New Series Announcement (Not Interested in Dating)

Well I have to say it was very cathartic to tell you guys why I don't date church leaders. Then a few phone calls rolled in from a few guys who felt like they didn't have a shot if I wasn't dating church leaders. So I spent a few minute explaining that my dating criteria is not moral worth based. If a church leader is better than they are in dating me that is another issue they need to deal with.  My dating interests are very vast different. I have some many types that I will date, I'll be my whole life telling you guys. I'll never have time to date them. So now "Not Interested in Dating..." is a new series where I will talk about the types of men that I probably won't date. That is a smaller list. These are guys that are involved in legal & positive lives that are just not my cup of tea.

Yes, I said legal & positive lives. It's no secret I don't date criminals (caught or not caught yet) (blue collar, white collars, no collar, drug dealers, pedophiles, molesters, thieves, hackers, murderers etc.) and know about it. I don't date liars, cheaters (married, non-married, down-low), rude jerks, those with low self-image, lazy, okay with being uneducated, & aimless. Plus if you  hit or regularly disrespect woman, you need to not look in my direction. That's not positive. That's drama waiting to happen. Those are givens. No one should be dating those people, in my opinion. But I'm still single and these hot messes... ooh I'm sounding bitter, whoa Nelly.

But there are some very good biologically born males (Umm No, I don't date women or strapped on, hormone induced or surgically made men) out there that I know are not my glass of wine and I am more than likely not their cup of coffee. So I don't usually try to mix the two containers. Some of them I have tried to clink glasses with and the mix didn't tastes so kosher. You'll see in future blog posts.

As Always Talking to You in Adult Terms

Not Interesting in Dating…

I was on Facebook and I saw a post of a former classmate and I remembered when I ran into that classmate in the club. We were catching up and she was shocked that I was even there and the fact I was single and said “I thought you would be married to a pastor by now”.  I know I had a WTH facial expression to her statement because I do not date Pastors, Associate Ministers, Deacons or any important church leaders. If you see me dating one, Know that that was an act of God. God personally came to me and said “Date Him”! It is not because I am not worthy or a dislike to them. Life just had funny way of crafting my taste in men.

I grew up in the home of the Chairman of the Deacons at my foundation (childhood home church). He was my late grandfather. It’s after 7 pm now as I type this. We have had dinner and now we are resting and watching TV. Do you know how mind boggling it is for the doorbell to ring or the phone to ring because somebody needs to be let inside the church or the alarm is going off and can he come turn it off or let them in? What about the call to say somebody died? Many of you got to go home right after church. Nope, not me or anyone else that rode to church with my grandfather (yeah I know we could’ve walked because we lived around the corner, down the street and across the street from the church but we didn’t okay(inner city living)) because he had to be in a few brief meetings, sometimes help lock up, and do other things deacons do. Most times it would be no more than thirty minutes but there were a few occasions that the time was longer. Also my grandfather had to keep many secrets. Some stuff he couldn’t tell my grandmother and family. I know many that tell their wives and families what is discussed in meetings, my grandfather did not discussed nothing that was not common knowledge or did not involve us (dangerous or non-dangerous). If he did, it was to pick our brains and we were sworn to strict confidence. 

Okay, I was the granddaughter of a deacon. Think about the family of the Pastor. Most of those times if my family was waiting, the first lady was waiting also for the pastor. I loved that lady, God rest her soul. One day, I put myself in her shoes. Life as a child in the home the Deacon Chairman was no way near as crazy as hers. On top of the most of the stuff my grandfather did, add Members, Church Leaders, & Other Pastors calling your house for your husband all day and night. Your spouse having to be at hospitals, funerals, meetings, churches, conventions and other places all the time. It’s his job. Then add the floozies that go after married men and the chicks that just want to snag them a preacher that would drive me insane.  My life with my grandfather was a breeze compared to her. I knew then I don’t think I am made for life with a church leader. Not a bad life at all. I just don't think it's my life.

This does not mean I don’t require the men I date to be God-fearing Christians. We need to be equally yoked even in dating. I believe what I believe and he need to believe in what I believe too. I know there are good men (even some nice-looking men) I am excluding but I’ve seen that life I don’t want get any closer to it than I already have. I will say God may change my heart and the love of my life may be a church leader but he’s still working on me and maybe that is an area that he will work on. Maybe! *smile*

So yeah, I showed her. LMBO Just because I was a "church girl" to her doesn't mean to box me in a pick my type of man. As you see on the outside looking in doesn't make you know the whole story.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

WITH YOUR RUDE @SS (Gay Gossip Edition)

I told y’all this series was coming back. And here it is. If you are new to this series, here are the previous blogs in it With Your Rude @ss (Short Hair Edition) & With Your Rude @ss (Big Bust Edition). Today’s entry of this is about something that many don’t think is rude, but it is. 

What makes it okay ask if someone is Gay? The only good reason I can think of is if you are looking to have a romantic rapport with that person. If that is not the case, What business is it of yours?

I don’t understand asking anyone that. I have had many people ask me if a friend, relative, neighbor, church member (current & former), & celebrity is gay. I used to avoid answering. Now I am pretty rude about asking me that. Oh I ask the inquirer; “Why?” “Do they want to date them?” “Do yoi know someone who is interested?” and of “Does this question make the inquirer a better person?”. Oh and afterwards I give them a hearty “Mind your business” or “Quit being nosy & gossipy”. Sure they think I am a jerk for my response but to me they are being a jerk for asking me about somebody else love life.

People are the worst about asking about celebrities. This morning I saw numerous tweets flooding my timeline and comment of several FB posted article wondering about Queen Latifah’s sexuality. Just last month a relative ask if we knew if Maya Angelou was a lesbian. I told that relative I wasn’t checking for her because I was not trying to date her. I then explain my stance on worrying about if people are hetero or homo is their sexuality (Yes, I got a “Why the heck did I ask you" look that I get all the time from my family) From the non-famous to famous talk show hosts, people are always wanting to know which celebrities are gay. There is oddly amazing to me.

It is amazing to me because of all the things humans think are right or wrongs someone’s sexuality is the only thing man thinks is okay to blatantly ask about. No one ever just unashamedly ask if someone is fornicating, had an abortion, murdered anyone, is an adulterer, or is a spousal abuser (which it's rude to ask about also) just because. Then why is someone’s sexuality thought to be up for regular discussion. It’s rude and if you ever ask me expect for me to give the answer you want. Stop asking that rude mess. It’s not our business.

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

I Like PBS

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I do my share of hash tagging. I also participate in a few trending topics (TT). Well Saturday night I saw #BlackGirlNerdDatingTips and I had to tweet my tips. Well one of my tweets was “If you haven't watched PBS since you stopped watching Sesame Street, give me the remote & never return #BlackGirlNerdDatingTips”.  A few people retweeted my tweet and even a few guys admitted to still watching PBS. Well this blog topic was born.

I remember during the 2012 Presidential debate and everyone was up in arms because Mitt Romney said his plan to defund PBS. I remembering going to Twitter (Oh you think I’m frank & candid here on Blogger. On Twitter, I don’t hold anything back.) to complain at anyone complaining about defunding PBS when most of them haven’t watched it since childhood. I also said if they cared about PBS start watching it. I don’t want to hear it. My family got cable when I was 3 in the 80’s. I watched both "Sesame Street" & "Pinwheel" (aging myself) on Nickelodeon. So no excuse. People don't watch because it's not pop culture TV. Well Downton Abby is pop culture (No I don't watch that particular show. Ran into my "Boardwalk Empire" & "Treme" watching), but most of it's programming is not.  How many of you reading this actually watch PBS? Wait, how many of you watch PBS other than the children’s programming with your little one(s)?

Well I like watching PBS. After I left the “Sesame Street”, “Reading Rainbow” & “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood” Stages, there is where I discovered a show called “Degrassi Junior High” that then turned into “Degrassi High”. It was about some of characters that are now parents, guardians, teachers & principals on the current Degrassi: The Next Generation (I have teenage niece). I also used to watch a wonderful cook named “Justin Wilson”. I gar-on-tee I could smell his cooking through the screen. Then I graduated to "Austin City Limits" (music showcase), & "Great Performances" (plays & musical). Now they also have PBS World (I think it’s just World now) so my viewership has really increased because I also watch" AfroPop", "Independent Lens", "America Reframed", "Global Voices", & "POV." When Tavis Smiley left BET I nicely follow him over PBS to watch his talk show. When the Cambridge police falsely arrested Henry Louis Gates, I knew they didn’t watch PBS because he has a few shows ("Unchained Memories", "African American Lives", "Finding Your Roots", & "Faces of America") on there. How do I know about "Mr. Bean"? I watched him and his funny antics on PBS. That is just some of the stuff I watch on PBS. I won’t go into Saturdays spent watching "Religion & Ethics Newsweekly" & "American Masters". I also won’t talk about randomly singing The Dragon Tales & Bob the Builder theme songs because Yes, I Can!!!

Now, I never got into "Nova", "Red Dwarf', "The Red Green Show" or "This Old House". But at least fans of these show are watching PBS and like it like I do. They didn’t abandon it after “Electric Company” or “TeleTubbies” went off the air or only watch it when the teacher put “Eyes on the Prize” on during February. So yeah don’t question me for watching PBS. Watch it or Leave!

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

OUTSPOKEN_DIVA The TV Show

Ok so I got a chance to catch Blerd (Black + Nerd) Chat on Twitter. I don’t get to catch it often. Tonight’s topic was Diversity in TV Entertainment. It is very fun. Thursday at 6pm CST on Twitter join #blerdchat Of course unless your life is the pop culture definition of life, you like me are not truly seen on TV. Well my mind started swirling with what would the perfect show about me, OUTSPOKEN_DIVA be like. I started laughing at the perfect possibilities.

1.       I’m Christian and not ashamed of it. Since I don’t believe in most of the cons of going to church especially a black church of course I have to show my character going to church sometime.

2.       I’m Plus Size, Wear Comfortable Trendy clothing & shoes, shapewear & stockings and still rock a relaxer 85% of the time without a weave Probably will show my awkward attack by Team Natural and lamenting to my Naturalista sister, family & friends about it (Team Natural has become a negative and Naturalista is a term of endearment for me (was supposed to write a blog but life got in the way)

3.       I’m Formally Educated and I still live in the hood So I’ll have a basic professional job. Probably the job I initially went to college for…School Nurse, more than likely in the public school system. I’ll have the neighbors who don’t understand why I don’t hang with them often and don’t understand why they like me. Oh and the occasional newspaper will gets stolen (that really happens some weeks)

4.       I’m Single, Over 30 and Comfortable with it. So my occasional dating life would be shown. Probably would have an up & down romantic rapport with some longtime pal. Give myself a When will they… storyline

5.       Social Life is occasional but it will awkward. I have to stay true to my Social life. See me get geeked up about going out, see me try to fashionably dress myself to go out, go out and depending on the situation have a good time or not. I actually do know how to line dance well. So no bumping into people off beat. Maybe goofily learning the latest one. Oh I will have a “club” name, one for the white or multi-racial clubs and one for predominantly black clubs like in real life.

6.       Oh I am a Southerner (Texas). I live in a metropolitan area.  I will not have an annoying Southern Drawl (like in the movie Jason’s Lyric (I can’t stand that movie for that reason) Wait maybe my dislike for that movie can be a topic). But I will go to a State Fair, the weather will be hot in the spring, summer, & fall and cold in the winter time and there would be some southern sayings pop up (well except "Make Groceries" (I've never made those))

7.       Yes I’ll have family & friends that will reflect my real life ones. I have a diverse group of friends (relationship status, sexuality, gender, race, wait everyone is a Christian oh but wait they are all different denominations)

8.       Avid Book reader. Probably see me with a E-reader, Tablet, or book 60% of the time. Oh and I will represent writing a blog, being on Twitter and Facebook and not understanding why Myspace is still the fad anymore. Oh and my love for Web Shows & Indie Films.

9.       Still like stuff from my Childhood in the 80’s and Teen Years in the 90’s So I’ll have nostalgia moment that lead to flashbacks

I know missed something. Now I wrote this blog so if I see my story come across a screen I want my credit. Ha Ha, Heck, I will sue. So who would watch a show about me? Does it sound fun? What would your show be about? Would I want to watch it? Talk about diversity. Humph, Pop Culture would not know how to handle my story. I’ll freak Pop Culture out. *evil laugh*

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

I Like: Independent Movies

I am sort of purist when it comes to telling a story. Just tell the story well and let the rest follow. Hollywood in my opinion does not understand that sometimes. But Hollywood is what drives & dictates pop culture so many of its followers are blinded to the beauty of just plain storytelling. This is the reason why Independent Films are mock with descriptions as “Low-Budget”, “Kitchen-Made”, and “Bootlegged”. But the funny part about the mocking names, many Best Picture Oscar winners like “Crash” & “Slumdog Millionaire” are Independent Films. So some of independent films have taking those mocking descriptions and opened nice bank accounts. So poo on those always down independent films and here some of my favorites

My favorite movie of all time is an independent film. It is call “Amour Infinity: A Brooklyn Love Story”.  

I first saw it on TV and I fell in love with the story. Two people are in a relationship but one’s life’s laid path is already known to that person. This story make you consider what love is. It also examines friendship, parenthood, and infidelity. I love this movie. It is such a pure story.

The epitome of a Thanksgiving movie is an indie gem call “Pieces of April”. 

April decides to cook her first Thanksgiving dinner for her family in the home that she shares with her boyfriend. As her conservative family travels to April’s apartment, anything that could go wrong, goes wrong. This movie stars a younger Dereck Luke, shortly after his starting role as “Antwon Fischer” and the future former Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes in the title role.  A “Before They Stars” facts.

 

 

 

 Like “Crash” many big stars are in independent movies even when they are known stars. “House of D”, “Lars and the Real Girl” and “She Hate Me” have big star powers. Never heard of “House of D”?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bet you have heard of David Duchovny, Tea Leoni, Erykah Badu, and Robin Williams. They take part in a tale of an American man who tell his Parisian wife about the year he turned 13 on the night of their son’s 13^th birthday. Robin Williams deserves an Oscar for his portrayal of the mentally challenged, Pappas.

Lars is a recluse who make a sex doll his girlfriend, while his family and the town watch and play along. “” stars Ryan Gosling of “The Notebook” fame. The trailer to the movie "Her" reminds me of "Lars and the Real Girl"

Star power is rampart in “She Hate Me”. A hilarious story where a corporate whistle blower turn to impregnating lesbians to make ends meet has Woody Harrleson, Ellen Barkin, Ossie Davis, Jim Brown and Kerry Washington in it. I chased this movie to HBO because at the time, it was only at the Angelika and by the time I was able to get to it, the movie was not in theater. It finally saw it on HBO and I saw the movie’s stars mysterious eyes and heard his bold speech and instantly put him on the “Eye Candy” list and he has stayed put since that day. That man’s name is Anthony Mackie. Yep, this is the movie where first discovered him.

All the actors on my “Eye Candy” list have been in Independent Films at one point in their careers. I have seen all and own but one of the indie films that Lamman Rucker has been in. I don’t own “I'm Through with White Girls (The Inevitable Undoing of Jay Brooks)”, yet.

Non-Stereotypical black guy who dates white women think that every time the relationship goes wrong it’s the race of the woman is the problem. So he goes cold turkey dating them and develops code “Brown Sugar” seek out a compatible black woman for him to date. The title caught my eye. Lamman Rucker being Jay’s best friend made me watch it. The funny storyline made me love it. It is on my “to buy” list on Amazon. Anyone that would love to blessed me with this DVD will be more that welcomed to.  

 

 

 

 

 So those are some of the indie films I love. I don’t like all of them. Still don’t understand how “Slum Dog Millionaire” got all the accolades. The story did nothing for me. It’s just my cup of tea in stories. Any guys out there wanting to date me. A trip to the Angelika is better than a trip to my favorite restaurant, Cheesecake Factory. A trip to the Angelika and to Cheesecake Factory is even better. *smile* *chuckle* I’m just a simple lady who like a good story. That’s all!!!  

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

 

Just the “Other Woman”

I refuse to watch “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane” with anyone other than my mother. I only live discuss Scandal on Twitter. I avoid opinion pieces about both shows and movie of Being Mary Jane. Why? I get tired of the popular perception of these two characters as only being the “Side Line Chick”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman”. You know the woman that is Knowingly Sleeping with a Married Man. I first became of the perception when my BFF, who doesn’t watch Scandal, thought that the show was about Olivia Pope sleeping with the TV POTUS because of what she saw in her news feed on Facebook.

Amazing how many of us know, have been or are the “Side Line Chick”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman”. Oh these women are not new and unless infidelity or cheating is infinitely abolished from the face of the Earth won’t be going anywhere. I’ve been the first one to say I don’t understand the women and men might I add who are these people. But how dare we reduce these people to just “Side Line Chick (Dude)”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman (Man)”. Actually we don’t reduce them to that.  They are still our friends, loved ones, co-workers, associates or ourselves, living other parts of life other than having sex with someone who is married.

 So why do we describe a TV character by just that? I know it’s just TV but gosh is that the only thing people are getting from these characters. Mary Jane is a TV News Journalist who is a loving friend, a daughter who is supporting her parents, siblings and other family members. All while juggling her romantic life one that may or may not include a married man and another non-committal man (The show just started Episode 1). Out of all that the first thing people want to describe her as is a “Side Piece”. If memory serves correct Mary Jane didn’t start off knowing she was sleeping with a married man in the movie. And it was the end of the first episode after she fought to stay away from the guy that she finally sleep with him again. Okay I’ll leave that alone.

I love Olivia Pope. Not because she is sleeping with the TV POTUS. I love her because she is “The Fixer”. She and her gang of Gladiators gets other people out of Scandals. Also if memory serves in the beginning of this show also “she was not sleeping with TV POTUS anymore. Actually, she had declare war on him and the TV White House. She didn’t lure him, he chased and continues to chase her. And let’s talk about that. The women are the called “Other Women” but in both cases, neither lured those men into those relationships. Actually the men did the enticing and pursuing. Yet no one talks about their gross dog a-words for doing that. Men get to be men yet the women are the bad guys getting unsophisticated descriptions.

Again I know these are TV characters but I think they were made to show that the “Strong Black Woman” is a myth. She has cracks in her armor. The ladies being a part of an extra-marital affair in one of their crack among many flaws they have. Stop only describing them by that one.

So let’s try it again. Who is Mary Jane Paul? What is Sandal about?

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms