Remember Monster Plant?

If you don't know about Monster Plant read about it HERE.

It was nice out. So, I did a little yard work, today.

Just spreading a little Weed & Feed in the yard. Turned down the last corner and I saw Monster Plant.

See, what happens when you clean up ALL your crap.

Now, I can deal with a plant that size.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Your Fat Butt Does What? (Answering Questions)

If you have questions, send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM.

Q: What is it like being a plus size Nutritionist?

A: In a world where Nutrition is seen as well-fit bodies pushing food pyramids & various weight loss products, I can admit it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

I've never been directly questioned when saying that I was one. I do see some people's face doubtful faces. But I let my life tell my story, so their face can stay like that as I go on with my work

I will admit I have had to confront some vocal misconceptions about my business because I am plus size. In 2011, I restructured my company. I decided to focus mainly on Disease Management Nutrition as opposed to Weight Loss Nutrition. I work mostly with people that have diabetes, cancers, & heart diseases. My first client was a person who is now in remission for a blood cancer.

Company history dictated that was the demographic that I had the greatest effective impact. The numbers in weight loss matched my frustration. I was only attracting people who wanted pop culture influenced, hand-holding, quick fix programs. My program is not. Now, I only take a limited number of weight loss cases a year.

Well, when word among those I network with got out that I restructured, two of my colleagues wondered was it because I was fat.

I don't expect those not educated in Nutrition to know the different facets & aspects of the specialty. I expect everyday people to only know what the mainstream has told them. But those in the Food & Diet world, especially those I have worked with, I expect better. I answered them professionally and that was that.

If my looks cause anyone to determine my food & diet knowledge, that is their problems. I have a Bachelor's degree and other certificates in Nutrition from accredited programs. It's cliche' but don't judge a book by its cover. At the end of the day, I am my favorite Weight Loss client. Any nutritionist tells you different, Run!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Can't Be Sad All the Time (Poetry Corner)

The little bard in me came by and gave me a word to share.

The Realization

Pressing My Way to Happiness

Pressing So Hard, I am Now Tired

Being Tired Makes Me Sad

So, I Rest

Such a Daunting Task

Press, Rest, Press, Rest, Press

Oh Wait

The Key is to Press More but Get Enough...

Got It!!!

Genuine Smile Back On

You know I must show proof

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

I'm THAT Single Friend

Video popped up HERE and it struck a nerve. Yes, she is clearly a "pick me", but the attitude of her message is why I purposely function as a different type of "single friend".

I have two friends that are married and 2 that are dating. My sister is also married. I realized I was thought as the stereotype of the single friend when I realized I was the go-to "Do your girl have a friend" or "My boy would like some company" friend a few times in my early to mid-20s. Not any of those guys met my basic standards and they were boring. I quietly got annoyed so, I made it my mission to never be seen or function as the stereotype of a single friend ever again.

I try my best. I've learned to not offer advice on relationships. If I do give any, I preface it with "Remember, I'm not even dating anyone".

Only a few of my friends can complain to me about baby mamas or daddies, ex-SOs, step kids, or in-laws. I'm a logical person, usually. And I hate to fight over the frivolous & petty, but I have hands & words for anybody taking advantage or just won't act right. Before I invite my married or dating friends out to ladies-only events, I make sure to have a few clues on the SO feelings about the event.

Once, a friend's former SO told the friend's mom about a planned ladies' night after hearing about it days before. I thought that was crazy for the SO to do so, but a lesson was learned. Oh, I also don't constantly commiserate about being single. Not just in front of them, I just don't. Yes, I want to be in a relationship, but not at any cost. Stereotypes whine about being single.  Next thing you know, you'll be set up on dates with guys you matched with on a secret online dating profile. And since I am only 3% favorable of dating friends or relatives of friends or relatives, an explanation of why I need to spend time with a guy is required. Just because I am single & he is single is not a viable reason.

Yeah, many of my friends' SOs or former SOs probably think I'm a weirdo. And some had to learn a new way to think. But hey, I'm just keeping our rapports as cordial as possible. Functioning as a stereotype is not an honest lifestyle for me. Being my honest self is my best way to cordial.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Don't Pat Me on My Back for My Basic Confidence

In no way, do I want to come off rude. But thanks to Pop Culture, I have to address Basic Confidence, the Plus Size Community & what the World can learn. Blame Dish Nation's coverage on Gabourey Sidibe not wanting anyone asking her "How are you confident". Read about it HERE. I agreed with Gabby and I am not shocked non-plus size people don't see the problem.

How many times have you ever thought to ask a positive behavior displaying non-fat person, why do they feel good about themselves?

Yes, I have had someone ask me that. It didn't feel good. I was in my last year at Lamar University. I was about to graduate. I had overcome a few doozies in life.

And I think I was a naturally polite until provoked kind of person. This popular guy that I never talked to before then, blog name Chaka was walking by me one day. And he said, "I see you're so positive. I mean you really have nice self-esteem, even with the way you look. How is that"? I was baffled & the only thing I said was a dry "Okay" and I walked away. But my reaction was not over. The rest of the time I was at LU, I hung my head down in despair whenever he was near. Yeah, I could react like a major jerk in my 20s. Now, I have a little more mature grasp on using my words & actions to express my feelings.

Oh yeah, let me describe Chaka. He was a non-plus size man suffering from albinism. Yeah just like me posting pictures of me at LU, me telling you that info after the story was on purpose. Are we, humans so conditioned to think that only humans that look like whatever is the standard preference of attractiveness? I would never ask that albino man why did he feel great about being popular despite how he looked.

Asking About Anyone's is Not the Compliment You Guys Think It Is.

Gabby was right. Would you ever ask Rhianna, Jenifer Lawrence, Idris Elba, or George Clooney, why are they so confident. If your answer is "You don't have to", please understand this. People who don't look like the standard preference of attractiveness have right to good self-esteem. Many of us use that right. Pop Culture's messaging tell you we don't, but exposure to more people in life will tell you a different story.

Having Good Feelings About Yourself is Not an Extraordinary Feat. It's Basic. And if Basics have to be Praised, What is Lacking in Life?

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Understanding The Greatest Love

My grandmother's flowers are coming in.
A pretty symbol of the holiday.

It was actually Palm Sunday when I started this post. I saw a long time family friend post on Facebook, "Are you in the Hosanna crowd or Hater crowd". It's refreshing to see my Favorite Holiday being broken down for anybody to understand. Because it is more than Jesus dying on the cross & rising on three days. There was a week-long path he took to get the bright & powerful day.

I never truly appreciated anyone breaking down a portion of the path until one fateful evening while I was in school in Beaumont, Tx. I was hanging out with my college buddy, blog name will be Little Lady or LL. LL lived in town. We were at her cousin's house, which was right next to the United Methodist church she attended. Some of the parishioners were gathering, LL remembered that they were having a Maundy Thursday service and decided to go with me in tow.

Please Note: This is only time in life that I have ever blindly attended a church. God had to have a plan because I usually at least have a researching conversation.

Maundy Thursday, is the Thursday before Easter, observed in the Christian Church as a commemoration of the Last Supper. It was a very enlightening service. The pastor taught from the subject, "How Would You Talk to Jesus at the Last Supper". Would we be able to notice Jesus's demeanor?  How focused would we be on what he was talking about? What do we say to Jesus?

He brought groups of twelve to sit as the disciples and talk to a cross with a crown of thorns on it at the head of the table. We all "talked" to Jesus with the pastor being in the last group to finish his lesson.

Think about it, Jesus was stressed that night. He knew what was coming for him. This was his last Passover meal with his friends. He knew one of them was going to betray him. He also had to tell one that he will deny knowing him later.  It was more than just a last Passover meal. Calvary was coming up and it was weighing on him.

And that lesson stuck with after that night. LL & I used to tease one another about what we said to Jesus that night. It is one of those bonding moments we have. She sometimes reminds me of social media when Maundy Thursday is coming up.

Oh, the road to my favorite holiday is fascinating to me. We love the "He died on the cross and rose on the 3rd day with all power in his hand". But that, not all this Greatest Love Story. Adding deeper understandings to the whole story, made me Love it even more.

Happy Easter!!!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Just Pay and Stop the Debate

I see this topic often. I didn't even know gender roles & societal norms could influence such arguments like this one. This was never a dating lesson discussed in my home. This was never a gender role lesson for me growing up. Yet, the answer is common sense to me. I'm talking about the topic, "Who pays for the date? Him, Her, or Dutch?".

1st off unless a couple is at least eight months into a committed relationship(You should be close enough to make plans together & know a few one another's financials)

or have this discussed before going to the outing, Dutch is Never an option. I've never been asked to "Go Dutch". I hope I never experience that on a date. How do you invite someone, somewhere and expected them to help you foot the bill?

My answer is Him or Her. It depends on who asked who out. Who requested the date? That's who pays. I'll never open a door in the presence of a man, but if I asked him out I pay the bill. And I have several times. I remember asking Stumpy, the Worst Boyfriend Ever about his birthday plans. He had none.

So, I took him to Cheesecake Factory. He questioned me about the bill and I just chuckled. He didn't invite me to celebrate with him. I took him out, why would I expect him to pay? If a guy asks me out, I expect for him to pay. Oh, I make sure I am quietly prepared for some foolishness, but I don't expect to pay for that date.

This is another reason why I don't go on dates before at least having 2-3 telephone conversations. And hey, if you're unsure and/or want to go Dutch, Ask!!! Believe it or not, people tend to answer with the tone of their voice.

Like I said, I wasn't taught this. I was schooled to watch his eyes, teeth, & shoes. I also was taught to not act like an opportunist & to order the priciest stuff on the menu. But I had to figure who pays for a date on my own.

If I'm "wrong" and someone can find and discuss with me some factual evidence(not Googled societal norms on manners) on why I am, be my guest. I'm always ready to learn.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!!!