Yep, She was Black & Nerdy & Awkward. And You Loved Watching Her!

The other day, a bud of mine called while he was watching Family Matters. He couldn't believe how easily Laura adapted to Steve Urkel's world, once she started dating him. I told him it was easy because Laura was a nerd or at least had nerdy qualities. Steve recognized it hidden in her beauty. He asked me to explain.

• Laura Winslow was a straight-A student, even in college.
• Steve was not just a schoolmate. Laura & he were in the same classes.
• Steve & Laura were in many classes with upperclassmen.
• In the episode, "The Way the Ball Bounces" a very tired Laura sneaks to the library to study for the PSAT.
  

Laura Winslow is not the first & only unseen & unspoken nerdy or awkward black female character in TV & Movie history. Pop Culture only likes to recognize a handful of black "uncool" characters.

What happened to Earnest?

He was cute

Most of those are male except for Winfred "Freddy" Brooks in Different World being mentioned sometimes. TV & Movies is chalked full of black ladies being nerdy & awkward. Let me run down my favorites.

Terry (Jumpin' Jack Flash) In the late 1980s, Terry was a foul mouth, 30-something-year-old, cracking code keys.

She had more online friendships than in offline land. And Jack & she were in an online romantic rapport. The ending makes us think it progressed past the computer but its origins were online. She was very stereotypical nerdy if you asked me. Oh wait, she used profane language. Only cool people do that.

Joan Clayton (Girlfriends) If it could go wonky, it did. It wasn't even hidden by her big sister-like manner. Joan was a lady full of facts & rules that she lived by. Joan was also very well-read and studied intensely studied what she read. When she joined her superior, Sharon in a book discussion that included Jackie Collins & BeBe Moore Campbell, she tried to argue about seeing allegory in the book. She loses with the ladies because she didn't read the whole book, but she knew she was right. And for people that need ideas for cosplay, I bet Joan(and some of her friends) could've helped your costume ideas be the best they could be. Joan's costume game was superb.

Evangeline Eva Dandridge (Deliver Us From Eva) Most people see the mean, pretty chick that just needs some d---. 

The biggest complaint about Eva was she was full of facts, that she loved to issue. She was a know-it-all. Eva also had a stereotypical nerd job. She was a food inspector. Food inspectors (aka on my dream job list) are full of food-related science facts & stats. She even only dines at certain restaurants. Does a popular TV nerd come to mind when you think of this behavior? And do you remember her shoe storage? Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory would hug her. But that wasn't the storyline that was presented. She just needed a man.

Taylor Mckessie (High School Musical) The only thing I like about this movie franchise is the smartest student in the school is a black girl.

She was the lead character's best friend but her story was still very important. She was the head of the Chemistry Club and became the Valedictorian in the end. Stereotypical things are reserved for nerdy characters. Monique Coleman, the actress who played her & I were proud of that role.

Mona Thorne (Half & Half) Mona was so awkward, I waited for Freddy Brooks to make an appearance as her cool cousin. Mona owned her awkwardness. She openly talked about being a fan of cartoons, indie bands, and wedged boots. She didn't always like being uncool but it was a lane she knew. There was an episode where a guy felt she was "not black enough" so she tried to "blacken up" and in the end, she was comfortable being her rhythmless self. Her awkwardness leads her to learn all about herself. And isn't that what life is about?

I tell people in offline land all the time "Beware talking nerdy to me" all the time. I see nerdy & awkwardness (and churchy) in people all the time. I guess I have a radar. I don't talk about it because the stereotype of being nerdy & awkward is uncool. "Cool" people have "uncool" qualities too. Millennials are breaking from the stereotype but most people I interact with are non-millennials. Many non-millennial-age people have yet to recognize and/or embrace those qualities in them.  Some are embracing it, and some are. But I see it, trust me I see it.

Those are some of my favorites. The list could go on and on. Kimberly Reese comes to mind. Heck, being smart was most of her storyline. Who are the unsung nerdy & awkward people you enjoy(ed) watching? Let me know in the comments.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Chicken & Watermelon, Oh Lawdy!!! (Food Know-It-All)

Please know when I finished this post, I took some time to pour love into my psyche. It is almost as bad as watching movies & TV with overt & violent racism. And I can't watch those. I had to be in the love clouds when I decided to scour the underbelly of food stereotypes. Psychologist & sociologists need to study poverty, lying, and self-hate deeper. Then go with a cyborg that is set on stun, to educate the past. I'm sorry to say this but too many people in the past Hated themselves. I knew that but not to this magnitude.

Who made the "Black folks loves them some chicken & watermelon" stereotype? A working-class Southerner in the 1800's said it about the mysterious Black people and pop culture marathon ran with it.

Since the American Civil War, traditional "slave foods" like fried chicken & watermelon have suffered a strong association with African-American stereotypes and blackface minstrelsy. The Scottish were the first Europeans to deep fry their chicken in fat (though without seasoning). The West African peoples had traditions of seasoned fried chicken (battered and cooked palm oil). Scottish frying techniques and West African seasoning techniques were combined by enslaved Africans and Black Americans in the American South.

Contrary to the textbooks, cotton & tobacco weren't the only things grown on plantations. Watermelons were many of the other agricultural goods grown. After the Civil War, newly freed black people grew, ate, and sold watermelons.  Many slaves work in the job areas they were "trained" to work previously. Also that fruit, Watermelon became a symbol of their freedom. Poor Southern farmers, became threatened by blacks’ newfound freedom. It meant that the former enslaved, that worked for the bigger competion were now competion. The Blacks were now Equals. So, they responded by making anything that black people did to be perceived to be unclean, lazy, childish, and unwanted in public places. Their rumors were widely spread through the pop culture vehicles of art, minstrel shows, & a movie called Birth of a Nation by D.W. Griffin.

For several decades in the late 19th century through to the mid-20 century, the watermelon stereotype was promoted through caricatures in print, film, sculpture and music, and as a common decorative theme on household good. Yes, I said music.
Popular songs of the time pushed the stereotypes into belief. When the ice cream man comes around and we hear "Turkey in the Straw", now. There was another song made & performed in 1919. You can listen to it HERE. Talk about a remix.

D.W. Griffith's 1915 silent movie called, Birth of a Nation is about the heroic founding of the Ku Klux Klan. If you have never watched this film, here is your warning. It Is the MOST Racist Movie Known to Man.

One scene in the movie features a group of white actors in blackface portraying lazy black elected officials acting rowdy and gross in a legislative hall. Some of the legislators are shown drinking alcohol. Others had their feet kicked up on their desks. And one of them was very flamboyantly eating fried chicken. Minstrel shows were popular to theater crowd. Actors in blackface also would be on stage joyously eating chicken & watermelon while acting slothful & idle.

But we know all these stereotypes are tied with a bow hypocrisy because Fried Chicken & Watermelon is Loved by Everyone. History said that the Scottish were the first in Europe to fry chicken. If pop culture used common sense...Wait!!! Gossip & Rumors don't function with common sense. I can imagine one of those liars in the late 19th century, smacking on a greasy drumstick telling his tale. SMH

Okay, I'm not a fan of watermelons & any watermelon flavored products. Like bananas, they're too sweet for my taste buds. I do like Fried Chicken. If you ask me who (restaurant) has the best chicken in Dallas, Tx. I will tell you Henderson's, Max's Wine Dive, & Golden Chick.

Do Not listen to anyone who says Rudy's. It is over-salted. LoL I don't eat any of it, often. It's been a while since I had Henderson's. In a previous POST, I told you about Oven Fried Chicken. It reminds me of elementary school. It is very tasty and with less fat.

Oven-Fried Chicken (Variation of the Betty Crocker recipe)

Ingredients:
• 1 cut-up whole chicken (3 to 3 1/2 pounds)
• 3 cups cold water or milk
• 1 Tbsp. garlic powder
• 2 Tbsp canola oil
• 2/3 cup baking or pancake mix
• 1 1/2 tsp paprika
• 2 tsp of dried Italian seasoning. salt free or poultry seasoning
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper

Directions:
1. Soak the chicken in cold water or milk & garlic powder for 1/2 hour to 8 hours.
2. Remove the chicken from the water or milk mixture.
3. Preheat oven to 425°F.
4. Heat oil in rectangular baking dish, 13x9x2 inches, in oven.
5. Combine the baking or pancake mix & seasonings in a plastic zip-top bag.
6. Add the chicken and shake bag to coat the chicken.
7. Place chicken, skin sides down, in dish.
8. Bake 35 minutes; turn chicken. Bake about 15 minutes longer or until juice is no longer pink when centers of thickest pieces are cut.

And yes, I don't like watermelon but many people do. They love watermelon and it is only fair to provide a fun recipe for them.

Simple Watermelon Smoothie

Ingredients:

• 2 cups frozen cubed watermelon (Every time you buy a watermelon for this purpose, cut it up in chunks and store the chunks in bags in the freezer.)
• 1 cup water
• 1 tablespoon of honey or other sweetener to taste
• a few mint and/or basil leaves, if you want to take it to the next level

Directions:

1. Blend the watermelon and the water until smooth. 
2. Add the honey and mint and blend another 10-20 seconds until mostly smooth and the consistency of a slushy.
3. Serve immediately.

“Stereotypes exist because they are useful. They reduce the tremendous complexity of the world around us into a few simple guidelines, which we use in our everyday thoughts and decisions. However, the simpler and more convenient the stereotype, the more likely it is to be inaccurate, at least in part.” ~ Stuart Oskamp

Do you like Watermelon? What restaurant makes your favorite fried chicken? Ever had Oven-Fried chicken? Do you like it? Are you trying this smoothie recipe? Answer below in the comments.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Friends With Your Ex (Answering Questions)

Got an email to answer. Yay🎉👊👍

Q. I just broke up with my love. It was mutual and I feel like I still want to be friends. I know you're friends with an ex or two. Do you have any advice?

A. I think might have covered this. Yes, I am/have been friends & friendly with a few of my exes. All Exes Can NOT Be Your Friend or You Friendly With. I am friendly JMac & Rom Com. We don't talk often but when we do, we really genuinely catch up and reminisce with one another. Football Nerd was one of my Best friends. Our friendship looked pretty much like my relationship with my other besties. My rapports with these men are/were not easy but not greatly difficult to maintain. I have 4 points for you to consider.

-Define Friendship & Define Friendly
What is Your HONEST definition? Is your ex a picture definition of it? Just "still wanting them in your life" is a wishful starting point but not a firm meaning.

Football Nerd still wanted me in his life. Our friendship was a learning experience that is not textbook in the least. WoW, that could've been a cool joint effort of a book. *sigh* I'm sitting here now reminding myself, God Loved Him Best.

-Does your ex want to be friends?
Friendship is different a relationship. It has to be mutual.
 1. Some exes just want to be Cordial when they see you and move on.

 2. Let "We Can't Be Friends" by Deborah Cox & R.L. be a guide
     -"Verbally we agreed It was over and we were through
I'm trying to compose myself"
     -"I went by Mother's, saw your car there To her you're still family, and it don't seem fair"
     -" May see me hang my head
When you come my way"
I think those lyrics are most important in considering wanting to befriend an ex. Friendship is Still a relationship.

-Draw the Line & Recognize Their Line
If it is not set properly, the friendship will be befuddled. RomCom set a line and I didn't even know we needed one.

"Let's go see the Passion of the Christ" "Let me get you home before you have to sleep on the couch" He was drawing his line. If I made one on one plans, it was always for public events before 6 pm. So, I drew my line.

-The Friendship Dynamic Can/Will Change.
It's Life!!! We all have friends that we used to be inseparable and now we talk when we get a chance. That could happen with the ex-to-friend bond also. Since JMac is not local anymore, our interaction is mostly via email.

Unless you are one of my grandfather's nieces, most people are not sending monthly newsletters to keep up. Holidays & June (both birthdays) we end up catching up then. Still my boy, life just redefined how we get to be friendly.

Oh Bonus: Side Hugs are Best. Full embraces are intimately dangerous. Keep some space between you guys.
If I was a supervillain, my name would be Side Hug Master. Many people Hate them & I'm a Master at them. 😂😂😂

Side Hugs have a Wikipedia page
👊😂👊

Hoped this helped. Keep me posted.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

I Lost a Bet 😂

Unlike Football Nerd leaving this world owing me Red Lobster & a massage, I've never squelched on a bet.

So, to honor this bet, I will tell you guys about my first kiss. Actually, it was two of them. I don't count the first one but it is apart of the bet.

First Grade: Read before you judge. In elementary school, I got to school 5- 10 minutes before the first bell. We lined up on the blacktop when it rang and a principal would tell us when to go. This day I got to the blacktop and stood against this air unit building that my grade stood next to before the bell. This boy in my class named James (I don't remember his last name) ran up to me & started humping me. I said get off me & he kisses & puts his tongue in my mouth.

I took my book bag (similar to the picture) and hit him a few times in the head. One of the fasteners cut his ear & he was bleeding. All I heard was "Why you hit him"? "Ooh, you gonna get it". "She wasn't playing". & "She didn't know this was the house".  I knew I wasn't in trouble. It was self-defense. I was ready to tell my side. James went to the nurse when the bell rang. He came to class with a band-aid in his ear. He knew he couldn't tattle. I've not seen James since the first grade. And I have a feeling with the years passed, I can't file sexual harassment. I didn't know they were playing the game, "Hide & Go Get It" for several years.

9th Grade: Fact: Freddy Krueger taught me the basics of french kissing. So, I didn't do it, boyfriend or not. Then blog name, Peter changed my views. Somehow I got to high school and thought the "boys pulling the girls they liked hair" phenomena stopped there. Peter & I had 5th period English class with a teacher who only taught for 15 minutes. After that, we were then left to our own devices. Peter would say dumb immature jokes to & about me lots of times. So, we would in up in an insult battle, I would haul off a "F*** You" and he would end it with asking "When". Then I ignored him until I guess he moved on with life. I had Mr. 15 Minutes for the next period, History. It was nothing for me to go to the restroom or the vending machine room in the Rec room after he taught. One day, I went to the vending machine to get some junk. Peter walked in.
     "Hey"
     "Hey"
     "Hug"?
I gave him a one-arm hug. He embraced me with both arms and kissed me. In my head, I said, "Oh my God, I'm tongue kissing". I started laughing because of that and he stopped. One of my History classmates walked in and I walked out & went to class.

Peter & I kissed a few more times after that in the semester. Then we stopped. Peter transferred to a school in one of the Southern county suburbs. I saw him once at a house party in that area a summer later. We said hey in passing. I looked him up before doing this post. He died in the Iraq War. RIP Peter

I would've never told this in a post. Even though I love the movie, Never Been Kissed, I always see the goofiness all over those stories. I see goofiness all in mine. Heck, I don't even actually count 1st grade. I wasn't even a participant, in my opinion. But a Bet is a Bet!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

What I Want on February 14th

As I am writing this, I have yet to see a whiney article or meme about being single during Valentine's Day. I'm prayerful I won't see that crap at all this year. Unfortunately, Side Chick Valentine's memes are galore. I should not have complimented the masses for not putting Side Chick Christmas memes out. All offthem are mean. And it's not like they're making an impact.

It's sad that low self esteem still exist. Bad mindsets & rules have done a number on All of us. And low self esteem lives within those within or without a relationship.

Take a moment and do something small for you that you would like
 -Eat the last orange
 -Paint your nails
 -Spray some cologne on
 -Try that new recipe
 -Crank the music up and dance (Defintely if it is a line dane)

Pour love into yourself
 - Read or Listen to something positive everyday
 -Track all moments of gratitude & accomplishments in an journal or a jar

Be Good to Your Physical Self
 -Eat healthy
 -Get some physical activity

Cry or Scream the Negative Out
 -If you truly Let it Go & Let it Flow, you can't pick it back up

Just got it in the mail
Uber Quick Model of this year's Valentine's Day shirt
Support one of the podcasters I like listening to
https://m.soundcloud.com/justsaywordspod/
https://teespring.com/JSWPod?utm_swu=29

Tell Someone You Love Them
 -Songwriter said, "Love isn't Love until you've given it away". When you love yourself, it tends to even bubble over to others including strangers.

So on February 14, if you love yourself then you gave me a gift. I tell you guys this every year and I Mean It, Every Year.

Everyone Love Yourself on February 14th.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

One Down, Dear God (2017 Reading Challenge)

My 2017 Reading Challenge is Banned Books. I am reading 5 Books this year that were banned from libraries in the Pre-K thru 12 schools I attended. Those books are:

• Tom Sawyer
• Huckleberry Finn
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret
• Chocolate War

And I plan to see why these works are so harmful for my young eyes back then. First up is Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.

It's Me, Margaret. Are You There God? was written in 1970 by Judy Blume. It is a young adult novel, about a 6th grade girl, Margaret who has grown up without a religious connection, because of her parents' interfaith, Christian-Jewish, marriage. The most of the book is about her search for a single religion.

The other themes involved pre-teen girls go through like puberty (first bra & first period) and feeling attracted to boys. Starting in the 1980s, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret has been frequently censored, often due to its discussions of sex & religious tone.

Growing up, I thought the title was just a skit punchline on SNL. It wasn't until the book was talked about it in I Love the 70s, that I knew it was a real book. So, I had fresh eyes reading this book. I understand why it was banned for religion but not for sex.

I also do not understand why it was banned from All the schools. I understand it not being in the elementary schools but it could've be in the middle schools right next to the Sweet Valley High books.

Let's talk sex in this book. Whoever wanted this book because of it's sexual themes never knew a pre-teen a day in their life. The most vulgar thing they did was look at a penis in a textbook & the female form in a stolen Playgirl magazine.

At a boy/girl birthday party, a kissing game was played. Isn't that when kissing games start. They had bra & period pacts in the book. Matter fact, Margaret & friends were obsessed with starting their cycles. But that seems to be normal in some girl circles. There was a female classmate already more devoloped in book. I will say the honesty in her feelings about it was spot on. I being one of those girls feels there should be more stories about girls like her.

The religious tone of this book is very biased. "Religion is Confusing" is the message. The message is very easy to understand because it is being taught stereotypically. The Jewish paternal grandmother is overbearing and lays on a few layers of the guilt. The mostly estranged maternal grandparents are Christian.

They're pictured as closed-minded and not very accepting. Then there are religion-free parents. Margaret, who is being raised without religion, decides to do a project about religion. Her parents decided she will choose a religion, if she wants when she is an adult. Naturally, they are against her project but let her do it anyway. Here's my dilemma with them. The child, who secretly talks to God all the time, is on her own to study religion.

She goes to a synagogue, a few churches, and a confessional but only once I think did Margaret's parent ask her anything about her experience. The parents seemed quite neglectful for that. As if they wanted this child to feel the way she eventually feels from the start. So, I probably would've left this book off the school book shelves, too. If schools can't be open about religion, then don't talk about it. Religion is confusing enough.

All & All, Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret was decent. It was about a pre-teen girl navigating life. It was a strangley honest tale, I like that. I still prefer Blubber by Judy Blume better. That tale of bullying wasn't banned from my school.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms