The Decision has Been Made, Just Be Still

Exactly Today 4 years ago, I was told my father passed away on Christmas Day. Exactly Today 4 years ago, I also saw God's Word make a decision that in a way, man's eyes & understanding will never comprehend.
I was a child of marital separation. I was a child of a deadbeat father. My parents separated when I was 3 months old. I didn't know for them to be together and never cared for them to be together. Even as a child, I knew we (my siblings & I) were better off with a single mother. No fighting parents (stepparent for my siblings). My mother never talked badly about my father. But he (who I mostly saw by random accidents) talked bad about her and her family, the family that raised me. Especially my grandfather, who was my main father figure. So by the time I was 21, I decided he & I didn't share values, goals, respect for life & people, & being in each other's lives would not be likely. The last time I spoke to my father was a year before his passing when he called to tell me his mother died. He caught up on my life (college graduate & business owner) and finally sound less bitter about my mother and family.

During the time after My father passed, I was packing for a long-awaited trip out of town to see my college friends. My mother told me who & how she was told. I was very sad but I was still packing and planning to go out of town the next day, the day of his viewing, two days before his funeral. My sister & aunts called and all I could tell them was, don't have that announced at their church. My cousin called to set the time to drop me at the airport. I finally went into a deep inward prayer mode. I'm sad but I still packing. I'm sad but I'm not angry. I'm sad but not guilty that I'm going out of town. That morning my cousin came with the paper & I saw the obituary. I saw my name as one of the survivors. Then I went to the airport still in this prayer mode. Got my ticket, went through the security point, and was waiting on the plane. My inward prayer was getting louder in my soul. "Lord, I don't understand my behavior. I'm sad but I'm still going out of town. Am I guilty for not being guilty? Lord, Let your will be done because it's the only one that matters." To the natural eye, I was just sitting there. "Lean not to thy own understanding" came to my mind. Then I thanked God for my father because without him I wouldn't be alive nor have the good life I had. Then I was reminded of the scripture "Be Still & Know I am God" and I was at peace. I shrugged and said, "Why be fake? To sit on a front row to shake shiver, and cry next to some "family member" you don't know, would be so fake".

I went on my trip and came back to a funeral program from a minister who questioned my family about my absence waiting for me. I came home to a funeral program full of memories of a life that I didn't know of waiting for me. Like a funeral program of a stranger. Yep, I made the right decision for me. The Real Me. I always said when that day came, the Lord would help. And an ever-present help, he is, especially that day. One day, I'll go visit his grave. Forever, I'm glad I did what was right no matter how It Looks to Man. God knows what's best. And what's best is not what We think it is.
RIP Droopy

Pervert & the Cowards

Sandusky---> McQueary---> Paterno---> Penn St Officials---> But not the Police

This Penn St sex scandal sickens me. Of course Sandusky is the worse for being the vile molester. But the rest of the names are not real men either. They are a bunch of COWARDS that passed the buck of Responsibility instead of doing right thing and going to the police themselves.

McQueary is the worse of these cowards. He saw it! So why didn't he get the police? What about vigilante justice for the child? He should have confronted Sandusky in the shower then and there and got the child to safety. The rest just dropped the ball (No Pun Intended). Amazing how these Old, Grown, Adult men could do that.

And the poor Penn St community. Who wants to go though this? I know the students hate that their beloved coach is gone & school is battling reporters & legal accusations. But I want them to consider hearing this about another school. SMH

*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Fat Butt News Broadcast

I hate News Cast that focus on obesity & being overweight. Not the facts & advice. The showing of people's faces, guts, & butts has to be embarrassing. Especially if somebody realize that their body part on TV. 8O Especially kids. Oh the horrible possibility. You're eating a cupcake or getting a milk. It gets on TV and then the next day your peers tease you. Is the media trying to shame people into losing weight?

I remember the first time I passed by someone in a mall & I was Aware I got "That Look".  I was secretly embarrassed. Then I was obsessed for about a month checking to see my bust, butt & legs on TV. I finally esteem checked myself & stopped. I wonder do others do that.

I really wish the Media would stop that. Has to be like Invasion of Privacy, somehow. Hope no one signed a release, especially not the parents of the kids.
I bet not see my body on TV on a report. It will be hell to pay.

*Talking to You in Grown Up*

The Date Race

Someone suggested I read the book "Is Marriage for White People". I looked at them stupid. They felt that since they never saw me date anyone that was not black, I should open my self to dating other races. I laughed for a few minutes then explained that I am open to dating outside my race. But the type of men I date prefer dating that are other races don't come up to me asking Me for date. They asked "What Type is that". I told her "Decent Men". What you see approach, flirt with, or date me are "Decent Men". They just happened to be black. I've never been approached by a "Decent" man that was any other race. I don't date aimless, criminals, slouches, bums, drug using, married, uneducated, or alcoholics men no matter the race. I have yet to have a non-black man that was not those things approach me. If I won't date a "brotha" that are those things why would I settle for that just to date outside my race. Get me one that not those things and we can go on a date. They were dumbfounded.

As for this book. It is amazing how a black man  can suggest who should black women should consider dating. He feels Black women should consider dating outside their race because Black men are trying to use them. Umm In My Opinion he's trying to use them also, by writing a book about his suggestions. I'm not disagreeing with him but I don't feel he should make $$$ from it. Sad thing is there will be a nice percentage that will rush out and get his book. Many that don't understand the basics in dating anyway. Still Dating Randomly.

I don't understand why buy something that is common sense. I don't understand why folk don't get to know their self, make a solid basic non shallow list of attributes or standards of who they want to date. Things that they have to be, no exceptions. And go after that. My basic attributes for dating have nothing to do with race. Because dating randomly is the problem many folks have and until that is address then...
*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Too Much Emphasis on Sex

Today while straightening my grandmother's hair I was listening to a rerun of the Oprah
Show on her OWN channel. The show was about two 30 y/o ladies who were virgins  and
ashamed of to be sexually inexperienced. It was sad to me. Not because they were
virgins. As a celibate individual (YES a choice I call "Being Radical" I don't regret and a badge I wear as proud as my skin) that will never be something I would do. But because they felt like they were missing out on something in life. Because they felt like they are only people not getting the punch line of a joke. Of course it came out that they had underlying control & self esteem issues that were part of the blame. In my opinion, I blame society in part because they felt like they were less than because they were virgins. You see many movies & books about the poor virgin that NEEDS to get their cherry popped before it is too late. Too late for what? Vibrators and Dildos are is so many everyday catalogs I could scream. Levitra, Extenze, and ED medicine commercials are on TV before Prime time TV. On Halloween what kind of costumes sell the most? The list goes on & on. So it's no wonder these ladies thought it was embarrassing to be virgins. Even in my recent past I have learn not to discuss my celibacy with all my friends because some do not understand. Some one minute are praising me for that decision, the next minute think I'm crazy. Then there are some to suggest I "need to get some" but when I pay attention to their lives I realize they "need to get some" actually. One friend (whose only had "sex" once) I did tell that friend to catch up to my past then suggest that to me. I have not heard that suggestion anymore from that person's mouth. What is the obsession with sex about? Why is it everywhere? Why is it made to believe that if you're not doing it, something is wrong with you.? That was something I didn't hear on the show. No one ever ask the ladies were they Sure they even wanted to have sex. Somebody needed to have that kind of talk with them. Once they handle the control and self esteem issues, then decide to have sex there are heap of other emotions that come with that. Kinda of talk that teenage girls need to have before they have sex. Many of them are not being talked to either so why am I shocked. Maybe because there was a Doctor involved. But hey the goal was "getting them some" not making sure they look before they leap. They did help one to get know her body. That is a good thing. Can't expect somebody else to know what you like of you don't. I wish the ladies well. Hope they make a decision they can live with. And the shame of being 30 & a virgin is gone. Don't want the shame to cause them to have sex prematurely.


*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Ummm You're on a Competition Show

I am so sick of the Max/Chaz complaints of the judges comments on Dancing With the Stars Talk. I wish they would sit down and hush. Especially Max! Umm you are the professional. If Len felt that dance was Hope's worse dance it was her worse dance to Len. That is their job, to critique & judge. It's bad enough the audience boos whenever the comments are not favorable. I think the judges are just trying help the contestants improve. It can't be praises all the time.
As for Chaz, let's say I'm beyond annoyed anyway. It's not like Chaz danced every week. Chaz walked across the floor. Master P did better, IMO, lol. After Ron Artest week one, Chaz should have been next (but we know what that was). Chaz's complaint is just a way to extend Chaz's DWTS 15 minutes of fame. Max complained, so Chaz complained. Ooh hush, Learn to dance. This is worse than Cheryl Burk upset about blog/forum comments on her weight. Toughen Up People, YOU'RE Competing.
*Talking to You in Grown Up*

Be AWARE in October

It's October which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month & Domestic Violence Awareness
Month
So Keep your Hands & Cruelness to Yourself!!!
&
Let's Save the TaTa's (saw that on a shirt, might buy it)!!!
#pinklove #purplelove