains me. I never gave myself an age to get married and I'm not going to now. Wait that's not true. If I hold out until age 65, he can't say I married him for his money. Yes, that is a joke.

So, get the message out. Don't ask Me when am I going to get married. Go ask God!!! He knows it all. I will not let people stress me out about a life-long decision. Congratulations to my loved ones that were married & got engaged this past weekend. God bless you in the New Step in Life!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Twerking Craze (I Blame Pop Culture)

 

I am not a hypocrite because I Am a hypocrite. I am (Not *was* because my Heart is still there) a Teenager of the 90’s. So, of course in 1993, I was twerking when DJ Jubilee told us to on his song “Jubilee All”. But then I had been Booty Bouncing, Shake My Butt, Backing My Thang Up, and Humping With It for years. I still do. I can’t Drop It Like It Hot, Warm or Cold anymore but I still shake it sometimes. Now I said 1993, I was twerking. So why is there a “Twerking Craze” now? I will not throw down the race card but I blame one thing is fuels, Pop Culture.

My mom called it the Funky WahTuSi back when she was younger in the 1960’s. I came home from school and she was teaching my younger cousins and I swear her legs haven’t been right since (Yes, that is a joke). Now all of a sudden there are all these “How To Twerk” video popping up. Everywhere you go random people are asking “Is this how you twerk?”.  Miley Cyrus, The Golden Sisters (I love them. I truly do.), and other of these pop stars are Not doing anything New. What do you think “Shake, Shake! Shake, Shake! Shake your Booty”, looked like on the dance floor? Yet, somebody trendy in the entertainment world does a dance and calls in a name people don’t recognize and there is a media storm. Pop Culture Media, let me tell you and maybe you’ll get the word out “Twerking it Not New”. The world listens to you.

I am Not sorry to pop Pop Culture’s bubble about this new dance called twerking. Pop Culture knew twerking was not new. It just didn’t want to let the masses know. The funny part is the masses already knew. We just let Pop Culture look foolish. I bet Dollars to Donut, everyone reading this blog is saying “D’uh” and agreeing with me. Hopefully they are also telling the few out here asking “What is Twerking” the same things I am saying in this blog. If you are reading this and you did not know that, now you do. Now go tell a friend.

 Oh and hat's off to the Microsoft dictionaries that don't recognize "twerk" as a word. Now, I’m off to swing my upside down teardrop shape tail to some 90’s Southern Bass Music & Hip Hop. Yeah a lot of it is riddle with misogyny and sex but “Tootsie Roll” & “Get It Ready, Ready” never get old. They get me going. I told y’all, I’m not a hypocrite because I Am a Hypocrite..

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Just Want a Maxi Dress *whining* (What I Wear)

Pimps aren’t the only people having a rough time. It’s hard out here for a short plus size diva like me. It’s a lot you don’t see in pictures. I’m just 5’2”. I have short legs, torso and arms. I also have a Medium B Width foot.  Shopping can get sometimes frustrating to me.

For the 5 years in a row, I have fail to find many affordable sleeveless Maxi dress (sleeved ones look like muumuus IMO) in petite plus size. I did find one this year. Sounds like one somebody heard my cry.

I’ve yet to find a cap sleeve shirt that does not fit me like a short sleeve. See this dress with my attempt to shorten the sleeve. (This dress gets a lot of wear)

Still Not as short as it looked in the ad. I gave up trying to wear short skirts in high school. Since I have a big bust I use to pull my tight knit skirt under my bust to shorten them. Now I’m too old to wear my skirts that short.

Let me also talk to shoe industry. Can a lady with a B width foot but a wide leg get a well-crafted fashionable comfortable heel or boot? Any shoe (mostly boots) that I own that is made for plus size women are stuffed at the toe. They are too wide. I know I could go to all the other stores and get any shoe I want and I do. But I like getting my shoes from Plus Size retailers because the shoes is better crafted for a larger frame. This is one of the few B width shoe bought from a Plus Size retailer I own and was from the internet not an in-person store.

I just want to dress like everyone else and be able to pay for it also. It‘s bad enough that plus size clothes cost a little more than average. (I saw a Petite Plus Size Maxie Dress for $98) It’s already bad enough the fashion industry is very slow to understand that the “Big Girls” don’t want to dress in geriatric wear.  I just want someone to understand the “squatted” ladies are here and we want to look nice too. Don’t tell me to just get it tailored. Sometimes that cost almost as much as the item. Oh well back to whining. “I just want more than one sleeveless. Maxi dress”. LMBO

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Rape Culture (I Blame Pop Culture)

Rape culture links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape. And we thank Wikipedia for their definition. Rape Culture is

·           Blaming the Victim, the victim’s clothing, time the victim was out, how much did the victim drank in alcohol, did the victim know the rapist

·           When a Group of men & boys have "gang bang" sex on a girl. The guys get arrested yet still people ask “Where was the girl’s parents”?

·           "Men can’t be raped by Women"

·           Children well under the age of consent thinking having sex at that age is normal

·           Seduction is romantic

·           Watching a sex tape of an R&B crooner, saying that he did it yet still buying his music (I’m not a hypocrite because I am a hypocrite. I was still a fan of Trapped in the Closet Chapters for a minute after finally seeing the tape) music. Umm don’t you think the true public opinion didn’t sway the case

·           Men cat-calling and harassing women as the walk down the street

·           Young men being taken to prostitute because they are "too old to be a virgin"

·           Girls not being allowed to wear legging to school because it entices the boys & male teachers

·           Boy slapping girls on the butt or grabbing their breast and running off like it’s their free for all right to grope

·           Women just now being thought of as child molesters & rapists

·           The term “underage sex worker” instead of “child trafficking victim”

·           20 different ways women have been taught to avoid rape, while barely anyone is teaching men NOT TO RAPE

·           Asking “Were any of the rapist’s victims, prostitutes or strippers”?

·           Video games are created that allow players to rape other player’s characters… for amusement

·           Men plan out their rapes in advance by carrying rape drugs with them

·           When Rappers don’t understand putting drugs in a person’s drink, taking that person anywhere to have sex, have sex with said person and “they don’t even know it” is Wrong

·           When the President of France attacks a random stranger in his hotel room and gets away with it, cause “women always want sex.”

·           Arizona publishes the names and addresses of rape victims

·           When universities give women students rape whistles to stop rape

·           “You know you want it” because of these “Blurred Lines”

·           Believing men are wild animals unable to control their sexual urges

·           Detention centers and communities allowing undocumented women to be raped because the fear of deportation keeps them from reporting

·           One Month Rape Sentences

·           Child Brides not Sex Slaves

·           Rape Culture is made up by Angry Feminists

Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments. And what has Pop Culture done to stop any of this? How much of it has Pop Culture promoted, itself?  I’ll let you answer that.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

It's Easter Time!!!

I've told you before here in this BLOG, Easter is my Favorite Holiday. Today is Good Friday. It's the day Christian commemorate the Death of Jesus Christ. Easter is the day we celebrate He Rising from the Grave. When I was younger I thought Good Friday was a holiday the Baptist (That's was what I was growing up) got off from work & school. I was 12 when I found out that I was wrong. We didn't go to school because my mother took the day off and she used that time for us to get our hair done and other decorating chores for Sunday. So on Good Friday that is what I still do. Today, I started some of my décors. I picked some flowers out of one of my grandmother's garden.

Made an arrangement for the coffee table.

Also, put out a little candy for the family.

Tomorrow I'll start part of the dinner. Dinner will be

Ham

(We only get it 2-3 times a year)

Potato Salad

Green Bean Casserole

Apple Pie

(The Farewell to Baking Season Dessert).

Pretty much every year Ham, Potato Salad, a hot vegetable Side dish, and dessert. The decorating & the meal are easy. That's one of the reasons why it's my favorite. It's not so commercial so all the hustle & bustle is deleted for me.

I think the meaning of the holiday has always warmed my heart. This week my aunt sent out an Inspiration message that contained the scripture I learn when I was in daycare. It brought so many fun memories to my mother and I this week. The scripture is:

“For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.”
 

(1 Corinthians 15:3–4, NIV)

My mother cracked up when she read that. Every day in devotion we did this scripture at daycare. I loved to recite it. It had choreography

Put your arms out like a cross (Christ Died)

Point to yourself (For Our Sins)

Make a book or Bible with your hands (According to the Scriptures)

Bend and Point Down (He was Buried)

Bring your Body and finger back up (Rose again)

Hold up three fingers (Third day)

Make a book or Bible with your hands (According to the Scriptures)

My mother said that I was so little that she didn't understand what I was saying until she asked the teacher was "According to the Scriptures". It's refreshing to know I was taught at an early age the true meaning of Easter. Because 1 Corinthians 15:3–4, is just that, plain and simple. Okay, now I'm going to dry my eyes.

Happy Easter!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms