Showing posts with label Words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Words. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Romantic Rapport (Answering Questions)

I promise there will be a glossary in the back of my memoir. Yes, please LoL at that sentence.

Q. You use the word "Romantic Rapport" a lot. Can you define it?

A. My basic definition is all forms of nom-committal dating. But you guys know I can't leave this at the basic meaning. It's my term for Dating. I don't particularly care for the current (since 2005) state of dating styles.
The current standard looks rather uber casual. No one asked for my opinion so, I deal with is out there. Well to match my over-analyzed thoughts with the "trends", I use the term Romantic Rapport. A rapport is close association of mutual respect & trust. Add that to a synonym for affection or fondness, you get a term created by my mind.

Could it be the time period between meeting & a committed relationship? Definitely Yes!!! It could also the description for an affectionate affair amongst friends. It is not limited to sex. All dates don't result in sex.
And all "dating" people are not having sex. Oh and it doesn't include pairs who are just having sex. Sex & Romance don't always function hand in hand. Booty Calls & Friends with Benefits are what I would call Sexual Rapports. That's not Dating, in my opinion that's just people having sex. Oh situationships, now that a romantic rapport. A messy one, but still under my definition. LoL

A non-committal bond of people that are attracted to one another. That how I will define Romantic Rapport. Yeah, that's it.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Monday, June 6, 2016

Pop Culture's Misuse of Words: Female

Very Smart Brothas & Buzzfeed and others have brilliantly covered this subject (click the the names to read the articles. I've shared & re-posted them.
But I guess no one was reading these articles because the misused of Female keep being disgustingly increased by more & more people. So, now you have to read a blog post based on my know-it-all chatter.

So here are some definitions (And we thank Google):
Female: of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes

Woman: the female human being, as distinguished from a girl or a man.

Girl: a female child from birth to adulthood

Lady: a woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference)

Male: of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring

Man: an adult human male or a human being of either sex; a person

Boy: a male child from birth to adulthood

Gentleman: a polite or formal way of referring to a man


People referring to woman as just female is not a new phenomenon to me. I grew up hearing numerous butt hurt, cynical men loitering around various stores, riding public transportation or loudly talking in barbershop or coed salons saying, "These females", "Females can", etc. It went along with all the other disrespectful activities including street harassment that they engaged in.
But now since that behavior is now a part of accepted pop culture (What's Cool), it is strangely easing into everyday conversation in the misuse of female is growing. About 4-5 years ago, I had to have this discussion with Alura, my niece. She was in high school and that was how she talked about girls she didn't like. She's grown age (18-20), now and she curbs the word around me most times but she still says it. Yes, I have hope in her. But the moment that made me type this post happened this past weekend. The star of a web show I really like, referred to the woman that he is in a committed relationship with as his female.Yes, he said "I Am Loyal to My Female". Previously in the interview discussion, the male co-host and he were already misusing female in their opinions about certain behaviors of women. But when he called the woman he’s dating that term, my mental brakes engaged. I almost reached through my phone to clamp his lips. Now, to my calming, his co-star, who is a woman verbally nudged him into saying lady or girlfriend. And he did.

Dear Future Boyfriend(s) and/or Husband,
Take heed! You get one time to refer to me as “My Female” or “The Female I am Dating or Married to” & I know about it. I’ll correct you once. The next time, be ready to verbal spar.

When you refer to a woman no matter how she is behaving to just a female, you have just reduced her to her biological reproductive parts. You don’t think crap about her but not confuse this person’s gender, her sex is her description. As if that woman doesn't have a heart or brain.
In the Buzzfeed article, the author makes a point. "Because nobody casually refers to men as males." What if men were talk about, mentioned based on having penis, scrotum, & testicle? That is what not only using female as the adjective (descriptive word) it says. Female can describe a human, an animal, or a plant. The proper (non-slang) definition of bitch is female dog. When alluding to a woman as just female, you may as well call her a bitch. Some of you all are using that word not to call a woman the slang version of that word anyway. So, recognize the negative take on this word.

I’m not trying to hit anyone of the head with respectability politic. I speak slang. I’ve also had screwy opinions about life that have changed. This is just my know-it-all opinion on how it makes many of us feel. Again I’ve basically heard the “female” used negatively my whole life. It is basically used to complain or disagree with the actions of a woman. When have you ever heard “These females can cook up a storm” or “Females are taking over that company”?
Record it when you do and send that to me. It’s like the attitude is Female are bad but Women are good. Make That Stop, now. Think about who all you are actually talking about when you use the word female. You are not talking about who you disagree with, but also who you agree with also. Oh and ladies if you use the term, you are included yourself, too

So, put some respect & respeck on Female. LoL It’s the disrespectful tone that is hurting us. It hurt us when it was just used in the streets. It is hurting us more since it didn’t die there. And until we stop inflicting pain on each other, I am Not finished, I am Not done.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms


Friday, June 3, 2016

Pretty Language For Sexual Violence

I know my problem is that I am a Know-It-all but come on news media get it together. Y'all see the headlines.
Teacher arrested for improper relationship with student

Police investigating alleged student-teacher relationship

Man allegedly enters car to touch child 

Woman who had sex with son’s teenage friend headed to prison

Half Of Male College Athletes Admit History Of 'Sexually Coercive' Behavior

Aren't they worded cute? We use the prettiest words for rape & molestation. I wish these headlines just call a thing a thing like Iyanla Vanzant says. And these article headlines are not worded because of creativity. They are worded because our society thinks rape & molestation are harsh & ugly words to describe rape & molestation. And it is not just me. I am in good company on social media & even a few professional clients I have. 

The headlines of newest rape case out of Aldine, Tx, has been styled in such a way that is unruled. Read it Here. I know Ms. Teacher is convinced she was in a relationship. Of course she is, if not she would not have told the police that crud. But for the news media to report it that way is crazy to me. 

Society is not dumb. We know what rape & molest mean. But I can't blame the news media because we allow them to use these words. We allow that because we use them ourselves. As a child, I heard, well, overheard adults talking to one another about a child being touched so much it is unreal. "Yeah, they found the neighbor touching on those little boys". "They put her daughter in CPS because her brother was touching her". "You weren't touched as a child, were you"?  I know a lady in her 90s whose only opinion about teacher-student rape is, "Lord, this was going on when I was in school. The men teachers were going with the girls. And the lady teachers were going with the boys. The better learn to stop". So, the news is only using the words they think we, adult are comfortable with. And until we accept that an adult having a relationship with a child is rape, we will rarely read it like we do. Man allegedly enters car to molest child can never be a headline until we stop just saying touch. Maybe the crazy attitudes about might change when we use them as the synonyms to describe their heinous acts.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms