A Father's Day Post

Father's Day is upon us. Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers & Father Figures all over the land. You guys know I wasn't raised in the home by my biological dad. My mother was a single parent. My sister and I are those people that honor our mom also on Father's Day. A meal (Garlic-Ginger Wings & Veggie Fried Rice) that she loves will be cooked.

And you guys know I had great Father Figures in my life.

They were my grandfather, Pau-Pau, uncle, Uncle Junior & great uncle, Uncle H. I actually had more than that. I have & had quite a few great uncles, a God-father, a few God-Uncles & one uncle by marriage that are/were instrumental in my life is some form or fashion But these men were the most influential. Now I've bragged on my relationship with Pau-Pau before in the post Birthday Confession but he is only part of my father figure story.

1st let me talk about my Uncle Junior. He my mom's brother and Pau-Pau's son. He was the only boy in a family of girls. He died when I was twelve. Every spoiled, entitled, princess characteristic in my being can be blamed on him. He coddled his nieces. I remember impressing him because I could order food for DD & I at McDonalds when I was 8 after a museum trip.

That was big because we didn't eat fast food often and we didn't order for ourselves at all. When I overheard him bragging on me to my mom and I beamed with pride for the rest of the week. He taught me a lot about being a lady. "A man should open a lady's door." Once I opened a door and my male cousins got fussed at and thumped. I felt bad for my cousins (his two sons, Donny & Mike(blog names) & DD) and as a result I try my hardest not to open doors if men are around. Men, if you think I am picky about ashy skin, raggedy shoes & mouths? You can blame him also. Dating Lesson Number 1: You can tell how a man will treat a lady on how he treats his hands, mouth & shoes. If he doesn't care what he looks like, he won't care how he acts. If he doesn't take care of his mouth, anything could come out of it. So any guys I have dated, you got off easy. Imagine if he had lived to see you date me. Some of you would have never left the house with me. Now, he spoiled us as long as we were right. Have you ever recieved a disciplinary talk from an Air Force base from over 600 miles away? I have! My uncle didn't accept reports of bad grades or behavior. Trust me when he called home from Colorado to talk to you, you wish he would just spank you when he got there for Christmas break. He's the prideful breeze on my cheek that tells me I can make it. He didn't let me settle so, why should I?

If you ever see me type, "Yep, Yep, Yep", I'm paying homage to my great uncle. Anything he meant, he stamped it with a"Yep, Yep, Yep" to follow. My Uncle H was my great uncle by marriage. He was married to Pau-Pau's sister, Aunt V. He was very tall but the nicest man anyone could know.

He was my protector and I was too young to understand it. When I was in the 2nd grade, my teacher tried to keep me after school. Uncle H (who or his wife my  great aunt picked us up after school) came to the class and the teacher didn't answer his questions right and he yelled at him to release me. I was let go. In the car, he asked me all kinds of questions about if the man had touched me inappropriately. My innocent answers must have been suffice to him. I later found out he told my mom he suspected my teacher was a pervert. It did come out that our teacher was a pedophile and he had touched a few of the male students. He didn't attend church often because he was truck driver. He would do what he could for his family. Every time my Uncle Junior came to town, his family & he would lived with Uncle H & Aunt V. He always helped take my sister & me to college in his truck, you would've thought he was one of the grandfathers. He load up as much of our stuff that he could. He was proud to take us to school. He had lots of stories to tell on the road. He told stories about his childhood in West Texas. My knees hurt still think about him tell us about doing homework on his knees on a tree stump if one failed to do them it in. He loved told us about watching his uncle who was a Black Cowboy.  He loved to see others succeed. He personified this quote perfectly, "I hope we all succeed. you got the same failure fear as I do in me". He died when I was 20 years old. I was in my dorm room when my mom called me with the news. I was at school when he left this Earth, how befitting.

So, that was my grandfather's main support system in help raising Outspoken_Diva. He had/still has lots more help. One lesson they All taught me was to Never Hate my biological father. With All the Love they poured into me, how could I?

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

3rd Relaxer in a Year (It's My Hair)

So the last time I talked about my hair was in December or January, I looked like this. My experience relaxer stretching for 6 months was not that bad so I decide to stretch it for 6 months again. Well, with all the rain pouring down in the DFW metroplex, I cut this 6 months stretch off by two weeks.

I also during the stretch I bought a new investment to go with the last investment I call Marshall Royce Williams. I call this one, Kelly Royce Williams.

She is so cute. This is my first wig. It has been a few years since I had worn tracks. I forgot what it was like to wear that much hair. She took some time to get used to but I love her. But of course like Marshall, Kelly is not to totally relied up on. I wore my hair out.

I think this my roller set was bomb for a showing of "Kinky Boots".

And my hair was "Aunt of a High School Graduate" fabulous on this day. That was such a hectic morning at my house. I was very proud of my hair and my niece.

My hair is growing.  In March, I was blow drying my hair and all of  sudden I realized, I couldn't see very well.

My bangs were passed my eyes. The last time I had check on my bangs since I parted them in January of last year was in November. They covers my brows some but passed my eyes. I was excited.

Okay so I am actually late doing this blog. I got a relaxer two weeks ago. I forgot to take pictures of my hair of my hair when it was freshly done.

Here it is once I got in and put on my "hair shirt" so I could put it up for the evening. Then all the rain and humidity in the area made it impossible to keep my style properly so I wrapped it. And I wrapped it just in time for my birthday event. So, this is what I looked like a week after my relaxer.

I haven't worn my hair wrapped in so long I looked weird to me. Cute but a little weird. I'll have to wear it like that more often.

Well, wash day was two days ago. I washed my hair with the Pantene Truly Relaxed Moisturizing Shampoo & Conditioner as always. I don't add the Clarifying Shampoo & Deep Conditioner to the routine until week 8. I'll have enough new growth to be concerned with, then.

Then, I put the styling aids in before I dry my hair. I usually air dry or sit under a hooded dryer until week 6 when the new growth makes an appearance. That also mean that the styling aids change after 6 weeks also. I don't use the L'oreal Intense Smoothing Serum before I dry. I use the Dark and Lovely 6 Week Anti-Reversion Cream Serum to keep my hair from shrinking some much after I blow dry my hair.

And here are the results after I air dry and comb it out with my trusty wide tooth comb that is older than me.

I then sectioned it off, two strand twist and roll each section at the end overnight.
Viola!!! Looks like the style I had when I got my relaxer.

My style for the next two weeks if we keep this wonderful dry weather. If not, I'll just wrap it,

In two weeks, one of my closest friends, Intellectual Diva (Smartest Diva, I know) is getting married. I'm a bridesmaid and I'll be returning to the land of buns & updos. I get addicted to not doing my hair. LoL

So pray my strength that I may continue to comb my hair and not slick it up and put it in a bun after this. As long as I have my spray oil & my edge control, I should be fine.

So that is my hair. Relaxed Hair, I Don't Care!!! I really don't care. I wear it my way and you should wear yours, your way. And We'll All Be Happy Again!!!


As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Gold Teeth (Not Interesting in Dating)

I've never been attracted to men with gold teeth. I don't understand getting them. It's not a symbol of luxury because I know several poor people with gold teeth.

In my opinion, is takes away from the beauty of a man's smile.

I love a man's smile. My uncle taught me you can tell a lot about a man by the way he takes care of his teeth. If what is in his mouth bothers you, what is coming out will not be heard. They can also be very distracting. I grew up with a man in church who could sing very well. But as a child, I would miss most what he was saying, because I was watching him lick is gold every few lines.

Now, before people who know me in Offline Land come for me, let me say a few things. Yes, I am related/have been related to people with gold teeth. You've not lived until you have an older relative who gets gold in their dentures. Yes, I one of my friends has a gold tooth. I also am not going to ever date her. Keyword is Her. And Yes, I have dated a man with gold teeth. Actually this guy is on the "Good Ex" list. He is probably the leader of the pack. Again the keyword is Ex.

I would Never date him again. His gold teeth is probably a very, very minor reason. Growing into different people over the years is the major reason. He didn't have gold teeth when we first started dating that mid-summer. He mentioned that he wanted gold teeth and thought I was dissuading him into getting them. I blame my passive aggression. That issue needed direct bluntness. In October, he came by my place to show off his new accoutrements. I didn't handle it well. I felt like he messed up the smile that I Loved.

We almost broke up right then behind his gold teeth. Keyword is Almost. We broke up later behind less petty reasons. At 20 years old, you almost break up behind gold teeth. Today, I'm most definitely breaking up with a man who gets gold teeth. Matter of fact, when he says he want to get some, I am telling him I will break up with him if he gets them. What is wrong with having natural looking teeth?

I know the reason all people who gold teeth was not a cosmetic one. Some people lose their teeth for various reasons. But even to them, why gold? What about getting the cheaper silver (Oh, gold is Not cheap (dentist office or black market)) cap and save for porcelain or ceramic (That can be strangely higher than gold). But that is their mouth and I don't have to kiss them. Yes, the ex had good oral care when we dated.

Sorry Mr. Goldy, we won't be dating.

You should've invested in Lasix.  It's just my preference, that's all. We can know each other. We can be good buds. Oh trust me, there is a lady out there for you.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

A Reading Man (Attractive Characteristics to OUTSPOKEN_DIVA)

Memes could totally sum up my feelings about Men that Read. Yet, I will type out some words to go along them.

I wish I would meet a man in a bookstore. Heck, I wish I would meet a man in the book section at Walmart. Oooh, he would purchase my books in order for me to give him my number. Yeah, I know wishful thinking. But that would be Epic!!!

Football Nerd used to get me books. Matter of fact he bought me one of my favorite books as birthday gift.
When I got a Kindle, he had me make a list of books. A few days later, I got some of those books for download. After that it became his thing he did. Actually a couple weeks before he left this world, he emailed me some books. * no tears* I've learned he liked giving people books. Books are Totally Great Gifts!!!

But what is just as hot as getting a book as a gift, A Man That Reads.

A man who reads books, journals & newspapers is the bee's knees to me. They have things to talk about that I can learn about. Most men I've met that read usually don't read some of the same genres that I do. So, it intrigues me what his thought processes is like. Oh, I know he's a thinker because no one can truly read without thinking.

Men who read are also curious. They will ask questions and usual don't assume. I knew a guy who read a book about a lady who had emotional problems caused by her husband. He asked he a few "Can a Man make a Woman lose her mind" questions. I knew a few guys who read "50 Shades of Grey" and that started a few discussions on bedroom expectations.

And of course men who read have a nice vocabulary. I don't mean a man who knows how to uses big words. I mean a man like the guys like in my previous post in the series. Reading is one of the ways we learned grammar as children. Reading as an adult helps keep those same skill working. Trust me, I've been there.

Sad, there are various studies that say women read more than men. I wish it was a equal. And men (and women), if you don't read don't bother anyone who does. Non-readers are some of the most judgemental people I know. It is why I limit all my interactions with them.

So, if you are interested in me, read something more than your social media timeline. When you finish reading, come discuss it with me. I'll be around to listen & learn. Maybe we'll know each other long enough for you to read to me one day. Yes, that is a Relationship Goal!!!


As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Oooh, He Talks Real Good (Attractive Characteristics to OUTSPOKEN_DIVA)

The stereotypical Male voice is very sexy to me. Tones ranging from Brad Garrett to James Earl Jones make me swoon.

But a deep voice can be just that, A Deep Voice if he doesn't speak or communicate well. Now a man who speaks grammatical English, that doesn't mumble or say uh, huh, nah mean, and other slang all the time make my head turn around everytime. Especially a Black Man.

That's how I met my "little brother", BJ. Nothing about him was/is attractive to me. Matter of fact I had wrote a narrative about him while just looking at him months before meeting him in the dining hall at Lamar University. (I wasn't far off once I met him.) Then at lunch one day with others I heard him talk. I stared at his mouth like whatever he was saying was gold. I made him a little uncomfortable. I explain that I liked Black men who spoke correct grammar.

It is appealing to hear speech like that because I can understand what they are saying. I know what they mean, I don't need urban dictionary to have a conversation with these men. I don't have to ask him to repeat that because what he said is clear. When a man says, "Hello! How are you?" when he approaches me I know to reply "Hi. I'm fine and yourself". He and I can converse.  I honestly don't know what to say to "Say, Say, Baby, Uh Uh Say". That guy must want to conversate. And contrary to what the Webster's dictionary will accept, I Never want to conversate with anyone.

A man who speaks "Proper" let's me know that this guy and I have at least one thing in common. 65% -80% of grammar class was learned. Whether we have anything else in common, at least I know that in the end I will be able understand what he said.

I know a man's diction says nothing about his character. Trust me I know some men that speak well and and are very gross people. I also know some very nice guys that speak a lot of slang.  

If they ever let me have my way, mumblers would be be sent to a talking rehab as soon as I hear them talk. Speak up or you can go to jail. Mumblers drive me batty.

So hats off the those sexy talking men out there.

I know what you are saying. And how you are saying it is hot. Come talk to me sometimes. Conversation Only!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

New Series Announcement (Attractive Characteristics to OUTSPOKEN_DIVA)

Okay you guys have read some of the types of men I not interested in dating. It was a series that was started with me saying why I don't dated ministers, preachers & pastors (Link is Here). Then it became a series (Intro Link is Here). Thank you for reading that series (well all the series & post for that matter). I do have more (Gold Teeth wearers get ready) but I also want to focus on the characteristics of the men that I am attracted to.

The things that at least get OUTSPOKEN_DIVA to want to put herself in your eyesight. These characteristics are not what is appealing to the eye. It's not that simple. These attributes are not all common attributes. Some are even things that even I didn't always know how to describe intelligently or correctly.

Are these guys I date? Maybe & maybe not. Sometimes what is appealing to the the senses is Not appealing overall. But you guys (since most of my readers are over 25 years of age)  know that by now. I say this because if there are people who annoyingly like to set me up on dates all the time are reading this, don't take too many notes, make a wrong set up and get your feelings hurt. This is just a series to balance "Not Interested in Dating" out a little.

So have fun reading because I will have fun typing. *blushing*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms