My Weirdest Random Facebook Friend Request

Okay like everyone else after I wake up, talk to the Lord, contemplate my life and day, & get ready for the day, I check the net to find out what I missed while I was sleep. Lo & Behold did I got a random friend requests on Facebook, today.

Truth be told some of these
"Mutual Friends" also

Like most people the random Facebook friend requests I get are some random guys looking to date or screw me or kidnap me to sell me into sexual slavery (Sometime along with an inbox message. Oh those are really funny). I don't use Social Media as a dating site (It's for the people who know my biological name in offline land, that I want to be social with,) so all of them get denied. Crazy part is as bad as I dislike them, I always click on the profile to see what I can see before I deny them Facebook friendship. This one today had to be by far the weirdest one yet for me

I was expecting a face that more than likely belongs to someone of foreign descent or some geriatric sugar daddy (Yeah the "Bapti-Costal" look brings the deacons & trustees to the gate. LoL) for his profile picture. I'm a plus size woman there are some men I know I attract, whether I am attracted or not. This time I didn't get a face. I got this.

I'll protect the stupid.
(This Time)

What the heck? He has the unmitigated gall to make this is profile picture. I was so perplexed that he tried it. Does this actually work for him? Is there any woman this desperate & gullible to accept & meet this man. Do I want to know the chick that hits accept? No One can be this dumb. All I could do was screen shot this stuff. and get ready for the day. I had a client in an hour and my FB activity had nothing to do with them.

The person Facebook says
 I may know
(I don't)
will be protected.
They had nothing to do with this.

If you know Mr. Osaruyi, tell him to STOP!!!

That profile picture is not cute. He is Not fooling me. And I will pray for anyone that is fooled into being his Facebook friend. This is one of the reasons why I deny All random Facebook friend request. Too many dangerous weirdos in the world to let into mine. But I know I'm preaching to the choir. What was your weirdest social media friend request? Leave it in the comments below.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Darla Neugebauer!!!

Okay if you are not caught up go read THIS and then come back.

*tuh*

In my opinion, that diner owner should not be sorry. I am ever in Maine, I will be stopping into her diner. After 15 minutes, I would've yelled at the parents. I'm sorry but children do not learn how to behave in public if you allow them to go crazy. If they don't feel well, stay home. That is Not fair to others trying to eat, shop, ect in peace.

Three things I Hate, Yes Hate for children to do in Restaurants, Planes & Stores.
1.Irate Screaming
2. Running Around
3. Kneeling in a chair 

I'm not saying that children should not be allowed to dine at restaurants. I just think they should not be allowed to run a muck in public.  I'm not saying you should vigilante smack any & all unruly children. That is going to far. I actually don't talk to the children of strangers. After I survey the situation (The child might have special needs or the child is screaming because the parent disciplined them, in which I understand & say nothing) I speak to the parent(s). Recently in a Big Box store, two children kept running in front of everyone's carts causing a ruckus. Finally I turned to the parents or adults they were with and said, "This is how your kids are going to get knocked the heck out off. They are running in front of everyone causing problems." I walked off not worrying about their reactions. I just know those little girls were not running around anymore. 

And this is not a race or culture issue. In my black family, I have a younger cousin who kneeled everywhere she ate. One family event, I made her sit on her bottom and I never said it again. Even my nephew has to be told to stand where I can see him from time to time in the store. So before someone say that it's that race or that race let stop you, Every Race of Children acts up in public from time to time. It is up to the Adults to help them to behave properly.

That is one of the reasons why I am Not a parent. Parenting, in my opinion is the raising the next generation to be viable citizens of the world. That is a daunting task. And letting a child scream for almost an hour at a restaurant is not leading her to be a good inhabitant. Ignoring cries also says those parents are selfish people also. They were not being fair to the other diners or the owner. The diner owner didn't curse at the child. She didn't even put them out. *slow clap" to Darla Neugebauer. Yes, it is easier when somebody else does it. But you did it and I respect you for it. 

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Overly Conscious Black Men (Not Interested in Dating)

I am a Christian Black Woman that has an Associate's & a Bachelor's degree. I speak grammatical English. and live in the inner city aka "Da Hood. I also wear my hair relaxed. But if you listen to the all mighty Hotep brothers, I am a disgrace to the black race. Well, guess what My Brotha? I will Never apologize for being me. Never!!!

I recently had to unfriend someone I knew from elementary school on Facebook because of his Overly Conscious views. (This post is not about him. Being overly conscious was Not the only reason why I would date him. And he wasn't checking for me either) My mouse stays on the block button when they pop up in my followers' lists on Twitter & Instagram.
I've always said I grew up All-Black until I was in middle school. So, there are a lot of Black facts and thoughts I've known about for years. There are many things I read and have read that some people are just now reading. I understand that. I was afforded that (and others) opportunity in life and some others were not. But when these people who get a little knowledge and decide to bash everybody with it, I don't understand that. I remember when I chose to go to a state university and not an HBCU, a childhood friend was appalled. So I asked her what was the oldest secular organization in the United States. She was stumped and she left me alone So, the mindset is not foreign to me but it is very annoying.

I am Very Annoyed with these men who feel like the definition of being black is a monolith and you are not this definition the White man has fooled you. Around social media, some people call these men, Hotep N-words. Here is the definition from Urban Dictionary.

A Hotep N-words is a black person who knows nothing about black history outside of Ancient Egypt. Hotep N-words will attribute anything and everything to Egypt while ignoring the rest of Africa and the far east. The majority of Hotep Niggas have no sincere interest in black history as they are only looking for an alternative to monotheistic religion.

Hotep N-words will also end every sentence with Hotep.

hotep N-words: Christ was a fictional character created by the white man to enslave you! Hotep!

Hebrew Israelite: According to Roman Historian Flavius Josephus, Christ was "a man of simple appearance, mature age, DARK SKIN, small stature, three cubits high, hunchbacked with a long face, long nose, and meeting eyebrows, so that they who see him might be affrighted, with scanty hair with a parting in the middle of his head, after the manner of the Nazarites, and with an undeveloped beard."

He existed and was black man.

hotep n-word: Lies! that's the white mans book. white man! white man! white man! Ma'at! Hotep!

Urban Dictionary is a great starter definition. Oh but these men do so much more. I used to ignore them Then the day I saw them call Black Feminists or "Womanists" white man bed wenches or agents to take the Black man down I knew then my tolerance for their BS was over. I want you to search for the "#YouOKSis campaign. The opposition is cringe-worthy.

 Oh Lord, every Sunday the Black Christian church gets attacked by these men almost as bad as the KKK & all the other racist folks that set off bombs, set fire & shoot in them. Just like lumping all black people in one category, putting all churches, Black churches in one group is unfair also, Oh yeah, I don't worship the image that pop culture tells me is Jesus. In the world of these men, if you don't think like them or let them teach you their ways, then you are a waste of melanin-rich skin. They are so Negative!!!

I will Never date these guys. I want a man of any race that can accept that we All with our different races, religions, creeds, sexualities, and Lives deserve to live here. I don't want a man that is so Negative about everything that is Not their definition of Blackness. There are enough negativity and racist smoke screens manufactured by pop culture and stereotypes that it is not needed by someone who looks like us. I thought I didn't want to date an Uncle Tom growing up. I was ready for the fake Black power brother that secretly dates white girls. Oh and black men who think they have arrived once they finally get them a white girl, you still make me frown. Well, add the Overly Conscious to my list. I want a Racially proud man that still cares about other humans. That's all!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Men Who Flirt and Make a Move (Attractive Characteristics to OUTSPOKEN_DIVA)

Time for me to give a *slow clap* to the men that will flirt and then ask for your number and/or a date afterwards. I am so tired of honing my flirting skills at this point at life. Oh, my flirting skills are on point. I know the difference between being flirting and being polite.

A male strange opens and hold the door for me at a restaraunt. I say "Thank You". He replies "You're welcome". He's just being polite & gentlemanly. (Side Note: If the lady Never engages you at the start or at least after she said "Thank You" at the door, STOP)  Nothing more, durn sure can't be less.  But if that same male stranger says, "How are you"? Then I in turn say "I'm good. And yourself"? And he says, "Great, now that I've seen you". Now, we've hit the compliment & flirting zone. Okay if he leaves it there, I am cool. Leave a compliment right there and move on. But he keeps small talking while waiting on the table and/or he is sitting near and says "That meal almost looks as good as you" when it comes to the table. He is no longer just being nice, he's full on flirting. I 'm cool with that. I might flirt back or blush & smile. (Again If she didn't respond to your previous attempts, this can make you look thirsty. She'll think you are harassing her. Read her body language, fellows.)  Now, here is where my frustration may begin. End of the evening, he or I are leaving and he doesn't make a move. This is when I feel like I am sharpening my flirting skills, yet again. Most people would think I could have slipped him my number, if I was interested. And to these people I say, "I will not". He initially approached me. Why am I finishing his courtship job? If he was so interested, he should see it all the way through.

*sigh* The story of my life for the past two and a half years. I'm so tired of being flirted with without being asked out in the end. It's so old, now. Remember little buddy from the big box store by my sister's house (His story is HERE), I have decided he's just a nice guy at this point who saw a friendly face way across the grocery section (I was in canned vegetables when he approached me that night. He works in Frozen foods) to have conversations with whenever he see it, now. But it's not just him, trust me. My friends and colleagues have similar stories.

This is why I salute the men that see their flirting engagements all the way to date and/or number. Some of you guys don't get how unnerving it is to feel like your conversational time have been wasted. That is breath I could've saved. I don't understand doing all of that then not want to further engage with the person past that point. Were you bored or lonely and just wanted someone to entertain you? Are you married or dating someone and decided not to deceive this woman. If that is the case, Thank You!!! You guys can't be shy. I mean hello, you've done all this verbal teasing so, how can you be bashful.? Don't be like one of the guys in the video getting upset in the end because the lady flirted with another guys. All that time wasted and you could have already had a phone call and plans for a date by now.

Oh Gosh, Am I the Real Pied Piper of hopeless dudes? I might be okay with be being single, not married but I do date. I mean how else will my future husband find me. We have to go on at least one date.

I have a theory. With the dating rules being screwed up & shallow at this point, too many guys feel like they don't have to follow through. Many of these guys chase women to the point right when they think they can flip it and they do. "Oh well if she is interested in what I put out there, she come chase me" Like they are testing our worth. Sorry bucko, that is only some women that fall for the ol' switcheroo. Many of us are leaving you high and try as you are leaving us.

Again I understand the difference in being polite & flirting. Polite is asking me if I knew a certain brand of laundry detergent is good. Flirting is you & I at the sample counter and you offer to "buy" me dinner. We laugh and then introduce ourselves to one another. Now,  I would expect that before we leave the counter you would ask me out. Am I expecting to much?

And to the guys who flirt and do make a move, take this hat nod in stride. I like what you do and sadly it has to be a part of things that catch my attention. But I am still watching for a shoe that might drop.

The dude in my last blog posted flirted and made a move that was was really aiming for me to just be a one night stand/weekend fun chick. It's just the next move, not sing  "To be Loved" loudly time.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Rom Com Love Life (Bridesmaid Edition)

Hey guys! Yes, I'm home from Wedding World.

The wedding was great. Intellectual Diva made a beautiful bride. She married a dapper dude that we've officially welcomed into the UTA clique. Oh, and I made a Beautiful bridesmaid. And as good as I looked I still had to get a lesson I must add to my Rom Com Love Life files. If you didn't know about my Rom Com Love life, go read THIS and come back.

I learned the jerks in movies that looked to hook up during a wedding do exist. I mean like the guys in the movie Wedding Crashers.

Yep, I seemed to be the prey. But did I fall for the trap?

This is not my first time being a bridesmaid. I was at the weddings of  Bestie Boo & Pink Red.

I had a crush on Bestie Boo's brother and he is now married to the woman he brought as a date.

I was attracted to the groomsmen that I walked in with at a Pink Red wedding. He was attracted to me. We talked on the phone for a while but we were not compatible and that was that.

But the guy at this recent wedding was different. I have to say had I never decided to be nice and make small talk I probably would not have been the prey.

Ok met Ridge* on the shuttle to the venue. He was loud & cranky. Plus his partying rep preceded him. Ok at the venue, his name along with mine & most of the groomsmen was a part of some "Name Shade" from the Wedding Planner. I think my attitude was written on my face. Well, when we were paired up with the groomsmen, the groomsmen gave me a nickname to diffuse the situation.

On the ride back to the hotel, he was still talking too much. Well, he pointed out WhatABurger and was raving about how good it was. And I opened my mouth & said: "Oh, I forget you guys aren't from here". And it was a flirty ride after that. SMH

Ok after the shuttle back, Bestie Boo & I did the errands the mother of the bride asked us to run before the BBQ. Got back and I was going to the elevator and here comes Ridge from the pool.

     He asked, "Are you going to help dry me off"?

     I replied "No, nature is doing a great job"
 
     "Oh, that was cold". Where did you guys go?"

     "Ran some errands for the bride's mom"
 
      "Oh cool. Duty Calls"

      The elevator gets to his floor & he says, "532"*

      I said, "Ok" But thought "No, it's just after 3." Then it hit me before I got to my floor, he was calling out his room number. SMH

After that, I didn't come in contact with Ridge until after the ceremony. I walked in with another groomsman. Well, after the grandparent’s candles were lit they moved them behind him & me. So, he & I joked about not getting burned. Then once in the foyer, we high-fived each other for not getting burned. LoL On the way to the bridal dressing suite, I felt hands on my neck & back.

I heard "Alright for not getting burned". It was Ridge.

I removed his hands and said "Stop, Drop & Roll" and went on.

Alright, reception time, since I was 1st in line, I had time to get some Advil for another groomsman, & me and my "dancing shoes".

So, I was taking my foot pic and here he comes with a flirty foot comment. So, after we ate we were grouping up discussing & taking "Met Them" pics and he gets close and said, "We can do more than that tonight if you want". The cameras are then flashing. Smile & Pose for the frame. I didn't get to take pics with the others because we hit the dance floor.

So, Bestie Boo & I were leaving the hotel. Most of our guests & the bride's aunts were still there having breakfast. So, we are waving bye, Everybody stops and he is still waving and pouting.

      I said "Bye Ridge"

Now if he was for real, he would've seen that I was waiting for Bestie Boo to bring the car around so I was in the foyer for a moment. He would've come talk to me & seen me off.

And if I thought I was through with Ridge... My fellow bridesmaid & college friend, Macy* texts me saying "Your boy was looking for you. He said nobody ever came to 532". I texted back what happened when we left.

     She said, "I thought a**holes like that only existed in the movies".

     I said "Me too. But lessons learned. Jerks are real."

Oh well, lesson learned. And as you see I didn't fall into his "easy to see" snare. You don't get this old and not know a thing or two. Maybe he thought I was dumb & country. Maybe he thought I was some desperate chunky bridesmaid. Who knows? Who Cares? Oh well, his bad!!!

Makes me wonder if this entertainment phenomenon is real, will my future husband have a Hangover plot on his way down the aisle??? Lord, let that not be in your will. LoL

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

*Names & Room Numbers have been changed*

Update (10/8/2015):
Oh, we are FBF, now. But that was just in case the headquarters pictures I am in. You will be surprised the pictures & videos still popping up. Just got a video via email from the groom that he had just received.

Oh, this is for you who didn't read between the lines. #GetOutMyInbox No, I never went to Ridge's room. We were tired!!! It was after 2:30 am before I even took a shower. Plus, let's tell the truth. I was nothing but Wedding A-word to him. Oh and the obvious, that weekend was about my friend marrying her love. 

Healthy Ways to Celebrate the 4th (Holiday Healthy)

Independence is coming soon. Time for a BBQ and Fireworks. Traditionally. we (most time just G & I) watch the fireworks display at the Fair Park from our porch (we live that close) while eating a few popsicles.

Our whole street does it. Only times I've missed "The Fireworks & Popsicles on the Porch" were the years I lived in Beaumont. Well, this year I will buy my brother, G the treats but I'll be absent. I'll be a few miles away at a wedding rehearsal BBQ for my close friend, Intellectual Diva. She getting married the next day. But I'll be on the porch in spirit.

I know we all love a good BBQ or cookout but we don't the pounds from eat so much of that good food. Well, here are a couple of recipes to help keep some of those extra lbs away. Starting with a refreshing beverage to help cool you off while enjoying yourself with your loved ones.

Lemonade Spritzers with Berry Ice Cubes (Recipe Found Here )

6-8 Servings 

Ingredients:

• 3-4 cups classic lemonade (your favorite recipe), plus more for ice cubes
• 2 cups soda water, chilled
• Raspberries
• Blueberries

Directions:

1. The night before you’re planning to serve this, make your ice cubes. Put some raspberries and blueberries into each well of an ice cube tray, and then fill each well with lemonade. Freeze overnight.
2. In a large pitcher, combine lemonade and chilled soda water. Stir to mix, and then chill until you're ready to serve.
3. To serve, put a few of your berry ice cubes into each glass, then pour lemonade/soda water mixture over the ice cubes.
4. Serve immediately. Enjoy!

** If you want, you can put the rest of your berries in the lemonade to soak. They'll infuse the lemonade with extra fruity flavor, and give it some extra color. 

I love a great tasting pasta salad.

Unless you overcook the noodles or put tofu in it (true story), you can't disappoint me with that dish. Matter of fact I just made one recently with a poppy seed dressing that was delicious. But the white pasta and all those dressings like ranch, poppy seed, mayonnaise etc are not exactly the best for us. So, if you're on for the pasta salad this year, here is a recipe that tells guests you care about their waistlines & their tastebuds.

Garden Pasta Salad (The inspiration for this recipe is found Here)

6 servings, 1 cup each

Ingredients:

• 2 cups whole-wheat rotini, (6 ounces)
• 1/3 cup low-fat plain yogurt
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoon red-wine vinegar, or lemon juice
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• Freshly ground pepper, to taste
• 1 cup cherry or grape tomatoes, halved
• 1 cup diced yellow or red bell pepper, (1 small)
• 1 cup grated carrots, (2-4 carrots)
• 1 cup baby spinach
• 1/2 cup chopped scallions, (4 scallions)
• 1/2 cup chopped pitted kalamata olives

Directions:

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Cook pasta, stirring occasionally, until just tender, 8 to 10 minutes, or according to package directions. Drain and refresh under cold running water.
2. Whisk yogurt, oil, vinegar (or lemon juice), garlic, salt and pepper in a large bowl until smooth. Add the pasta and toss to coat. Add tomatoes, bell pepper, carrots, spinach, scallions, olives; toss to coat well.
3. Cover and refrigerate for up to 1 day.

Can't leave you guys without a few tips! 

Eating at a Cookout Tips:

• Practice portion control: There are a variety of strategies for cutting back at the grill. For example, eat 1/4-lb. burgers instead of 1/3- or 1/2-lb. patties, or split a steak with your friend
• Put the sauce on the side or leave it off. A sign of good BBQ is if can be eaten sauceless.
• Load up on grilled veggies: Fill half your plate with veggies so you won't be overdoing it on the higher-calorie options. And if you want seconds, be sure to fill your plate the same way.
• Don't skip meals to try to “save” calories for later: This can lead to overeating and lead you to make poor choices due to hunger and low blood sugar.
• Oh, this is what I call a "Red Solo Cup" holiday (Refer to this Song). If you are going to drink alcohol, Drink Responsibly!!! Don't Drink & Drive!!! Don't Drink & Fight!!!

So, have fun celebrating our country's freedom. Let Freedom Ring All Around the Land!

Congratulations & Welcome to anyone taking an oath of naturalization on that day! 

Happy 4th of July!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Another Blog Year, Another Journey Coming Up

Well, Thoughts of an OUTSPOKEN_DIVA is almost 4 years (July 3rd). On the third, I'll be a tad busy with work and preparations for my weekend plans so, I'm telling you guys early of a few known new plans for the blog.

This is what I looked like 4 years ago at my birthday dinner. That dress is so big on me now. I could put a blouse under it and make it a jumper. Oh and see my short bob. I told you guys my hair was short.

This is me at this year's birthday dinner. Longer hair and fitting in a dress 5 years old and 2 sizes smaller without seeing my rolls. Still working on my arms. I was looking at my oldest aunt's arms and I think it might be hereditary among the heavier members. Regardless, I'm still lighting the kettlebells to get the jokers slimmer not hit people with them like my name is Sean Combs (He & I are too old to act that foolish).

Now as for the blog, there will be a New year-long series based healthier holiday recipes.

Do you know parable of the talents found in Matthew 25:14–30?
A master who was leaving his house to travel, and, before leaving, entrusted his property to his servants. According to the abilities of each man, one servants received five talents, the second servants received two talents, and the third servants received one talent. The property entrusted to the three manslaves was worth 8 talents, where a talent was a significant amount of money. Upon returning home, after a long absence, the master asks his three servants for an accounting of the talents he entrusted to them. The first and the second servants explain that they each put their talents to work, and have doubled the value of the property with which they were entrusted; each servants was rewarded. .The third servant, however, had merely hidden his talent, had buried it in the ground, and was punished by his master.

Well, because of  me doing a healthier soul food series, I am being rewarded and the Holiday Healthy series is a part of it. I am so glad I was not like the third servant and decided not to hide my talent.

The series is self explanatory. I will be providing healthy & helpful tips & recipes doing different holidays. Weight gain refuses to not take a vacation. So, the calories we consume on holidays count too. And this series starts right in time for Independence Day. I know many of us will be chowing down of on some cookout food if some kind. Some will even be cooking for some of these cookouts. Well, if you want to save yourself some calories & fat stay tuned. It will probably drop soon because if you are like my home, there's some shopping that needs to be done this week.

It has been a while since I told you guys anything here about a web series. That is because I have been watching them. LoL Oh there is a new one by Black & SexyTV on there new Black & Sexy Now PPV called Sexless that wrapped in May. I promise you, they have been taking notes on my life since I was 15. It's about 4 ladies (well 3 and maybe 1 depending on your definition of sex) who are all not having sex. 2 are virgins & 2 are celibate (again depending on your definition). I have been every woman on that show in some shape, form or fashion. The introduction minisodes & first episode are free on their YouTube channel. You can watch them HERE. Also the Marriage Tour season 3 HERE & Dating Savannah Love HERE (who's dating life looks a lot like mine) have started. And soon prepare for my thug tears. The web show, That Guy is ending its run with a third season. I reviewed the movie (LINK) earlier this year. Thanks to its spin-off, Being Nia & the Sexless spin-off, Chef Julian some of my questions have been answered. Ronnie will be around a little & Darryl has learned a lesson from the Judah/Stacy issue. He learned it so well he was schooling this guy named Julian well. After the series finale, I will do a farewell post to That Guy. I think as long as Judah & Deon or Mike & Deon don't start dating, I think I will be fine. We shall see.

And that is it. I'll try not to negative and be very informed about everything I post for another year. No matter the topic, I will be 100% OUTSPOKEN_DIVA. Last and Never least, Thank You to every reader of this blog. I was just typing stuff  I need to get off my brain.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms