Just the “Other Woman”

I refuse to watch “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane” with anyone other than my mother. I only live discuss Scandal on Twitter. I avoid opinion pieces about both shows and movie of Being Mary Jane. Why? I get tired of the popular perception of these two characters as only being the “Side Line Chick”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman”. You know the woman that is Knowingly Sleeping with a Married Man. I first became of the perception when my BFF, who doesn’t watch Scandal, thought that the show was about Olivia Pope sleeping with the TV POTUS because of what she saw in her news feed on Facebook.

Amazing how many of us know, have been or are the “Side Line Chick”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman”. Oh these women are not new and unless infidelity or cheating is infinitely abolished from the face of the Earth won’t be going anywhere. I’ve been the first one to say I don’t understand the women and men might I add who are these people. But how dare we reduce these people to just “Side Line Chick (Dude)”, “Side Piece” or the “Other Woman (Man)”. Actually we don’t reduce them to that.  They are still our friends, loved ones, co-workers, associates or ourselves, living other parts of life other than having sex with someone who is married.

 So why do we describe a TV character by just that? I know it’s just TV but gosh is that the only thing people are getting from these characters. Mary Jane is a TV News Journalist who is a loving friend, a daughter who is supporting her parents, siblings and other family members. All while juggling her romantic life one that may or may not include a married man and another non-committal man (The show just started Episode 1). Out of all that the first thing people want to describe her as is a “Side Piece”. If memory serves correct Mary Jane didn’t start off knowing she was sleeping with a married man in the movie. And it was the end of the first episode after she fought to stay away from the guy that she finally sleep with him again. Okay I’ll leave that alone.

I love Olivia Pope. Not because she is sleeping with the TV POTUS. I love her because she is “The Fixer”. She and her gang of Gladiators gets other people out of Scandals. Also if memory serves in the beginning of this show also “she was not sleeping with TV POTUS anymore. Actually, she had declare war on him and the TV White House. She didn’t lure him, he chased and continues to chase her. And let’s talk about that. The women are the called “Other Women” but in both cases, neither lured those men into those relationships. Actually the men did the enticing and pursuing. Yet no one talks about their gross dog a-words for doing that. Men get to be men yet the women are the bad guys getting unsophisticated descriptions.

Again I know these are TV characters but I think they were made to show that the “Strong Black Woman” is a myth. She has cracks in her armor. The ladies being a part of an extra-marital affair in one of their crack among many flaws they have. Stop only describing them by that one.

So let’s try it again. Who is Mary Jane Paul? What is Sandal about?

As Always, Talking to You in Adult Terms

Girl Code Conversation

Spoiler Alert Warning. Did you watch the latest episode of The Game? No! Did you want to? Yes! Then Stop Reading This Now!!!

On the latest episode of The Game, the singer Ciara (she plays herself on the show) finds out her friend, Keira, slept with a guy, Blue, she slept with previously. She didn't handle it well. Keira's defense was she only Ciara only slept with him once in a One Night Stand situation. Ciara still felt that "The Girl Code" was violated and currently not speaking to Keira

Ladies, are we having the "Girl Code" conversation with our friends? I know I've touch on this subject before but it seems like it needs to be discussed in depth. What is the Girl Code? Yes, it a good show on MTV that came out ten years to late. I could have been GREAT on that show. I am talking about THE GIRL CODE.  According to Internet and me, Girl Code is the rules of female friendship Every Girl should know. Madame Noire gives a good top ten list (http://madamenoire.com/44987/girl-code-10-friendship-commandments-every-girl-should-know/). Check it out! So, we know what it is, well at least the top ten. Do you have a code? Are we actually talking about them with our friends? Do we just wait until a random subject arises and talk about them? Do you wait until a problem arises and talk about them?

I don't think You can't get mad at the offenders of the Girl Code in your life if you never say I follow these set of rules. It didn't seem like Ciara & Keira did. Girl Code seems not to be always universal. Every Friendship (actually every person) bases their codes on different set of rules. Some folks share men/women within the friendship. Some people are okay if you date their ex. I have friends that it is understood don't touch my man, exes, crushes or any man I've ever slept with (even the whack ones). Some friends I've had to "Girl Code" about a man. My friends know we're not Twins or a Singing Group and I don't want to dress alike. I don't even want to be in the same color most times. Somebody has to change. I have and I will again. I have friends who feel whatever they tell you it is okay to tell and talk about it with others in the group when they other are around. I also have a friend or two that will beat everybody involved if they find you said they said they sneezed. My friends know that if they get the disclaimer "I Bet Not Hear This Again" from me, then mums the word. No disclaimer, then it a free for all to tell.

The "Girl Code" Conversation is more than just a Do/Don't list do this to be friends with anyone. It should be an open discussion to help strengthen your friendship or let people realize we are not a good fit to be friends. A lot fights could be avoided if ladies were having a Girl Code conversations.

What is your Girl Code with your friends? Has anyone ever broken your Girl Code? Are they still your friend? Have you ever been a Girl Code Offender? Leave a comment below and then go have a Girl Code talk with your friends, even if you've had it before. You never know somebody might need a reminding. *smiles*

MLK Memorial Ceremony News Coverage

Okay Roland Martin has his perspective, here’s OUTSPOKEN_DIVA’s on the coverage of the Martin Luther King Memorial ceremony on Sunday morning. First off KUDOS (yes big ones) to the stations of BET, Centric, CNN & TV One for covering the Memorial ceremony, when others did not. It was slap in the face to see the Big Three, ABC, CBS, and NBC going on with their programming as usual. All the news pundit shows could have been with held for one Sunday for coverage of the historical event. And I will not buy into the excuse because it was rescheduled because of the earthquake & hurricane on its original date. Organizers gave suitable notice of the rescheduled date so programming still could have been modified. I think the big Three could have covered the ceremony. What about those that do not have cable, internet, or satellite? How would they have watched the ceremony if they wanted to watch it?


Of what I was able to see and hear I was a very good ceremony. I hope to visit the memorial one day. Add to my Atlanta experience of the King Memorial there.


Yes I said of what I got to hear and see of the televised ceremony. Though TV One & CNN had the better coverage than BET & Centric (I know they are the same folks), they all are guilty of talking way too much at the wrong time. Do newscasters ever understand that no one cares what you think? I would have liked to here the choir sing or Al Sharpton’s whole speech without flipping channels without to see whose not discussing when the Obama Family arrived or running a commercial. I think most coverage of this event was only to show the President’s address. Ed Gordon et al. were talking during the introduction of Obama. Seriously? And that was very unfair for those of us not able to be there in person. Newscasters give your opinion while no one is up at the microphone speaking or performing. And keep it short because if you have something to say somebody else has an opinion to.

As Roland Martin says That’s my perspective, What’s Yours? ROTFLOL