It's the God in Answering Questions

I have a question to answer.

Q: What is your "Christian" opinion about Christian public figures like Marvin Sapp doing a song with R. Kelly or Tina Campbell voting for Trump?

A: *sigh* I don't have a "Christian" opinion, I have an Outspoken_Diva opinion. Side Note: One day I am going to be bold an talk about the "against" Christianity tone. It is amazing how harshly people talk about how harsh others are. Humans are some Harsh beings, I guess. 

You guys know I was raised not to put Christian public figure or leaders on pedestals. It takes the sting out of their disappointing human news, a lot. Marvin Sapp's song, "Closer" is on my boycott list. He admits to being conflicted. I was actually waiting on him to use the unproven stories/forgiveness/court acquittal reasons for why he is working with R. Kelly. I still will not be moved. I loved the song sung by Reuben Studdard, "I Need an Angel". Then I found out R. Kelly wrote it and like other songs by Kelly, I can't enjoy it anymore. And I liked Marvin Sapp, but the song's message can't outweigh the messenger this time. If I'm blocking my blessings, let the Lord tell me about it.

I don't measure a person's Christanity on how they politically vote. I will judgementally measure their Common Sense on how they vote. (Pray for my deliverance from being that judgemental.) Why did she vote for him based on his Christianity? I don't know. But I do know Tina Campbell didn't campaign for the 45th President of USA & is not making harsh & hateful statement against those didn't vote for him. So, I won't boycott her music. I actually agree with her on praying for the 45th President of USA. USA is my home. I need my home protected, especially while he in the White House. I also don't want him killed. Let's be honest, USA has yet to fully recovered from President John Kennedy's assassination. We don't need that craziness. As for Tina Campbell, I put her in the corner with Travis Greene & Chrisette Michelle. She needs to think about her actions long & hard, then we will call her ro come play.

As usual, send your Questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@gmail.com. I'll answer them with my OUTSPOKEN_DIVA opinion, that you seem to want.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms.

Dating Debates, Discussions, Judgements, I'm Tired

In a dating culture where Netflix & Chill and Firestick & F-word is a proper date, people judging different date activities behooves me. I saw this meme on my TL on Facebook, because my niece, blog name is Alura reposted it. She answered it "right" and now there is blog post without an auntie-niece dating discussion also. LoL

But just like I gave my opinionated judgement about the latest version of "Having a Blockbuster Night", we feel like overly debating or discussing how & where to date is the right thing to do. Why can't people date opinion free?

So what you wouldn't to go to restaurant that serves mostly cereal. Somebody (me) wouldn't want to go hiking for a date. I think I saw someone say they didn't like going to the movies. Places like Studio Movie Grill were made because many think "dinner & a movie" is a quintessential classic date. I bet that someone like going other places for dates.

We All Experience Dating the Way We Want!!!

Stop looking for opinions. That's all these "Let's Debate" memes cause. And the sad part is somebody is validating their dating life based on these opinions. If you want to go eat cereal, then hike up the hill, and cool down with a meal & film, Do It!!!

Date the way you want to Date!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

On Being Pro-Side Hug

Dear Outspoken_Diva in September 2017,

     You will be defending Side Hugs in October 2017. Child...Brace your spine. And when did you start deleting tweets? This could have had a different tone, but you don't have receipts. Letting your Lessons from 2016 slip from you. *tsk, tsk*
Love You Girl,

Outspoken_Diva After September 2017

Raise your hand if you side hugs people with a genuine heart, like me.❤ Now, take the forefinger of that hand and point at the people that hug, kiss, & say caring words to others, but don't mean it or even do it out of rote habit. Thank You!!! The popular slang as I write this is "I'm a Real One". Well let me be a "Real One" & tell why I am not just Pro-Side Hug, I'm a Side Hug Master.

I am Not in the Smothering Business. You've seen me, I have a large bust. But I am very careful with mine. I refuse to be a stereotype of a large woman. I can just see me looking like somebody's "big mama", jiggling from side to side while the person I'm hugging is turning blue.

I'm Being Respectful. Tell me when has a side hug looked inappropriate. My ex-turned pal, Rom-Com(His Story is HERE) hated for me to side hug him when he was a single man. We had this kind of discussion, years ago. Hey, I was just keeping it G-rated between us. After his father died, he sent me an email telling me he totally understood side hugs at that point. His now wife, then fiance, saw us one-arm embrace after the service and didn't trip. She also saw a former sex buddy of his give him a full embrace and was very upset. So actually, Side Hugs Keeps the Peace!!!

And of Course, Accidents Happen. Do you know how many times my bust has been sideswiped unintentionally? Do you how many awkward looks are the result of those occurrences? It's rather hard to accidentally rub up against a boob while giving a side hug. Believe me, I'm a Master, I did my research.

It just looks like a Buddy Hug to me. I hug people like this all the time. Buddy Hugs are like more intimate waves. Nothing more, darn sure can't be less.

It's not I don't ever give full embraces. I just give side ones more. So, Y'all can, can it on this Side Hugs are Fake Hugs issue. No, Fake Hugs are Fake Hugs. And again we all know there are some very fake full embraces out there.

Look at Jesus and Judas...wait that fake hug resulted in saving souls(if you believe like I do). Well, I can't think of any other widely known fake hugs, so I bid you guys adieu with a BIG Side Hug from my Heart.❤

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

The Process to Doing Better (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

I remember the first client I received that didn't cook. It was the day I had to really take to heart on why I chose a career in the food & nutrition industry. I don't understand adults who don't cook. But my personal opinionated judgements don't belong in my professional life. And not one client pay me to wag my finger about why they are coming to me for help. So, I had meet this client at his/her level of cooking & develop a plan to help them. In helping this client, I helped myself understand some(keyword) of the people who don't cook.

Many look at cooking & think it is hard, expensive, & time consuming. I will have to agree to that feeling 40% percent of the time. Have you looked at cooking shows? How many times have we, "home cooks" turned off a cooking program feeling the same way? Combine that with the confused mindsets on dieting & eating healthy & I knew I had my work cut out for me. This client could prepare some process foods, so I started him/her there.

Processed food are not all bad, in my opinion. Adding fresh or frozen vegetables to many canned soups & rice products is an easy trick to make these items a little healthier. For a quick lunch on the go, I like adding spinach & chopped or shredded carrots to chicken & rice soup. I also like adding dried fruit & toasted nuts to some side dishes also. They add more texture & raise the protein profile to the dish. Here my favorite recipe.

Easy Wild Rice Pilaf

Ingredients

• 2 tsp canola oil
• 1/4 cup finely chopped onions
• 1/4 cup finely chopped celery
• 2 boxes Long Grain & Wild Rice mix (Rice-a-Roni, Uncle Ben, ect)
• 1 cup orange juice
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/2 cup pecans roughly chopped

Directions

1. Pour the oil into a medium size pot and heat it over medium high heat.
2. After oil is heated, add the onion & celery to the pot and cook over medium heat until onion are clear.
3. Combine rice, contents of seasoning packet, juice, & water. Stir well.
4. Bring contents to a boil, reduce (low to medium-low) and simmer covered 25 minutes or until water is absorbed
5. Once rice mixture, stir in cranberries & pecans. Serve Hot!

Eating better can be done but not quickly. The thought of turning on a dime to healthy eating is drastic & off putting, to say the least. And in a culture where a lot of processed products are cheaper than fresh products, it's not reality for a portion of the population. Every little step help gets us to our goals. Maybe that why some use the word, process.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms 

ShaQuan, You Aren't Drinking That. Will You Excuse Me?

I had been missing articles to post about. Glad to have found one.

I Really Dislike Being Dressed Like Other People. If I'm in a wedding, I deal with it. But it is not a random occurance I handle well. First time I remember was at foundation church with a suit I didn't care for & an older church lady in the exact same one. She thought we were cute. In my teenage heart I could've cried, at that moment. 

I don't even like to be dress in the same color as someone I know at an event. My friends can tell you about my text messages to them, to tell what color I am wearing. I dressed alike once with a high school friend for buddy pictures. Wonder do I have any copies of that picture somewhere? We shouldn't have done that. 

This petty feeling is also a family "trait". You won't find to many pictures of any of us dressed alike. We are different people, so we dress differently.

And then low and behold, I come across an Australian news article about 6 female wedding guests in the same dress. Read it HERE. It is one of those funny situations that prompt one response, Classic!!! Can you just imagine being one of those ladies? Looking up the rows and across the aisles and seeing your dress. Where is Regine Hunter with a cocktail to pour on the other dresses? LoL But those ladies took it all in fun and made a joke out of it. They even took pictures together with the bride. I wonder if that shop sold more of those dresses once this story came out. At least, they didn't tell the ladies it was one of a kind. That would've really been a Classic Comedic moment.

The next time I am accidently dressed like someone, I going try to remember the attitudes of these lovely ladies. I mean, it is just a dress. But the keyword is Try. Until then I'm going to watch what you guys buy & buy the opposite. We don't want to awaken my inner Regine Hunter. Will you excuse me?

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Romantic Rapport (Answering Questions)

I promise there will be a glossary in the back of my memoir. Yes, please LoL at that sentence.

Q. You use the word "Romantic Rapport" a lot. Can you define it?

A. My basic definition is all forms of nom-committal dating. But you guys know I can't leave this at the basic meaning. It's my term for Dating. I don't particularly care for the current (since 2005) state of dating styles.

The current standard looks rather uber casual. No one asked for my opinion so, I deal with is out there. Well to match my over-analyzed thoughts with the "trends", I use the term Romantic Rapport. A rapport is close association of mutual respect & trust. Add that to a synonym for affection or fondness, you get a term created by my mind.

Could it be the time period between meeting & a committed relationship? Definitely Yes!!! It could also the description for an affectionate affair amongst friends. It is not limited to sex. All dates don't result in sex.

And all "dating" people are not having sex. Oh and it doesn't include pairs who are just having sex. Sex & Romance don't always function hand in hand. Booty Calls & Friends with Benefits are what I would call Sexual Rapports. That's not Dating, in my opinion that's just people having sex. Oh situationships, now that a romantic rapport. A messy one, but still under my definition. LoL

A non-committal bond of people that are attracted to one another. That how I will define Romantic Rapport. Yeah, that's it.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Being Church Hurt: Recovery Mode

Warning: If you usually respond to church "controversies" with "That Is Why I Don't...", LEAVE NOW!!! Never in the mood for those attitudes. This is MY blog. DISCUSSIONS ONLY!!!

I can honestly say God laid this post on the heart. I am a Recovering  From Church Hurt Christian. That's My Truth. Oh, and I still attend church. Not in the way people, who are not me would like. But I still attend. I'm not here to talk to the church people who hurt us. You'll understand why later. I am not even going to tell you the many ways & places, I have experienced church hurt. I want us, the "Church Hurt", to get better. There are so many people hurt by people in the church all the time. The crazy part is we don't always talk about being hurt in positive ways. Like the humans we are, we complain about how we were hurt. But what are we doing about healing hurt?

• Looked At How I Was Raised: I was raised to not drink the church's Kool-Aid without lemon. It is something that people who know that I was raised by the chairman of the deacon board, church clerk, & assistant youth director are shocked about.
  
  But yeah, I was really raised with that mindset. The best lemons I've always used were Common Sense, Study, & Understanding. Common Sense makes you hear the right or wrong that is said. Study to know for yourself and not just prove folks wrong. Understand that All people, including church folks, are just as human as you are. And humans are really flawed.

• Be Honest With Myself: In a previous POST, I said I denounce all Christian denominations as a teenager. I just wanted to be Christian. But I was a minor and had to wait until I was 18 to leave foundation church(what I call the church I grew up in). At age 20, I made the step to not go to foundation as much. But I was still going sometimes with my friends' churches, that were other Christian denominations. In that process, those churches & people annoyed me. I was really seeing their faults, but I was the one at fault. I was not being true to my feelings about Christian denominations.

• Shut Up, Leave, Find: Being "church hurt" was not the reason why I left my foundation. I just think differently than them. But when I express some of my views, most times in non-verbal ways I was hit with much judgment. The blows still hurt. One day, I quietly yet officially left. Some people find themselves being non-religious but spiritual. Some change religions. Some are still searching. I found myself on the road to healing at another church, a non-denominational church. I've gotten a few bumps by a few church folks(definition are HERE) but I am learning how to handle them.

• Learn to Respectfully Put People in Their Place: A lot of these church people know they are wrong in how they treat people. My mother taught us to put everybody(including Adults) that are out of place, in their place. But she never taught us all the positive ways how. I am learning snark, sarcasm, & shade are not the only "nice" methods. I had to learn to be respectfully honest when someone who has church hurt me in the past says, "I've been missing you". I say, "No, you haven't. Let's just Hi and don't lie" with a smile of comfort.

• Define & Show My Christianity: Nobody can love God for me. Since I chose to love him in a Christian manner, I have to follow the rules.
  
  One of the rules is "Love One Another". I am working on that. It's easy to viciously finger wag & bad mouth someone who "Church Hurts" you when they do wrong. But an eye for an eye, we all end up blind. If I hate how they treated me, acting like they do is dumb. I have to show them how to treat people. I must show them the truest meanings of two other rules, Matthew 7:1-3 & Matthew 7:12

• Pray: I made this most important step last, but it goes within every step as I recover. I have to make sure I'm doing & saying the right thing. I don't want to hurt anyone, in or out of the church. (I wonder if I have "church hurt" anyone) Only God can properly guide me. And one of the best ways to seek his guidance is in prayer.

Again I said, I'm recovering. I'm on the road to getting back to wholeness. Whole people Live Whole Lives. Hurt People Hurt People. Both statement are easy to understand. One takes work. All great things do.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms