I'll Try (Answering Questions)

Yeah, I see what the youngsters are talking about sometimes. Sometimes I ignore it on purpose. Sometimes I pay attention, just in case the behavior bleeds over into my generation.

Q: We're around the same age, can you explain "pre-dating"?

A: You've been seeing that term on Twitter, too. I think I understand Pre-Dates as basically casual meet-ups guys & gals go on to "test the compatibility waters". I think they are free or dutch activities like at a park or coffee shop. They're supposed to be getting to know one another.

Before you ask, I'm not against it but not totally on board. First dates are awkward. Even after you have a couple of phone conversations as I do before going out. So, I get it. Actually, by definition, I may have gone on a few Pre-Dates in my 20s. Meeting at the bowling alley since I'm already there sounds similar. My hesitation of acceptance is because Pre-Dates screams "F-boy behavior". Couldn't "Netflix & Chill" be a possible pre-date? And one of the reasons I saw on Twitter was to check if she "worthy of a real first date, where real coins are spent." I understand dates can pricey, but that kind of guy needs to sit his cheap predatory tail down somewhere with that mindset. Maybe the lady should check if he is "worthy of her time she is spending".

So, finding out why someone is suggesting it is important. Seriously, check out those pre-dating reasonings & attitudes before meeting up & going out. Your time may be saved.

If you have questions send them to C.OUT.SPOKEN.DIVA@GMAIL.COM. I'll answer them the best of my ability.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

In Love, I'm Bilingual

I'm always trying to understand & better myself. For some time I heard a few folks talk about Love Languages. There are 5 of them.

• receiving gifts
• quality time
• words of affirmation
• acts of service
• physical touch

Of course, I wanted to know about mine. The obvious thought from others was words of affirmation. That's easy. I talk in quotes. That's what I do. But something felt like it was missing. So, I decided to study them for myself.

Here is a Tid Bit About Me: Books that make me re-examine my life & its choices sometimes cause me to put it down for a moment. I started The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret that Will Revolutionize Your Relationships by Gary Chapman months ago. 1/2 of the first 20% was making me look at me deeply. I had to sit with what I read and ponder a bit. But after I took it all in I found out I am Bilingual in Love. My Love Languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

My mother worked a lot while I was growing up. Sometimes she even brought work home. But on weekends & her vacation days, my siblings and I spent the best quality time with her. We didn't get things all the time, but I am very rich in social & vacation experiences with her.

Now in my adult life, I see myself putting a value on my quality time. Living life gets very busy. It is why I prefer phone calls over text messages. It is why I check on people when I can. Do you know I have never required a gift to attend a birthday event of mine? Showing up & having a good time is the best thing. Now if you want to pay for brunch, drinks, dinner, or an outing, I won't hit your hand. Gifts are nice. But I love spending quality time when I can with those I love & like.

So, I'm not actually shocked that Quality Time is as equal as Words of Affirmation. The quality time is when I get to speak & receive those words of affirmation. Oh, do I recommend the 5 Love Language books by Gary Chapman? I sure do.

But whether you read it or not, let's hang out a little and encourage one another.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms.

Conclusions After the 3rd Decade Around Sun

I Am A Weird Limited Edition.

I Am a Christian and Will Live As I Define It.

My Interests Are Extremely Different Than My Peers.

That Armadillo Ball I Form into in order to say No is helping me think.

My ability to empathize is shrinking. I really am only at a Buck Up, Buttercup level.

Colorful Outfits, Slips, Auntie Pumps, & Wedges is My Fashion Mindset. And My King Will Love Me In & Out of Them.

I'll Probably Want to Go to Huge Amusement Parks, Vegas, Times Square, or Atlantic City Before Going on a Cruise or the Beach. Those are relaxing for me.

I Still Want to Go to Australia.

Pop Culture is Dangerous.

I Like Action Films But They Are Very Loud in Theaters.

I Miss Going to the Movies All the Time.

Brunch is My Favorite Meal Despite It Being Trendy.

What Anybody Thinks About Me Really is Not Mt Business.

Being a "Good Girl" is an Annoying Stereotype, That Most Don't Want to Understand.

"Don't Believe Me Just Watch" Was Probably the Mantra for This Decade of Life.

Still, Have to Learn From My Mistakes & Choices. And Like Most, Truthfully I'm Regretfully Only Doing the Basic Work.

Wrong is Wrong and That Can Include Me.

I Should Have Named My Company, Fat Nutritionist.

My Knowledge of & Relationship with Food Must Match One Day.

It Was Refreshing to Find the Terms, Ambivert & Xennial.

Can't Box Me In.

I Love Being the Only Person Defining Me.

Well, Happy 40th Birthday to Me! Where Will My Future Thoughts Take Me? I Can't Wait to Find Out. Oh Yeah, Being Another Decade Doesn't Mean I Won't Listen to My Favorite Song!!!

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!!!

But Not Short on Taste (OUTSPOKEN_DIVA'S Favorite Recipes)

I eat shrimp & seafood. And yeah, I'm a Christian & nutritional consultant. There seems to be a disagreeing discussion with some of the believers. Christian means Christ. I understand that but,

• I'm not Jewish. I really think a very high percentage of my ancestors were Gentile.
• I believe in Acts 10:14-15 (Actually read the whole scripture reference HERE)

If I'm wrong, my God and I will have that discussion. And in the healthy eating world, there are some against shrimp, too "Oh but Diva, shrimp is one of the scavengers of the sea". Ok, tell me what part of a turkey or a soybean does turkey bacon or tofu come from? I can go to the sea and still find shrimp, naturally.

Shrimp is one of the rather economical seafood items A boiled medium shrimp provides about 7 calories, which means a dozen is less than 85 calories. 15 less than a baked chicken breast that is the size of a deck of cards in thickness and width. I only indulge sometimes, because shrimp can raise your cholesterol slightly. It is a lean protein that fools people into not realizing that fact.

One of the best things about traveling is trying new culinary dishes. Especially the indulgent ones. I think every time I have been to the DMV, I've discovered something new to try. At brunch once in Maryland, I got a chance to have Shrimp Newburg. I also noticed how the locals were dishing it on their plates. So, when in Rome...

It was so great, I had to recreate it once I got home. I put my low sodium/lesser fat spin on it and my household thought it was good. So now, it is in the recipe rotation.

Shrimp & Surimi Newburg over Saffron Rice & Collard Greens

Ingredients

• 2 tsp unsalted butter
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 cups 1% milk
• 2 tsp cornstarch
• ¼ cup white wine
• 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1/2 lb imitation crab (surimi)

• Saffron or Yellow Rice(Prepared According to the Package)
• Vegan Collard Green (Recipe is HERE)

Directions

1. Heat a large saucepan over medium heat. Add butter, onion, and garlic. Saute until tender.
2. Add white wine
3. Combine milk and cornstarch. Whisk until smooth and add to saucepan.
4. Cook until slightly thickened, then add shrimp. Cook for another 3 minutes until shrimp is pink.
5. Add the crab (surimi) and stir for 1 more minute
6. Serve over greens & saffron rice.

The company, Diet Solutions know I Love them. They provided me with this delicious recipe that is good for Meat-less meals & low carb diets. I am a person that follows & suggests both regiments. Egg Rolls Bowls are also low in calories. Making this dish a nice winner.

Shrimp Egg Roll Bowls
Ingredients

• 2 Tbsp. vegetable or canola oil
• 1 lb. peeled and deveined shrimp
• 6 cups coleslaw mix 
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tablespoon ginger, minced
• 1 tablespoon low-sodium soy sauce
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil

Directions

1. Heat 1 Tbsp. of the oil in a large nonstick skillet or wok over medium-high. Cook shrimp for 2 minutes per side, until cooked through. Transfer to a plate.
2. Add the coleslaw mix, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce to the wok/skillet with them. Cook for 3-4 minutes or until the cabbage has softened a bit.
3. Return the shrimp to the wok/skillet
4. Remove from the heat and top with the green onions and drizzle with sesame oil.
5. Serve immediately.

So to my fellow shrimp eaters, try these and let me know how you feel about them. I have a few friends who have. They loved these recipes. I hope you also add them to your shrimp meal ideas.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Me Music (June is Black Music Month)

June is Black Music Appreciation Month. According to Wikipedia, it was initiated as Black Music Month by President Jimmy Carter who,

on June 7, 1979, decreed that June would be the month of black music. Similar presidential proclamations have been made annually since then. This year, let's talk about the music that actually describes me. There are songs I can relate to. Then there are songs, I swear was made with me in mine.

She's a 337 Caramel Cutie.

No, I'm a 214, through & through. But the rest of the lyrics to this Zydeco ditty are me. We can dally all day, any day, but I'm not easy. If I give me easily, he did too. And I don't want an easy man, because I'm not...

Oak Cliff, that's their hood. I am a

Southern Gul. I remember when South Dallas was the Only place in Dallas where you could get two pieces of chicken & pepper. And if your finger waves didn't last all night (actually a week) long, you were deemed unworthy to wear finger waves. Erykah Badu & her boy, Rahzel gave a true ode to my home area.

🎶Big D Little a Double l as🎶

Those ladies, right above walk to the beat of this song, The Men All Pause. They believe they took the Best in dresses & skirts. Yet, they can also feel great in the right pair of pants. They have actually stopped a male conversation or two, just by walking in. So, why not walk to the beat to this song's drummer?

🎶It is like that red Sprite, you can't imagine.🎶 Aquemini is the best Outcast album ever. Everybody was grooving to the handclaps of Rosa Park & the recurring horns in SpottieOttieDopaliscious. I also shaking a load off & not worrying what another n-word think. Man, that's Liberation and baby, I want it.

Want to see my confidence shine play the song featured, Ebony Eyes. Here are some of the lyrics

She's a Miss Beautiful Supreme

A girl that others wish that they could be

If there are seven wonders of the world

Then I know she's gotta be number one

She's a girl that can't be beat

Born and raised on ghetto streets

She's a devastating beauty

A pretty girl with Ebony Eyes

I really think that song is about me. And it has great dance beat. I've taken a dance break or a few during the harmonica breakdown. Just a very fun song that tells everyone about me.

So, get to know me through song that tells you who I am. Hover & Click on each song title. Songs that tell you about how I walk. Songs that tell you about where I live. And even songs that tell you how I free my mind. Enjoy My Me Music!!!

Oh, in the comments let know what songs describe you. I like learning about others via music. 🎶Getting to Know You. Getting to Know All About You🎶

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

15 vs 4

That picture below is about to be 15 years old. I know some of you didn't see that picture before 4 years ago, when my companion in the photo, Football Nerd left this world for New Life. Facebook has a feature, "On This Day" to remind users of past posts. I don't think I'll ever need FB to remind me of this time, 4 years ago. 4 years ago, grief instantly ensconced me like a new skin. It feels good to not wake up to yourself crying this time of the year. It feels good not write grief poetry all the time. It feels good to think of good memories first.

I saw that photo today and I first thought was that my Bachelor's degree is going to be 15 years old in August. I don't care what anyone else will call it. I call that a victory.

So yeah, I pick 15. A photo of a young lady who had just received her Bachelor's degree in Family Consumer Science with an emphasis in Food & Nutrition. She standing with a man she "used to date", as they figure out how to be "just friends". They will form their own definition years later.  It was his graduation gown she had on because her robe was too short for her graduation sundress. So, he loaned her his. She returned it to him, an hour later at Cheddar's during lunch. She still has her gown, hanging on a door in her home. And she will always wonder why that little girl has a scowl on her face. It was a happy day. She needed to smile if she was going to in the picture.

Good memories versus Bad Memories, of course, choose the Good. Especially since you get a choice. I choose to be blessed that knew a man blog named Football Nerd. It's the best choice.

As Always Talking to You In Adult Terms

Ovencue, Slow Cookercue But Not BBQ (OUTSPOKEN_SIVA's Favorite Recipes)

Memorial Day Weekend is thought to be the start of "BBQ Season". I live in Texas, so grills & smokers may blaze year-round. But many people light their grills & smokers for the first time of the year on the last weekend in May. Shout out to the people who actually can barbeque, grill, & smoke food. I love a good smoked chicken. I can't 'cue or smoke food. And the only grilling I do is on an electric, indoor one.

And I don't say I can barbecue. I also don't label my dishes BBQ when they are not. Pouring barbecue sauce on it doesn't make it BBQ. Yes, it seems nit-picky & some think I am rude, but I will ask how was the BBQ chicken made at a non-BBQ restaurant.

If I hear baked, slow cooked or pan seared, I'm ordering something else. Growing up my mom, MuhDiva called baked meat in BBQ sauce, Oven-cue. I now use that term, too. And if I cook the meat in a slow cooker with BBQ sauce, I call that Slow Cooker-Cue.

I have only been cooking via slow cooker for a few years. My first year, I jumped head first in cooking almost everything in one. Ribs were no exception. This recipe is one I found on the net that I put my touches on. A few hours in sauce & cola, the meat can literally fall off the bone.

Slow Cooker-Cue Ribs

Ingredients

• 4 lbs pork spareribs
• 1/4 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
• 1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
• 1/2 tsp. Onion Powder
• 1 Tblsp. Italian Seasoning
• 1 18oz bottle Barbecue Sauce
• 1 cup Coca-Cola

Directions

1. Spray inside of 4 to 5 qt slow cooker with cooking spray.
2. Remove inner skin from ribs.
3. Mix spices together
4. Rub mixture into ribs.
5. Cut ribs into 4 in pieces.
6. Layer ribs in slow cooker.
7. Combine Italian dressing, BBQ Sauce and Coke in a bowl, mix well, reserve ½ cup, then pour remainder of sauce over ribs in slow cooker.
8. Cover and cook on low setting 8 to 9 hours or until tender
9. When ribs are done, remove from slow cooker and brush on remaining ½ cup of sauce before serving

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. MuhDiva makes the best Oven-cue Chicken. Once I turned down an invite to one of my favorite eateries because she was making it. It's a simple dish. And many times, simple is best.

Oven-Cue Chicken Breasts

Ingredients

• 4 bone-in Chicken Breast Halved
• 1/2 cup Italian dressing
• 1 1/2 teaspoons smoked paprika
• 1/4 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
• 1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
• 1/2 tsp. Onion Powder
• 1 cup favorite prepared BBQ sauce

Directions

1. Put cleaned & trimmed chicken breast halves and place in a large ziptop bag.
2. Combine Italian dressing & smoked paprika in a small bowl and pour over chicken.
3. Let chicken marinate for at least an hour, up to 24 in the fridge.
4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
5. Remove chicken from bag and place on a baking sheet. Season with pepper, onion & garlic powders.
6. Bake for 30 minutes and brush a layer of BBQ sauce on the chicken. Pour the BbQ sauce onto chicken Return to the oven for 30 more minutes
7. Let chicken rest for 10 minutes before serving.

Both of these go well with your favorite salads or vegetable sides that are usually served at a bbq or cookout.

Just something for us who don't have outdoor cooking skills. No, it's not the hickory smoked tastiness from your favorite BBQ spot. But it's still delicious!

As Always Talking to You In Adult Term