Pop Culture's Misuse of Words: Female

Very Smart Brothas & Buzzfeed and others have brilliantly covered this subject (click the the names to read the articles. I've shared & re-posted them.

But I guess no one was reading these articles because the misused of Female keep being disgustingly increased by more & more people. So, now you have to read a blog post based on my know-it-all chatter.

So here are some definitions (And we thank Google):
Female: of or denoting the sex that can bear offspring or produce eggs, distinguished biologically by the production of gametes (ova) that can be fertilized by male gametes

Woman: the female human being, as distinguished from a girl or a man.

Girl: a female child from birth to adulthood

Lady: a woman (used as a polite or old-fashioned form of reference)

Male: of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring

Man: an adult human male or a human being of either sex; a person

Boy: a male child from birth to adulthood

Gentleman: a polite or formal way of referring to a man

People referring to woman as just female is not a new phenomenon to me. I grew up hearing numerous butt hurt, cynical men loitering around various stores, riding public transportation or loudly talking in barbershop or coed salons saying, "These females", "Females can", etc. It went along with all the other disrespectful activities including street harassment that they engaged in.

But now since that behavior is now a part of accepted pop culture (What's Cool), it is strangely easing into everyday conversation in the misuse of female is growing. About 4-5 years ago, I had to have this discussion with Alura, my niece. She was in high school and that was how she talked about girls she didn't like. She's grown age (18-20), now and she curbs the word around me most times but she still says it. Yes, I have hope in her. But the moment that made me type this post happened this past weekend. The star of a web show I really like, referred to the woman that he is in a committed relationship with as his female.Yes, he said "I Am Loyal to My Female". Previously in the interview discussion, the male co-host and he were already misusing female in their opinions about certain behaviors of women. But when he called the woman he’s dating that term, my mental brakes engaged. I almost reached through my phone to clamp his lips. Now, to my calming, his co-star, who is a woman verbally nudged him into saying lady or girlfriend. And he did.

Dear Future Boyfriend(s) and/or Husband,

Take heed! You get one time to refer to me as “My Female” or “The Female I am Dating or Married to” & I know about it. I’ll correct you once. The next time, be ready to verbal spar.

When you refer to a woman no matter how she is behaving to just a female, you have just reduced her to her biological reproductive parts. You don’t think crap about her but not confuse this person’s gender, her sex is her description. As if that woman doesn't have a heart or brain.

In the Buzzfeed article, the author makes a point. "Because nobody casually refers to men as males." What if men were talk about, mentioned based on having penis, scrotum, & testicle? That is what not only using female as the adjective (descriptive word) it says. Female can describe a human, an animal, or a plant. The proper (non-slang) definition of bitch is female dog. When alluding to a woman as just female, you may as well call her a bitch. Some of you all are using that word not to call a woman the slang version of that word anyway. So, recognize the negative take on this word.

I’m not trying to hit anyone of the head with respectability politic. I speak slang. I’ve also had screwy opinions about life that have changed. This is just my know-it-all opinion on how it makes many of us feel. Again I’ve basically heard the “female” used negatively my whole life. It is basically used to complain or disagree with the actions of a woman. When have you ever heard “These females can cook up a storm” or “Females are taking over that company”?

Record it when you do and send that to me. It’s like the attitude is Female are bad but Women are good. Make That Stop, now. Think about who all you are actually talking about when you use the word female. You are not talking about who you disagree with, but also who you agree with also. Oh and ladies if you use the term, you are included yourself, too

So, put some respect & respeck on Female. LoL It’s the disrespectful tone that is hurting us. It hurt us when it was just used in the streets. It is hurting us more since it didn’t die there. And until we stop inflicting pain on each other, I am Not finished, I am Not done.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

My Ideal First Date

I don't know what I have been wasting my first date thoughts and time on but it gets tweaked now. Ok, to pass the time working on paperwork, budgets & blogging, I listen to podcasts & web-based talk shows. I am listening to one about the latest X-Men movie, now. Well, this weekend I was watching/listening to a show and ideal first dates came up. One of the guests described a breakfast date. Well, my mind started swirling with one question. When asked what would I like to do for a first date, why have I never said, Let's go to brunch.

I reduced going to dinner for a first date, some time ago. If dinner must be the first date, it has to be on a Friday, probably at a dinner & a movie theater, and the date must end by 8 pm. I'm not for that nightcap then too tired to drive and the foolishness it brings. The night is young. He's not too tired to go home. Plus, dinner dates have a lot of pressure on them. Most times I am tired and now I have to put on nicer clothes and pay attention. Breakfast is not a good time for me because I am not a morning person. Most days, I spend before 9 am not talking. If I am at home, my family of all adults is sleep. I get paperwork done or I am traveling to meet the client. If I have a client before 9 am, they are just dropping off their packets. So, many of my first dates are during the afternoon around lunchtime. And if it is during the week unless it is a holiday or we are both off, those are rushed and very direct. So, brunch is actually perfect for a date.

I love brunch! I go to brunch with family & friends a lot. I mean like I have more pictures & check-ins on Facebook at brunch.

My Bestie Boo, LJ got us ladies these shirts
That's TT & Love and didn't want to ask them permission to post the picture
LoL

Brunch has a much more casual, easygoing vibe. Especially a Sunday brunch, I probably been to church or at least watch an online service, so I am probably is a very good mood. Oh, and if the guy is a guy that goes church at the traditional 11 hours, there are brunch spots still serving until 3 or 4 pm. Brunch is casual without feeling frugal. There's a novelty to a brunch date that you don't get with dinner. Very few branches are expensive. I wouldn't dare suggest an extremely expensive place for a first date, That is gross.

Most restaurants that serve brunch, the food feels familiar without being dull. Also takes away from me, an omnivore (eat a balance of animal & plant-based food) to judge a possible carnivore. I mean who can turn down fruit salad. LoL If things are going well, we have time to hang out walk the meal off at a park or a mall. Alternatively, if things aren't going well, having important errands or a 3 o'clock service at church (so churchy) doesn't sound like an outlandish lie. And again unlike dinner, it is daylight. The chances of the guy wanting to make out or hook up are lessened. It is early enough for him to go home.

So, when I get asked to pick a date & time to go out for the first time, I will start suggesting brunch. I blame society's dating culture on blocking my view from a brunch date. I am enough of a society girl, why let it dictate when & where I go on a date. Now, I want some fruit salad.

 As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Pretty Language For Sexual Violence

I know my problem is that I am a Know-It-all but come on news media get it together. Y'all see the headlines.

Teacher arrested for improper relationship with student

Police investigating alleged student-teacher relationship

Man allegedly enters car to touch child 

Woman who had sex with son’s teenage friend headed to prison

Half Of Male College Athletes Admit History Of 'Sexually Coercive' Behavior

Aren't they worded cute? We use the prettiest words for rape & molestation. I wish these headlines just call a thing a thing like Iyanla Vanzant says. And these article headlines are not worded because of creativity. They are worded because our society thinks rape & molestation are harsh & ugly words to describe rape & molestation. And it is not just me. I am in good company on social media & even a few professional clients I have. 

The headlines of newest rape case out of Aldine, Tx, has been styled in such a way that is unruled. Read it Here. I know Ms. Teacher is convinced she was in a relationship. Of course she is, if not she would not have told the police that crud. But for the news media to report it that way is crazy to me. 

Society is not dumb. We know what rape & molest mean. But I can't blame the news media because we allow them to use these words. We allow that because we use them ourselves. As a child, I heard, well, overheard adults talking to one another about a child being touched so much it is unreal. "Yeah, they found the neighbor touching on those little boys". "They put her daughter in CPS because her brother was touching her". "You weren't touched as a child, were you"?  I know a lady in her 90s whose only opinion about teacher-student rape is, "Lord, this was going on when I was in school. The men teachers were going with the girls. And the lady teachers were going with the boys. The better learn to stop". So, the news is only using the words they think we, adult are comfortable with. And until we accept that an adult having a relationship with a child is rape, we will rarely read it like we do. Man allegedly enters car to molest child can never be a headline until we stop just saying touch. Maybe the crazy attitudes about might change when we use them as the synonyms to describe their heinous acts.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Juneteenth and the Heart That Doesn't Pump Soda (Healthy Holiday Recipes)

Okay, I am Black & Texan so, I have had my fair share of Juneteenth celebrations in my life. I remember my first Juneteenth concert. I was 12 and was going to see the R&B group Hi-Five at the Black Rodeo in Fair Park with my sister & her friends. I shaved & nicked my legs so I could look grown-up up. Then it started storming so, the concert got canceled. Yeah, I still shave (not nick) my legs. Because I am a grown-up. LoL

Oh, what is Juneteenth? Maybe somebody doesn’t know. Every year, I find another soul that doesn't know. Juneteenth is the oldest known celebration commemorating the ending of slavery in the United States. In 1862, the North won the Civil War and President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation that freed the slaves. It was effective January 1, 1863 (Research the history of Watch Night services in black churches) But the news didn’t reach Texas until June 19, 1,865 on the coast of Galveston. Yes, the news got to Texas, two years later. Texas was not a battle zone so, it took it a while. Yes, I am giving you the textbook version. *wink* You don't need my opinion (Shh! I might give it to you on Twitter). Juneteenth is a ceremonial celebration in Black communities, that was of course started in Texas that spread to the other states by former Texans. According to Wikipedia, In 1980, Texas was the first state to establish Juneteenth as a state holiday under legislation introduced by freshman Democratic state representative Al Edwards. Juneteenth is a "partial staffing holiday" in the state; government offices do not close but some employees use a "floating holiday" to take the day off. By 2008, nearly half of US states observed the holiday as a ceremonial observance. As of May 2014, when the Maryland legislature approved official recognition of the holiday, 43 of the 50 U.S. states and the District of Columbia have recognized Juneteenth as either a state holiday or ceremonial holiday, a day of observance. States that do not recognize it are Arizona, Hawaii, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Utah.

Most Juneteenth festivities are small in comparison to other US observations. They may include rodeos, concerts, self-empowerment rallies & prayer services. Barbeque, fish, and lots of vegetable dishes are prepared in the many that our ancestors of the time may have prepared then. I know in my home we eat a soul food-like meal in observance. The most synonymous item to Juneteenth is Red Soda. And Yes, there is history to the soda. Slaves were free. They could get work & get paid. They could get married legally. And they could buy an expensive novelty, Red Soda Water (that’s what we call it here in DFW). Some say that the red is a symbol of the blood, the life force of the slaves. Last year, I was a judge for a Juneteenth food contest. I was actually judging vegetarian side dishes. Well, I wanted something other than the water, I was drinking to cleanse my palate between dishes. I forgot where I was and went looking for something other than Red soda water. Then I was disturbed. All this emphasis on healthy food dishes but the only drinks available are soda & water. So, I decided to make this blog post dedicated to those of us who want another option. A couple of the recipes even have a little sugar in them. But if you don’t consume sugar at all, just replace it with your choice of sweetening alternative.

No drink screams summer like Lemonade. The cut-up lemons look like little rays of sunshine. Little meanings of a new day for our freed ancestors. The "Red" soda that was coveted at the time was strawberry. Add strawberries to the lemons and make a crimson-colored, refreshing drink.

"Red" Lemonade
Ingredients
• 8 large strawberries, halved
• 2 tablespoons white sugar
• 7 cups water, divided
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 cups freshly squeezed lemon juice

Directions
1. Place strawberries in a blender; top with 2 tablespoons sugar.
2. Pour 1 cup water over sugared strawberries.
3. Blend until strawberry chunks transform into juice.
4. Combine strawberry juice, 6 cups water, 1 cup sugar, and lemon juice in a large pitcher; stir until blended.
5. Chill before serving.

I love drinking Hibiscus tea, but I'm a tea drinker. I think I drink most teas except Southern sweet tea (Yep, I need some lemon in that) and Rooibos/Red Bush Tea (The good show, The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency's choice in tea is sketchy) Hibiscus has a tart cranberry taste. And like ginger, hibiscus tea aids in digestion. It also helps lowers cholesterol & the treatment of hypertension (*hint, hint*). So if you serve this fresh drink, you'll be giving your guests a little health benefit also. 

Hibiscus-and-Ginger Iced Tea
Ingredients
• 1⁄2 cup water
• 1⁄2 cup sugar
• One 3" piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
• 4 hibiscus tea bags (I like TAZO)
• 8 cups water, room temperature
• Ice

Directions
Make the ginger simple syrup:
1. Combine the sugar and 1⁄2 cup of water in a 2-quart saucepan.
2. Bring to a boil and let syrup cook for 3 minutes, stirring until all of the sugar is dissolved.
3. Remove the pot from heat and add the grated ginger.
4. Let syrup cool completely and strain. Set the syrup aside.

Make the hibiscus tea:
1. In a 4-quart saucepan, pour 4 cups of water over the tea bags and place the pot over low heat.
2. Bring the water to a slow simmer and let cook for 5 minutes.
3. Turn off the heat and let the tea steep for another 5 minutes.
4. Strain into a pitcher and add in the remaining 4 cups of water.
5. Fill the pitcher with ice.

To serve, pour tea into glasses and stir in ginger syrup, sweetening to taste.

It's June and watermelon will be at most outside events. Yes, it being a fruit salad is typical but why not make it a cooling drink?

Watermelon Picnic Punch

Ingredients
• 1 oblong seedless watermelon (about 8 pounds) • ¾ cup fresh lime juice • 2 cups club soda For garnish: (optional) • Fresh mint • Lime slices

Directions
1. Slice the top sixth of your watermelon lengthwise using a sharp knife. (Don’t worry if it’s not exactly a sixth. Just cut a “lid” off that exposes enough of the melon to hollow it out easily, okay?)
2. Scoop out the flesh of the watermelon until the rind is left with minimal pink showing.
3. Save the watermelon hull to be used as a "Bowl"
4. In a blender or food processor, puree the watermelon in batches.
5. Strain the puree through a fine-mesh strainer, and discard the solids. It should make about 9 cups of watermelon juice.
6. Pour the watermelon juice back into the watermelon punch bowl. Add the lime juice and club soda and stir to combine.
7. Add ice to your sparkling watermelon punch bowl & ladle punch over ice and garnish with fresh mint and lime slices.

I never said that I didn’t drink soda. One day, I won’t but I try to limit myself to 4 a week. I just don’t like being limited to it.  If our ancestors knew how crappy that stuff was, they probably would not have consumed it. But they didn’t, we do. They lived & died for us not to be limited. So, let’s break free!!!

Oh, this the last post of Healthy Holiday Recipe series. I thank you all for coming by and letting me whet your palate with my little knowledge. You guys do Not know what kind of blessing you guys have been. I will bring another food-related series soon, so stay tuned.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms!

Please Act Like Adults in the Digital World!!!

Oh, this is a Twitter & Google + exclusive! Ummm, I can't trust Facebook with this one.

I have issues with Adult-age people not handling life's situations like Adults. It is my humble opinion that once a person is 25 years old, they are a full-fledged Adult. That is enough time to get the excitement of 21 and legal out of your system. And for some reason between 0-25, too many people didn't learn how to handle conflict maturely. We see it everywhere, politics, church, "reality" TV, school, business, and of course including the World Wide Web. I don't interact well with people who can't resolve conflict like Adults. People will tell you how many times I have (Actually still currently am) let people stew & brew because they are upset with me until they come to me as an Adult with their issue. All of them are people who don't handle conflict maturely & I refuse to deal with it unless it becomes a life or death problem. And my intolerance is immature dispute are increasing in girth.

Hence, why I can't release this to Facebook. I'm sorry and you guys can tell my FBF, that are not subscribers but the percentage of childish fighting on my TL is great. Oh, and 95% of my FBF is over 25. Heck, 95% of that 95% is over 30. And I'll be daggum if somebody comes to this post and says "Put a Name On It". I see that a lot only on FB 

Well, earlier today I was looking through my Timeline on Twitter for lunch and I saw they were an issue dealing with a site I like, Black Girls Nerds. Short story is that a podcast(ran by adult-age people) was upset that many media outlets & others had been giving others (Black Girl Nerds being one) credit for Twitter hashtags (Some I have used. Some I have not.) that they came up with. I understood their anger but some of their bullets were hitting Not just the media outlets but Black Girl Nerds, also. The podcast was not fully researched at all about Black Girl Nerd. If it were, those shots wouldn't have been fired. Oh also, Adults Do Their Research. (And yes, those media outlets & others are guilty of that too) But my main issue was that this is an ongoing frustration (Years) with these Adult-age people but the first time non-listeners and those accidentally getting credit knew of it were on a rage-filled public podcast.

There was No Adult conversation, first. Dang!!! Folks love shooting emails to complain. This was an appropriate time to slide through a DM. But that's The Game!!! Strike first and then calmly deal with the fallout. Yes, the podcast did apologize to Black Girl Nerds, and the media outlet that "straw that broke the podcast's back" is doing a retraction. The problem is what could have been a moment to unite is now an accusation-filled mess. It could have been avoided but not letting things fester and then blow. Adults Talk!!!

Adults of the World, we must do better. Because let's tell the truth unless we are all cyber tough guys, how we respond to online issues is much time indicative to how we respond offline.

And yes, I said "WE". I'm not perfect. That's why I decreased my interaction with those with horrible conflict resolution. Trust me, snarky clap backs have replaced rage & cuss word-filled responses. I took years to work on my argument style and I hate taking the refresher courses.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

What's Been Added to My Makeup Collection?

A few weeks ago I was talking makeup vlogs & products with my niece, Alura & my BFF, Love and it occurred to me that I had not updated you guys on some of my "needed" products. Somebody might want to know if my makeup items have changed. Yes, there have been some.

I was going to do this post last week, then Prince died and like many I was pretty bummed. Oh Prince with his perfect eyeliner. Whoever is getting his unused eyeliners will be blessed. Prince was never seen with running eyeliner, unlike my sinus attack having self. That another reason why I am a makeup free maven most days.

Well, my first makeup changes started about this time last year. ID was preparing us for her wedding. She mentioned that we will be doing our own face foundation for the wedding. Guess who didn't wear foundation? You guess it. The last time I wore foundation had to be my senior prom and I just borrowed my mother's Prescriptives because we are the same skin tone. At the same time, I was running out of face and eye primer and Avon, in its usual fashion had discontinued what I was using.

So, I researched on YouTube what drugstore products my favorite beauty vloggers were wearing (Because I don't wear foundation so, I wasn't going to pay $$$ for it) and I found some real nice gems. Avon's loss became gains for Covergirl, NYX and Rimmel London. I am in love with these products. Paired with my NYX Setting Spray, They are the base of my fabulous bridesmaid look for ID's wedding. Their staying power was great. Here is a little pictorial timeline on how well my makeup stayed on.

It's about 3pm, right before I got dressed.
Makeup was about 3-4 hours old and it still looked fresh. 

Still looks good at 8:30pm as I just danced into the
reception after the wedding ceremony and taking pictures outside.

At 10:30pm, I've had dinner . Now taking pictures with "Ridge" and others.
Oh, what do we see? A shiny forehead!

The only thing I ever touched up once was my lip before outside pictures. And after dinner, I didn't even touch that up any more. See, Avon that could have been you, but no you got rid of the stuff that once worked. Now my heart belongs to others. My next update is a indulgent one. I had been hearing about Beauty Blenders for a while. But the $20 price tag at Sephora was one I could not justify. Then while buying hair supplies on the Sally's website in September 2015, I came across a Beauty Blender dupe from Face Secrets.

Yeah, I just used it
But it is lilac

My Face on New Years Day

They had them 2 for 1 so, I added that to my order and checked out. I gave the other two to my niece & my Bestie, T.T. (Who is a great MUA, whose brain I pick for the makeup trends). I like this sponge. It blends my foundation (the bottom) & concealer (the tip) much better than brushes for me, It also feels better than brushes. I just wash it with hand soap and water after every use. It is a nice inexpensive investment. Now fast forward to this year, 2016.

I was purchasing Queasy Drops for my motion sickness in Target and I saw these eye makeup pencil brushes on clearance. The brand is a popular one called ELF (Eye, Face, Lips) that I hadn't tried yet. So, I indulged. LoL I sent a picture to T.T. and she gave me a thumbs up because of the brand. Then I hit pan on my Revlon blush. Blush is a product I own both an expensive one & an inexpensive one. Now, in a previous post I said I was protesting Revlon until the CEO leaves. And once my Revlon products run out I am buying another brand.

Well, I had to look up another brand of inexpensive blush to buy. Well, highlighting is the trend and I saw that Hard Candy had baked blushes with the highlighter in the same container. I got one in the color, Punch.

It has been a learning adventure with both. I was lining my eyes with what I was suppose to fill my brows with. My cheeks appeared sweaty because of too much highlight.

But, I finally got the hang of the products. I was on my way to a divorce party and I knew I looked extra cute. Well, I did before my sinuses were attacked and my eyeliner smudged. But like seen in that picture next to Prince, I was still cute. And yes, I will be discussing the hair in another post. I like the blush color on me. It give me the right touch of color on my cheeks. And the brushes are really a cool help with my cat eye.

So, that's an update on what new or new-to-me makeup products I have been using. Oh I have new lip & eye colors but I change those often. These products featured are not things I change up often. I might have to look for a new primer or start buying this one in bulk. My sister, A was trying to buy some and the shelves are sometimes empty. Rimmel, don't be like Avon. Do Not Discontinue the Stay Matte Primer, Please. Maybe if I beg for it to stay forever, it will. Keyword is Maybe!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Jesus Reigns...Oh The Prince Influence

I have been fighting doing a Prince blog post, because I had a feeling of where it would lead to. I figured since I feature him in a post (Read it HERE), I didn't need. Prince Rogers Nelson has passed away. Like many I have cry and watched various specials in his memory. 

I can't put Purple Pain in the DVD yet, I am not ready. And I am kicking myself that I don't also own his other movies, Under the Cherry Moon & Graffiti Bridge. I don't believe he is gone to soon because God doesn't not make mistakes. But yeah I was not through listening to his works. I hope his unreleased vault is opened but if not we will jam all the music that was released.

I don't remember music without Prince. I was a little girl (under 10) when Purple Rain came to cable. It was the 1st grown up movie that I actually "understood". I even understood that The Kid was upset with Apollonia for being friends with Morris & Jerome. He was so upset that he wrote a mean song that made her cry & run out. Later, I understood that he called a whore (without profane language) with that song. That is one of my first memories of Prince & his music. But it is not my favorite. I can imagine a few churches incorporating his music in worship periods, this weekend. I saw one on a Facebook post (Praise His Name & He Made a Way) and it is the reason why I am blogging on this topic. Bishop Paul S. Morton had a Prince moment during his song, Let It Rain (Yes, I provided the LINK) in 2003. But none of it, ran through my head like this memory from 2001 when I was a student at Lamar University in Beaumont, Tx. I went to church with Football Nerd. I think the church was called Triumph. Fact about Me: If I don't know a worship song, the worship team has one verse to catch my attention. Well, somebody must have told this group. The chords played sound very familiar. The verse was very touching. Then they got to the chorus. 

♫Jesus Reigns, Jesus Reigns

Jesus Reigns, Jesus Reigns

I Want to Tell the Whole Wide World That Jesus Reigns♫

I was stunned. Folks was running and shouting to the Lord.

Football Nerd snarked "If you were worshiping, you would not have noticed the song" You know I gave him side eye. (Years later he said he didn't remember saying that) The Worship Team had rearranged Purple Rain for worship. Like the Youtube Video I found as an example above. It did it's intended job because the spirit was high all service long. When they say Prince's influence stretched to all genres of music, It really did. Hey it touched even a church in small town America. I wonder if Triumph sang Jesus Reign for worship this weekend. Hope they did. 

Prince will miss. But his music & his impact will live on. RIP Prince

Oh I'm Okay!!!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms