People Recommend Life Like Amazon

This may be a stretch, so elongate if you have to. Want to do an experiment on how many people think sometimes? Look at your Amazon Recommendations. I loathe their algorithm for suggestions. The recommendations are very basic. I once bought a sci-fi novel by a black author. Amazon recommended a street lit title afterward. (Do any other races write street lit?) Then there was the time I downloaded Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe" and it recommended the movie, "The Jetsons". That stuff usually don't or barely match. The algorithm takes a portion of the purchase & tries to tch interests. But it is a machine, it doesn't know you personally.

The sad part is many people function like that also. Ever been told, "I thought you would like this because you like that."

Have you ever been set up on a date just because you're both the same race or sexuality? And the very popular "You probably know *insert name*, they live in *insert sizable metropolitan city*, too". Generalized suggestions, questions, and even introductions are crazy. They may be well-meaning, but they feel half-hearted, not personal.

If you really care when giving suggestions, proposals, or endorsements, learn more about a person before doing so. Take at least a slight interest in their interests.

Do not Amazon Recommend others in life. Suggestions may be taken more seriously if one does.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

An Observation: Male Self Improvement Books

Here is a question. How many male authors who write/wrote self-help or advice books for women, write/wrote them for men, also. The only name coming to my mind as I write this is Bishop T. D. Jakes. And that is because I read some of his works. I know there are more. There has to be more. I hope there are more. Let me know in the comments, please.

After reading about Love languages, of course, Amazon Kindle recommended several books that are supposed to be similar. The theme I saw couldn't be ignored. If you are a regular reader of this blog, this is a topic I've teased at before. In a previous Post, I said;

"I'm tired of some of these male self-help authors writing books for ladies but have yet to write a book for men. I can "Act Like Lady & Think Like a Man" but what is the dude I'm dating suppose to do. ...he's Just Not Into Me but let him know I just may not be into him also. The dating reaction coin works the same for both genders."

I'm kinda weirded out. First, I thought because I'm so "woke" about daily learning about myself was why it bothered me. But no, common sense wouldn't let me not see it. You click on the author's page and see only books that give advice to women. What Gives?

I sometimes wish somebody would just release the stats that women read more than men and we can call some(I will say Some) of these male authors writing only to women, Opportunist. Early talks & workshops gears to young men are good. I can't knock that. Sometimes having men only social media post is ok. But what about a manual to help your brotherhood.

Writing only to women actually is a passive aggressive way that puts the social responsibility on the female gender. Whether these male authors know it or not. "If ladies change their response to negative male behavior, the gentlemen will show up" is the only message mostly put out. But until male writers talk directly to the humans of the same gender as them, the negative behavior can try to dwindle. Some negative behaviors won't be there to have a response.

But I know, boys will be boys!

Oh and to the male authors that do write positive self-improvement and advice books for men, Thank You!!!

As Always, Talking to You In Adult Terms.

It's Another Day's Journey...(Answering Questions)

Questions Asked, Questions Answered!

Q: What do you think is the worst day(s) for a date?

A: I have a complicated relationship with Tuesdays. It's not my favorite day of the week. Trying to jog my mind and I'm rather confident that I decided years ago not to go on dates Tuesdays if all possible. Best bet is to find the day you don't ever feel your best and not go on dates on that one.

Q: Did you watch The Guy Series Finale? Any thoughts? Are you doing a review of the whole series like you did for previous web shows?

A: *Spoiler Alert*
Yeah, I after I said I wasn't, I ended up watching the much-awaited series finale of the web series, That Guy. As you know it came with drama on several sides. I refuse to talk about the drama. I don't want the tea or lemonade behind any of it. I didn't live tweet like usually would and I am not doing a review of the whole series. That Guy just ended. My "Fan Hearted Thinking" theory at the end, it was Deon(I didn't dislike Deon but as a ceremonial exit to Ms. Daniels from Black & Sexy) got hit with the bullet and she was talking at the police station or from the grave. But actually, we watched a rough draft and that's why the series finale flowed like an episode 1. The proverbial Well should've been left alone.

While Power is on, I watch

Q: You never talk about Power. Do you watch it?

A: I sure Don't watch Power. I've never seen an episode. I don't watch Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead, also. You didn't ask, but I told you anyway. It is an hour-long show well past Season 1 at this point. And I am a horrible binge watcher. Y'all have fun, though.

Q: Recently, you live-tweeted during a Sunday morning service you were at or watching. Are you looking to do that more often?

A: No, I only do that on an occasional whim. I'm not live-tweeting while at church, in person. I take out my phone at church, I'm bored. When streaming from home, live-tweeting is like me signifying with the pastor or minister or high fiving with a neighbor. My church's live feed has a Twitter plug-in. Many times I forget it's there.

But feel free to follow #tphonline, many of the e-church congregants tweet some great notes & observations. You can find some nice gems in that hashtag.

Don't forget to send your questions to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMail.com. As you see, I do answer them.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms!

Yeah, There Will be Changes

Another year of blogging for me is upon us. I've told you guys before I have no idea when & where to stop this crazy thing. When I do, you'll be the first to know.

This year there will be two changes. Change is good. Change is necessary.

Change 1: I miss giving my opinion on different stories I see on the internet or on TV. I don't do it as often as I started.

So, how about you guys send me some articles to give my opinion on? As long as they are;

• Real Stories from reputable sources. And I will verify.
• Not political. I keep my political views off this blog. I just want you to vote, that's all
• No stories that will cause me to bash anyone because of their disability, financial status, gender, health, religion/creed, race, or sexuality.

Also, my opinion can be discussed, but it not up for argument. If you want a "Yes Person", don't send any stories. Oh, if I can't give you an informed view, I will let you know via email. So like your questions, send those articles to C.Out.Spoken.Diva@gmail.com.

Change 2: I won't be doing any more hair & makeup update posts. Sorry, but they are starting to bore me. Plus, I'm not an MUA or a Beauty Influencer.

There are pictures all over this post. They're from whenever I used new products this blog year. Also, there is a length check (& a grey strand sighting) pic or two. If you are interested in a look, let me know and I'll slide that product info to you.

See, those weren't bad.

I thank everyone for reading any posts I have ever published. I'm just putting my views & mindset out there. And of course, I promise the OUTSPOKEN_DIVA blog you've come to enjoy.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

I'll Try (Answering Questions)

Yeah, I see what the youngsters are talking about sometimes. Sometimes I ignore it on purpose. Sometimes I pay attention, just in case the behavior bleeds over into my generation.

Q: We're around the same age, can you explain "pre-dating"?

A: You've been seeing that term on Twitter, too. I think I understand Pre-Dates as basically casual meet-ups guys & gals go on to "test the compatibility waters". I think they are free or dutch activities like at a park or coffee shop. They're supposed to be getting to know one another.

Before you ask, I'm not against it but not totally on board. First dates are awkward. Even after you have a couple of phone conversations as I do before going out. So, I get it. Actually, by definition, I may have gone on a few Pre-Dates in my 20s. Meeting at the bowling alley since I'm already there sounds similar. My hesitation of acceptance is because Pre-Dates screams "F-boy behavior". Couldn't "Netflix & Chill" be a possible pre-date? And one of the reasons I saw on Twitter was to check if she "worthy of a real first date, where real coins are spent." I understand dates can pricey, but that kind of guy needs to sit his cheap predatory tail down somewhere with that mindset. Maybe the lady should check if he is "worthy of her time she is spending".

So, finding out why someone is suggesting it is important. Seriously, check out those pre-dating reasonings & attitudes before meeting up & going out. Your time may be saved.

If you have questions send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM. I'll answer them the best of my ability.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

In Love, I'm Bilingual

I'm always trying to understand & better myself. For some time I heard a few folks talk about Love Languages. There are 5 of them.

• receiving gifts
• quality time
• words of affirmation
• acts of service
• physical touch

Of course, I wanted to know about mine. The obvious thought from others was words of affirmation. That's easy. I talk in quotes. That's what I do. But something felt like it was missing. So, I decided to study them for myself.

Here is a Tid Bit About Me: Books that make me re-examine my life & its choices sometimes cause me to put it down for a moment. I started The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret that Will Revolutionize Your Relationships by Gary Chapman months ago. 1/2 of the first 20% was making me look at me deeply. I had to sit with what I read and ponder a bit. But after I took it all in I found out I am Bilingual in Love. My Love Languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

My mother worked a lot while I was growing up. Sometimes she even brought work home. But on weekends & her vacation days, my siblings and I spent the best quality time with her. We didn't get things all the time, but I am very rich in social & vacation experiences with her.

Now in my adult life, I see myself putting a value on my quality time. Living life gets very busy. It is why I prefer phone calls over text messages. It is why I check on people when I can. Do you know I have never required a gift to attend a birthday event of mine? Showing up & having a good time is the best thing. Now if you want to pay for brunch, drinks, dinner, or an outing, I won't hit your hand. Gifts are nice. But I love spending quality time when I can with those I love & like.

So, I'm not actually shocked that Quality Time is as equal as Words of Affirmation. The quality time is when I get to speak & receive those words of affirmation. Oh, do I recommend the 5 Love Language books by Gary Chapman? I sure do.

But whether you read it or not, let's hang out a little and encourage one another.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms.

Conclusions After the 3rd Decade Around Sun

I Am A Weird Limited Edition.

I Am a Christian and Will Live As I Define It.

My Interests Are Extremely Different Than My Peers.

That Armadillo Ball I Form into in order to say No is helping me think.

My ability to empathize is shrinking. I really am only at a Buck Up, Buttercup level.

Colorful Outfits, Slips, Auntie Pumps, & Wedges is My Fashion Mindset. And My King Will Love Me In & Out of Them.

I'll Probably Want to Go to Huge Amusement Parks, Vegas, Times Square, or Atlantic City Before Going on a Cruise or the Beach. Those are relaxing for me.

I Still Want to Go to Australia.

Pop Culture is Dangerous.

I Like Action Films But They Are Very Loud in Theaters.

I Miss Going to the Movies All the Time.

Brunch is My Favorite Meal Despite It Being Trendy.

What Anybody Thinks About Me Really is Not Mt Business.

Being a "Good Girl" is an Annoying Stereotype, That Most Don't Want to Understand.

"Don't Believe Me Just Watch" Was Probably the Mantra for This Decade of Life.

Still, Have to Learn From My Mistakes & Choices. And Like Most, Truthfully I'm Regretfully Only Doing the Basic Work.

Wrong is Wrong and That Can Include Me.

I Should Have Named My Company, Fat Nutritionist.

My Knowledge of & Relationship with Food Must Match One Day.

It Was Refreshing to Find the Terms, Ambivert & Xennial.

Can't Box Me In.

I Love Being the Only Person Defining Me.

Well, Happy 40th Birthday to Me! Where Will My Future Thoughts Take Me? I Can't Wait to Find Out. Oh Yeah, Being Another Decade Doesn't Mean I Won't Listen to My Favorite Song!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!